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In an extraordinary art performance, British performance artist Mark McGowan will dress up as the President George Bush and crawl on his hands and knees for nonstop for an incredible 72 hours. He will be covering 36 miles on the streets of New York. McGowan will have a sign on his posterior saying KICK MY ASS. He will be inviting members of the public, New Yorkers and allcomers to kick the sign. The event will start at Scope Art Fair on Thursday, February 22nd, 2007 at 3pm, and circumnavigate New York. McGowan will be wearing knee pads and a cushion will be placed inside his pants.

Qantas flight attendant denies having had sex with Ralph Fiennes in a toilet in business class during a flight from Darwin to Mumbai.
a. She’s clearly telling the truth because why would she deny it.
b. The crew members who reported her must’ve had it in for her because this sort of thing happens all the time.
c. It’s Rafe.
d. This is the sort of tacky news that boosts an actor’s profile.
e. She issued a 1500-word denial when “No, I didn’t” would have sufficed.
f. Time to watch The English Patient/The End of the Affair again, unless you prefer him without a nose in the Harry Potter movie.
g. Could be worse: she could’ve been a man.
h. Could be worse: they could’ve been in coach.

Love your quads

Originally uploaded by Koosama.

Contest! Post your caption for this photo in the comments box. Best three entries get a prize: Afraid: The Best Philippine Ghost Stories, or Maligayang Pagdating Sa Sitio Catacutan by Tony Perez, or Malagim Ang Gabi Sa Sitio Catacutan.

(I don’t know who took this picture. If you do, let me know so I can credit the photographer.)

That Roger. Always doing the things we wish we could do.

Zen Garden by Steph Palallos

Originally uploaded by Koosama.

It’s really very simple. Do not be daunted by the sheer number of candidates vying for your vote. The fact that there are so many candidates does not mean there are too many choices, only the appearance of choice. I mean, look at them. By a simple process of elimination you can figure out whose names land in your ballot.
Bear in mind that the desire to serve your country, no matter how sincere, does not in itself make you fit to hold public office. I want to play in a Wimbledon final, but am prevented by my total lack of tennis-playing ability. As for popularity, it is a qualification for winning elections, but not for doing the job (or knowing what it is). In the absence of a real party system, you have to look at the individuals. Here is a partial list of the candidates you cannot vote for.
A. Flaming idiots. That should get rid of at least half, and I’m being charitable.
B. The illiterate and ignorant.
C. The demonstrably inept.
D. The obviously corrupt.
E. Mayoral and gubernatorial candidates with no managerial experience whatsoever.
F. Senatorial wannabes and congressional aspirants who have no idea what the Constitution is.
G. Candidates with no actual plan.
You’ll find it is a very short list. Yes, we all wish we could elect the best that the nation has to offer, but often we have to settle for the least atrocious of a disastrous lot.

I love Penguin Books. I want a room lined with shelves full of Penguin Books with spines in the same color. For their 60th anniversary they reissued chosen classics in lower-priced Penguin Red editions (P249) and hundreds of titles in the silver editions (P499) with new cover designs and introductions (e.g. P.G. Wodehouse’s The Mating Season with an introduction by Christopher Hitchens). The My Penguin series—Books By the Greats, Covers By You (P249)—has blank white covers so you can do your own artwork. The coverless classics are Emma, The Waves, The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Tales of the Brothers Grimm, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and Crime and Punishment. Dammit, why can’t I draw.

One more movie and I’ll be convinced that Mayans are stalking me. There they are sacrificing their captives to Kukulkan in Apocalypto; there they are guarding the hidden pyramid and the Tree of Life in The Fountain. I’ve always been curious about the Mayans—curious and scared, because when I was a kid I saw these Tagalog komiks (Was it Zuma? Anak ni Zuma? I saw the movie on cable years ago—a scream!) in which they practised human sacrifice (Drawing of a hand clutching a throbbing heart). Or were those Aztecs? Incans? The Mayans came earlier, I think, and after their great cities died, some Mayan communities survived. They were an advanced civilization. They built pyramids, invented the idea of zero, and set an exact date for the apocalypse. They played football with human heads. A documentary called Ancient Apocalypses says the Mayans were done in by a terrible drought. The more they suffered, the more humans they sacrificed, hoping to propitiate their gods. Their underworld was called Xibalba. Some new age practitioners claim to incorporate the beliefs of the Mayans in their teachings. I suspect that the Mayans would decapitate them and play football with their heads. Even before they hear music by Yanni.
The Spanish Inquisition (No one expects the—!) also figures in The Fountain and Alatriste. I read somewhere that there was an Inquisitor’s Office in Manila in the 1600s. Who did they torture, I wonder? Must look it up in Blair and Robertson, or ask Ambeth.