JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

There are two recent movies involving the US Central Intelligence Agency and claiming to be based on actual events. Ben Affleck’s Argo is about the daring rescue of US Embassy personnel hiding out in Tehran during the Iranian revolution. Kathryn Bigelow’s Zero Dark Thirty is about the decade-long manhunt for Osama Bin Laden, culminating in the raid at Abbottabad.

It is useful to measure movies by their aspirations. Argo is a superb entertainment. We liked Argo—we do not mind that it futzes with the facts (the rescue proceeded without a hitch, no last-minute chase on the runway). If it stuck to actual events, it wouldn’t be as much fun. There are no moral dilemmas: who’s going to argue against saving the refugees? When the mission is accomplished, we feel good. Everything is going to be okay.

Zero Dark Thirty is a taut and rigorous examination of America after 9/11. It is very entertaining, but that’s not all it wants. This is not a movie we’re supposed to love, and its handling of the facts has incurred the ire of both the right (American politicians hotly deny that information gained from torture led to the capture of Bin Laden) and the left (Critics condemn the movie for not condemning torture). It demands more than our approval: it presents us with a moral dilemma that will not go away when the credits roll. When the mission is accomplished, we don’t celebrate. Everything is not going to be okay. In the heroes’ quest to punish the enemy, this is what they have become. Was it worth it?

ZD30 is now in theatres.

Rating: * * * * *

Read The Cost of Getting Bin Laden, our review at InterAksyon.com.

________

The Academy has a long history of being wrong. Kathryn Bigelow was not nominated for Best Director—given the controversy, we saw that coming. Argo got a slew of nominations but apparently directed itself—whatever. But Matthew McConaughey not getting a Best Supporting Actor nod for Magic Mike—that’s just cruel.

We started watching Holy Motors by Leos Carax out of curiosity, because it’s on so many year-end lists. We had no intention of watching the whole movie because our copy doesn’t have English subtitles.

First we were confused. Then we were weirded out. Then we were riveted. Then we were repelled. Then we were laughing. Then we were fascinated. Then we were moved. Then we were exhilarated. Then the movie was finished.

We still can’t tell you what it is exactly, but it’s amazing. It stars the indescribable Denis Lavant (The Lovers on the Bridge), Edith Scob (Eyes Without A Face), Eva Mendes who doesn’t say a word and doesn’t have to, and a soulful Kylie Minogue. Who knew?

2012: Year of the White Stretch Limos. The protagonist of David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis also rides around in one.

Summary: Spot-on depiction of stupid rich girls.

Rating: Incomplete. According to reports, director Andoy Ranay was not allowed to finish the movie—and it shows. Voice-over summation, anyone?

This is the story we heard from industry wags. Andoy comes to the shoot one day, and one of the actresses says, “Happy Last Day, Direk!”

“Hindi pa last day, we have some more shooting days left.”

Then someone else goes, “Happy Last Day, Direk!”

“Anong pinagsasabi ninyo?”

So Andoy finds the producer, and the producer says, “Direk, sorry…”

Recommendation: Fun to watch with actual sosyaleras.

Read our review at InterAksyon.com.

WE’RE FINISHED! We’re freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

It’s too easy to make fun of El Presidente: General Emilio Aguinaldo Story and the First Philippine Republic. This historical movie may not be as bad as Carlo J. Caparas’s Tirad Pass: The Last Stand of General Gregorio del Pilar, but from hereon we shall be leery of any movie title containing a colon.

Jeorge “E.R.” Estregan acquits himself in the role of Aguinaldo, though it helps that he is a sea of calm in a storm of overacting. Baron Geisler’s cartoonish Spanish officer (kilay acting) looks set to seize the bad acting award despite fierce competition from John Regala’s Spanish friar (bangs acting), and from William Martinez’s revolutionary general who seems to be possessed by Enchong Dee’s beard from The Strangers (balbas acting). And then Christopher de Leon’s Antonio Luna rides in to show them how it’s done (bigote acting).

