JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

1. You can see 28 Weeks Later as an intelligent zombie movie or a satire on the US invasion of Iraq. Either way it’s clever and terrifying.

2. 28 Days Later was the statement of the problem. 28 Weeks Later is about the solution, which is at least as scary as the problem.First you eliminate the infected. Then you contain the infection. If that doesn’t work, exterminate everyone. You can’t tell the “enemies” from the “friendlies”.

3. The attacking horde of blood-spewing zombies is kind of like the crowd fighting for taxis outside the mall at rush hour on a rainy Friday.

4. There were infected zombies in the audience, except that they didn’t have the Rage Virus. They were afflicted with the Uncouthness Virus, which causes moviegoers to carry on their inane conversations while everyone is trying to watch the movie. I know it was inane because I could hear every word. Clearly they were also carriers of the Stupidity syndrome, but that may be genetic. The Uncouthness Virus deadened their senses so they could not hear people telling them to shut up. Fortunately they were drowned out by the noise of attacking zombies. I’m relieved I did not see the movie with my friend who IS the Rage Virus.

Digression: Why you shouldn’t use your cellphone during meetings. Thanks, Budj.

5. This sequel was produced by Danny Boyle and Alex Garland, the director and writer of 28 Days Later and Sunshine. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo directs. Cillian Murphy’s not in it, which is just as well because after everything his character went through in the first movie, this would be cruel. Rose Byrne from Sunshine plays another scientist. To me Robert Carlyle is always Begbie, so he would be scary even without the infection. I expect le sequel.

6. Alex Garland’s novel The Tesseract is set in Manila, but it was filmed in Bangkok and directed by Oxide Pang.

7. If you’re looking for a non-stupid (sometimes this is the most we can hope for) romantic comedy about university life and quiz shows with a good 80s soundtrack (The Cure, New Order, Undertones) and James MacAvoy, check out Starter for 10. It also stars two guys from The History Boys and three Rome cast members (Servilia, Cassius, and Octavian in a dress).

8. There was a poster outside the theatre for a movie starring Regine Velasquez and Piolo Pascual. They were embracing in the water, but she had a long-sleeved shirt on and he was topless. So we know who their target audience is.

For the Philippine Science High School (Pisay) alumni homecoming later this year, we’re doing a cryptanalysis contest via SMS. It’s called Da Pisay Code—doesn’t take a genius to figure out what inspired the title; doesn’t take a genius to crack the code either, but it helps. There’s a secret sentence, and every other week you get clues that will point to the word for that week. Towards the end of the contest you put all the words together in the correct sequence to form the secret sentence. The winner will be declared a genius and her/his name flashed on an LCD billboard on Edsa for a whole day. There’s a cash prize too, but we know what really matters. To register, text PISAY to 2299 (P2.50 per text). The first clue will be received via SMS next week.

The story of Da Pisay Code appears in today’s Emotional Weather Report in the Star. It contains other clues to help you decipher the sentence. If you should discover who the code team members are, do not, I repeat, do not attempt to ask them for help. Violators will be placed in a very cramped box with a very large and fragile vial of cyanide to experience Schrodinger’s parable of superposition.

The winner of our 100-word Spider-Man 3 review contest is. . .Marlon Rivera for giving away the major plot points so we don’t have to watch the movie, while sticking to the word count. Honorable mention to Neil Cabato for his psychoanalytical take on the Peter-Harry relationship, and Cynthia Hernandez for her rumination on coiffure and couture as expressions of wickedness. Congratulations!

Notebooks, originally uploaded by Koosama.

My book publisher says to remind everyone that Twisted Travels is now available at Powerbooks and National Bookstores. Here’s a snippet of a piece that may appear in the next Twisted book, if there is one.

In Florence, I was told, everything is within walking distance. I would’ve walked from the train station to my hotel if I knew where it was. According to my online booking form it was close to the Campanile of the Duomo. I hauled my two suitcases into the number 7 bus. “Duomo? Campanile?” I asked the driver. “Si,” he said.

There was a group of noisy Pinoy teenagers on the bus, all dressed like hiphop buccaneers—shiny baggy tracksuits, bandanas, trainers. I didn’t feel like being interviewed (“Pilipino ka? Taga-saan ka? Mag-isa ka? Bakit mag-isa ka? Saan ka titira?”) so I showed no reaction when they conversed loudly in Tagalog. They looked at me pointedly, then left me alone

I don’t know how I managed it, but I missed the Duomo and then I noticed that we were in the hills. “Duomo? Campanile?” I asked the driver again. “Si,” he said. He let me off at the Duomo—in Fiesole, a hill-town outside Florence where the natives retreated in the summer.

An hour and a return trip later, I found the Hotel Medici, which was indeed within spitting distance of the Duomo if you had very powerful cheeks. A sign said the front desk was on the fifth floor. There was an ancient elevator that didn’t seem to work. I’d dragged my suitcases up a flight of stairs before I realized that the elevator did work, an alarming assortment of creaks and groans issuing from the antique machinery.

The signora at the front desk announced that I had “a room with a view”, a happy omen because it was E.M. Forster’s novel that got me interested in Florence in the first place. (And the Merchant-Ivory movie, although I know Julian Sands no longer looks like that and Daniel Day-Lewis is taken). Later I realized that every innkeeper in Florence promises a room with a view.

How to make sure the books you lend out are returned, and other semi-useful tips.

My PinoyCentric interview; thanks to Jo and Armand.

I can’t bring myself to watch Spider-Man 3. It’s not like me, I usually catch movies on the first day so I can bitch about them the rest of the week. I had several chances to see the movie this past week, but couldn’t drag myself into the theatre. It’s not because some of my friends hated it—I have a contrarian nature so I’m actually inclined to like something more because it’s detested by others. When people say “This way”, I’ll want to go in the opposite direction, not necessarily because I like the opposite direction better but because I feel compelled to be disobedient. I think the reason I can’t watch it is because every single movie theatre in the city is showing Spider-Man, so I have no choice but to watch Spider-Man, which makes me resist watching Spider-Man because I hate being told what to do.

Which means you’ll have to review the movie. Post your short review (maximum 100 words) of Spider-Man 3 in the Comments section. If for some reason you can’t post in Comments (some readers have reported a problem), email the review to jessica.zafra@gmail.com. The one who posts the funniest review gets the shooting scripts of The Shawshank Redemption and The Truman Show. Deadline is Thursday, 12 noon Manila time.