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This kid has to win the Spelling Bee so his parents might have a chance at political asylum in the US. Meanwhile he’s living in a motel room in Green River, Utah, studying sprachgefuhl. The pressure! I competed in the local Spelling Bee, but at least I was only competing for bragging rights (they tell you it’s “honor” but for the most part it’s just that)—not even mine, but the school’s, and more importantly, my demanding parents’. And then in the city finals we were down to three, and I stepped up to get my word. Aisle?! I get aisle?! I could’ve spelled sprachgefuhl with the two dots over the u and they gave me aisle? True, I didn’t pay attention when they used it in a sentence. So I lost.

80s, originally uploaded by Koosama.

I just realized that the pictures will come out in the papers, so I must prepare you for this horror. Here is the tsunami hairdo. That’s Jen measuring its height. Note how the hair is almost as big as my forehead. One must not go inside Starbucks with this hair because Starbucks did not exist in the 80s, so it would cause a time-space anomaly. You can only go to Tokyo Tokyo or some other place that already existed when your hairstyle was in vogue. That should be a codicil to the theory of relativity. Thanks to Chus for the styling and the photo.

So we arrived wearing our 80s outfits, and in the parking building we were surrounded by those kids who wash cars. They were gawking at us and snickering (I would’ve done the same thing). “Tao kami, hindi palabas!” Sideshow Marlon told them.

“Ser, ano ang tawag sa ganyang pananamit?” said one of the kids.

Sideshow Marlon said, “Satanista!”

Today’s Emotional Weather Report in the Star is by Jessica ZAPRA.

Sounds like me, though. Hey if it sounds like me, thinks like me, reads like me, is it a duck?

Mat and Saffy with last month’s stash, originally uploaded by Koosama.

Books found in bargain bins in April, most of them under P100. Filipiniana and La Mirada Oblicua are from the World Book Day fair at Instituto Cervantes. (La Mirada is in Spanish, but it’s a photography book so I can just look at the pictures.) Domino by Ross King, The Book of Proper Names by Amelie Nothomb, Hunger by Elise Blackwell, Strangers by Taichi Yamada, Toddler-Hunting by Kono Taeko (stop giggling), and In The Wilderness by Manuel Rivas are from the sale last weekend at Fully Booked. Manuel Rivas also wrote the story Butterfly’s Tongue, which was made into a heartbreaking movie. Giordano Bruno and the Embassy Affair (nothing to do with T-shirts or clubs), Tim Winton’s Dirt Music, James Hamilton-Paterson’s Gerontius, and The Selected Writings Of Christine De Pizan are from the fourth floor of National Bookstore in Cubao, one of my favorite time warps. (It’s been cleaned up, and the books arranged into shelves, but the prices have gone up. Most of the fiction trade books go for P200.) Christine De Pizan, who was born in Venice in the 1364 and lived in France, was the first professional woman writer. The National time warp also has a number of books about rugby and photography. There’s one called The Vanishing Commissar, about how official Soviet photographs trace the rise and fall of Stalin’s men. To announce that they had fallen out of favor, Stalin would erase them from the photos—scratch their faces out in ink—and they would be. . .erased. An early and terrifying version of Photoshop.

We hauled ourselves to Megamall to watch Tulad Ng Dati, only to find that it was no longer showing at the digital cinema. All the theatres were showing Spider-Man 3 (remember to hyphenate). I understand that it’s the most-awaited movie of the year, and I myself intend to watch it, but does every single cinema in the city have to show Spider-Man 3? What happened to giving the audience a choice?

While we tried to digest the fact that we would not be seeing Tulad Ng Dati after all, we got another text message reminding us that Tulad Ng Dati was showing at all SM digital cinemas! Support Filipino cinema! How are we supposed to do that when the movie isn’t even showing?

I used to go to Megamall a lot. I practically lived there between 1993 and 1997. The first time I went there, when it was newly-built, I thought, Wow this place is huge how can they ever fill it up? During my Megamall years I shopped, ate, watched movies, and did all my chores there. My friend Henry used to have this astrology booth in the basement, and we would hang out there when we had nothing to do, which was most of the time. (Ever see that awful Kevin Smith movie Mallrats?) It was the grunge era so we wore a lot of black, layers, and Doc Martens. (And yet I thought I was immune to fashion.)

One day Ruthie and I were leaving the cinema when we heard two guys bickering at the snack bar. (This was before SM took over all the snack bars at the theatres.) They were having a hilarious debate over the merits of the Wachowski Brothers’ Bound. That’s how I met the filmmakers Patrick (who was Ruthie’s cousin) and Noel (who was Patrick’s cousin, but not Ruthie’s). Patrick had David Lynch hair and glasses, and Noel had a metal plate in his head from when he was run over by a truck. Noel could recite entire movies, including Spartacus and Planet of the Apes. Inevitably we would run into the Alamat Twins, Budjette and Brandie, who produced comic books.

Henry closed shop years ago. Ruthie died in 2002. I have no idea where Patrick and Noel are. Budjette and Brandie, who are not actually twins, work in ad agencies. I hardly ever go to Megamall anymore.