In the spirit of authenticity much of the dialogue is in phonetic Spanish, delivered haltingly and with an eyebrow raised, contravida style. The photography is in a washed-out blue that gives the actors a corpse-like pallor, and slow motion is overused in the big battle scenes. So far, so MMFF—and then we heard the comments from several people in the audience.

“Salbahe pala si Andres Bonifacio.”

Continue reading at InterAksyon.com.

* * * * *
From reader giancarlo:

The question of bonifacio’s treachery is still a controversial and history being something of a blackhole where light does not escape I believe that to portray Bonifacio as a traitor although a little harsh is defensible.

I have great respect for you and more so to our revolutionary heroes but I’d rather see them as they are and not as historical figures who can do no evil.

* * * * *

Do not confuse heroes with saints.

The records show that Bonifacio had a foul temper and was a lousy military leader. He did insult the Magdalo troops; in the first place he shouldn’t have horned in on Aguinaldo’s territory (ambisyoso, impertinente, walang modo).

That doesn’t make him a traitor. That makes him a crap politician.

To establish treason you’d have to prove he was plotting to overthrow the revolutionary government or sell out to the Spanish. What is certain is that after the election, both sides spread rumors that the other was out to get them.

What is certain is that elections have always made Pinoys nuts.

Go to primary sources. But not Artemio Ricarte. We’re very fond of him but, umm, he referred to himself in the third person (El Vibora!).

The Nick Joaquin essay referred to is Why Fell the Supremo? Nick Joaquin calls Bonifacio ambitious and arrogant, but “traitor” does not come up. As for his plotting: “In Naic, he was surprised by Aguinaldo himself in the act of plotting with Mariano Noriel and Pio del Pilar, two generals of Aguinaldo’s army.”

Those two generals were taken back into Aguinaldo’s army as if nothing had happened. It was Noriel who signed Bonifacio’s death warrant.

P.S. Bonifacio “The Great Plebeian” was not technically a plebeian. He was upwardly mobile. He spoke some Spanish. Many of the writings attributed to him are probably fake. He had many cedulas under different names, so we’re not sure which one he tore, or exactly when and where.

Also, Apolinario Mabini was paralyzed not from syphilis but from polio. The VD story was black propaganda from the Aguinaldo camp. We could never understand the honorific, “Sublime Paralytic”. Sublime, maybe, paralyzed, certainly, but put the two together and it sounds like he was brilliant at being paralyzed.

Summary: Emilio Aguinaldo is the most misunderstood figure in Philippine history. El Presidente tries to set the record straight and ends up giving it a really bad perm.

Rating: 1.5 stars

Recommendation: If you have to watch it, bring a friend you can yak with. The other viewers won’t mind because they’re yakking too. We saw it with our friend Vivien.

– That high collar only accentuates Jeorge Estregan’s shortage of neck. Tailoring could’ve solved that.
– Ayyyy Baron Geisler looks demented!
– That’s not caused by drugs, that’s caused by rehab.
– Look! William Martinez has been possessed by Enchong’s beard from The Strangers.
– Just when you think Baron Geisler has the Overacting Award in the bag, Christopher de Leon appears to snatch it away!

The full review is coming up.

Summary: It’s the same old Star Cinema adultery drama, dressed up with a disease. As everyone has noted, it has the exact same story as the Chinese movie, In Love We Trust. There’s nothing wrong with borrowing from another movie and calling it an hommage, but the source is never acknowledged. And then the MMFF jury gives One More Try the best picture and screenplay awards, which tells us everything we need to know about their standards of “excellence”.

This is how to do an hommage. Ang miningunang ino ay mahura. Muno hampalan, hingawan, iyangan. Charlie Arceo, we miss you at MMFF time.

Rating: 2 stars.

Recommendation: Watch the Chinese movie.

Our full review is at the MMFF Moviethon on InterAksyon.com.