JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
Subscribe

Archive for May, 2007

Mongo soup

May 18, 2007 By: jessicazafra Category: twisted by jessica zafra No Comments →

The connection between champorado and tuyo and old black-and-white movies.

Today’s Emotional Weather Report in the Star.

The Hotness Constant

May 17, 2007 By: jessicazafra Category: twisted by jessica zafra 1 Comment →

Sullivan’s Travels, originally uploaded by Koosama.

Joel McCrea (1905-1990) starred in many fine movies including Alfred Hitchcock’s The Foreign Correspondent, Preston Sturges’s Sullivan’s Travels and The Palm Beach Story, and Sam Peckinpah’s Ride The High Country.

In Sullivan’s Travels (1941) he plays a successful Hollywood director of lightweight comedies (Ants In Your Plants; Hey, Hey In The Hayloft) who wants to make a “serious” movie (O Brother, Where Art Thou?—a title the Coen Brothers used much later) about the plight of the common man. For his research he hits the road disguised as a hobo and encounters a failed starlet played by Veronica Lake. She declines his offer of an introduction to Ernst Lubitsch, but convinces him to take her along on his research. She’s actually more interested in the guy than in what he can do for her career. This makes perfect sense because he’s hot.

Hotness is inversely proportional to the awareness of one’s own hotness. McCrea who, being a big, handsome lug, is intrinsically hot, does not seem to know the effect he has on women, which makes him even hotter. So H = x/a, in which H is hotness, a is awareness, and x is the hotness constant which spells the difference between a man who is merely attractive and one who makes your chromosomes go boink, boink, boink.

Kryptonite or a red sun

May 16, 2007 By: jessicazafra Category: twisted by jessica zafra 3 Comments →

Roger Federer’s fans need to start rooting for him again. He’s been in a slump lately: since March he’s lost to Guillermo Canas twice, Rafael Nadal twice—including the Battle of the Surfaces, an exhibition match on a court that was half-grass and half clay [They should play in Manila, where a single court can have several types of surfaces: shell (Who else plays on shell?), dirt (where the shell is cracked), grass (growing out of the dirt), and mud (when it rains)], and most recently, to Filippo Volandri at the Rome Masters. That’s as many losses as he usually sustains in a whole year.

What’s the problem? Dissatisfaction with his coach (He recently parted ways with Tony Roche)? Too many Vogue layouts?  Ennui? He’s not losing interest, is he? This is the worst patch he’s been in since 2004. I don’t think it’s a major worry but Roland Garros starts soon, and it has the added burden of history.

That last loss was particularly distressing, not only because Volandri is ranked 53rd in the world, but because it was all over in two sets in 78 minutes. The Fed can usually turn these things around by lifting his game just a little, but on this occasion he seemed listless and his shots had no conviction. This is according to news reports—I didn’t watch the match because I’ve gotten so used to Federer winning(and all those greatest-player-ever articles) that I felt no need to cheer him on. A player wins and loses on his own, but it’s the fans who help create the atmosphere of belief that makes victory possible. Roger Federer needs us after all. Where did I put those streamers?

Simulating the universe

May 14, 2007 By: jessicazafra Category: twisted by jessica zafra 1 Comment →

Was the Antikythera mechanism—fragments of an ancient mechanical device that were found in 1900 after two thousand years in the Aegean Sea—the world’s first computer? John Seabrook in The New Yorker: “Until this moment, I had, like many others, continued to puzzle over why, if the Greeks were capable of building such a technically sophisticated device, they used that capacity to construct what is essentially a toy—an intellectual amusement. But as I beheld this whirring, whirling symphony of metal, a perfect simulation of a mechanistic and logical universe, I realized that my notions of practicality were foolish and shortsighted. This machine was much more than a toy; it embodied a whole world view, and it must have been, for the ancients, wonderfully reassuring to behold.”

Election Day perspectives

May 14, 2007 By: jessicazafra Category: twisted by jessica zafra 2 Comments →

As you troop to the polls, consider these nuggets from the noted political scientist, comedian George Carlin, who turned 70 the other day.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are
stupider than that.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that
apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere,
someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there
on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the
groups they identify with and belong to.

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:
You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal”, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”,
and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Verboten

May 12, 2007 By: jessicazafra Category: twisted by jessica zafra 6 Comments →

Huckleberry Finn and The Catcher In The Rye. A Wrinkle In Time, In The Night Kitchen, and The Witches. To Kill A Mockingbird, Flowers for Algernon, Slaughterhouse-Five and Lord of the Flies. Books we loved and still love, books that American parents want to ban from school libraries. The American Library Association Office for Intellectual Freedom has compiled this list of the 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990-2000. The list includes the Harry Potter series and Bridge to Terabithia. The ALA reports that for every challenge reported, at least 4 or 5 go unreported. That’s the way to protect your children: close their minds.