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In a sweatshop somewhere, some guy burning mass quantities of DVDs is thinking up funky titles for those 50-peso 8-in-1 compilations. Recent additions to his oeuvre: “Beautiful Woman In Big Mouth”, which makes perfect sense when you realize it is a collection of Julia Roberts movies. There’s “Unique Color Sensual Desire Cinema”—6 films by Pedro Almodovar, with 6 other flicks thrown in, including an adaptation of Justine by the Marquis De Sade (which reminds me of a classmate who tried to impress everyone by pronouncing it “Mar-quee de Shar-day” like the singer). A second disc of the same title contains 4 more Almodovars plus Cruel Intentions and Matador, which is the title of a movie by Almodovar, but is not the same movie by Almodovar (At least they did their research). Cinema is truly a global language: You look at the thumbnail of the poster of Femmes au bord de la crise de nerfs, and whether you speak French or not your moviegoing brain instantly translates it into Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Another collection with the fascinating title of “Frenzied Crime Member” contains Murmur of the Heart, Lacombe Lucien and Au revoir les enfants by Louis Malle, Hustle and Flow, Broken Flowers, Hilary and Jackie, some Hilary Swank flick, and Dog Day Afternoon. As a child I must have seen Dog Day Afternoon ten times—it was constantly showing on Channel 9, along with Deliverance (John Boorman), Straw Dogs (Sam Peckinpah), Take the Money and Run (Woody Allen), and Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (Martin Scorsese). Very strange programming, coming right after The Waltons, and now that I think about it, possibly responsible for my fear of Attica, rednecks with ukuleles, rednecks who hate geeks, bad penmanship, and marriage.