JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

From the New York Times, March 20, 2008: “Sebastian Horsley, a British author who has written an eyebrow-raising memoir detailing a life of rampant drug use and voluminous encounters with prostitutes, was turned back at Newark Liberty International Airport on Tuesday as he tried to enter the United States for a book party and New York news media tour. Mr. Horsley, whose memoir, “Dandy in the Underworld,” was published last week…said he was detained by United States customs authorities for eight hours and questioned about his former drug addiction, use of prostitutes and activity as a male escort. “I’m absolutely shattered and upset and gutted about not being able to come to America,” Mr. Horsley said in a telephone interview from London…

“In “Dandy of the Underworld” Mr. Horsley, who is notorious in Britain, writes of being raised by alcoholic, sexually promiscuous parents and bouncing through several schools. He details a debauched life of cocaine, heroin, opium and amphetamine use, writing that he spent more than £100,000 (nearly $200,000) on crack cocaine and £100,000 to consort with more than 1,000 prostitutes. He also chronicles his trip to the Philippines to be hung from a cross, an event that was recorded by a photographer and videographer and formed part of an art exhibition that was extensively covered by the news media in his home country…”

Hmm, drug-taking dandies and Crucifixion. Very much on the Pinoy public’s mind right now. The article quotes a US Customs and Border Protection spokeswoman as saying that under a waiver program that allows British citizens to enter the United States without a visa, “travelers who have been convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude (which includes controlled-substance violations) or admit to previously having a drug addiction are not admissible.” Two words: Keith Richards. (Always confused about Keith’s surname. Apparently it was the singular form till 78, plural after that. So now I know.)

They’ve got an ad in The Daily Telegraph, demanding the formal restoration of the order. The last time anyone heard from them was in 1314, when their grand master was burned at the stake. Apparently they’re represented by a West London accountant who also does the books for the Wiggles. Patrick Barkham investigates. First the Ark of the Covenant is reportedly found, then the Templars—supposedly the keepers of the Holy Grail—allegedly resurface. Funny these news should emerge on the year of a new Indiana Jones movie. 

Have you seen those tarpaulins attached to the pillars under the MRT? The ones with the portrait of MMDA Chair Bayani Fernando looking sternly at the motorists? Is this supposed to be a deterrent to traffic violations? Will Manila’s drivers observe traffic rules and regulations because an authority figure/bureaucrat/father substitute is standing there in a barong tagalog glowering at them? Is this anywhere as effective as, say, knowing that if you break the rules you will certainly get caught and penalized, and that if you get pulled over it’s for a real, actual violation?

Note the words printed at the bottom of the tarp: “Mere possession of this sign is punishable by law”. Meaning the MMDA is aware that these reminders for motorists will likely be stolen. So maybe there should be a second tarp of Mr Fernando glaring at the culprits who intend to steal these signs. These tarps are government property. They belong to the people. Stealing is wrong. But then you’d have to put signs everywhere to remind thieves that what they’re doing is bad, and then. . .

Meanwhile, there are bumper stickers saying Erap 2010. Oy, the theory of eternal recurrence. We can’t even say “Now I’ve heard everything”, because we already said it years ago.

Arthur C. Clarke, science fiction writer, died today in Sri Lanka. He was 90.

In 1945, he wrote a paper predicting a globe-spanning network of communications satellites. He showed that “space stations” parked in a circular orbit above the equator would exactly match the Earth’s rotation period of 24 hours. The satellite would remain above the same spot, providing a “stationary” target for transmitted signals, which could then be retransmitted to wide swaths of territory below. This so-called geostationary orbit has been officially designated the Clarke Orbit by the International Astronomical Union. He called this paper the most important thing he’d ever written. Then there were the stories and novels. His story The Sentinel was the basis for Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Clarke worked on the screenplay with Kubrick, then wrote the book. When the Apollo astronauts orbited the moon, they were tempted to report “a black monolith” on the surface. Here’s a summary of his brilliant career.

Clarke formulated the three laws of prediction:
I. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
II. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
III. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

He was one of the sages who imagined our world into being.

The English director Anthony Minghella is dead. He was 54. No cause of death was given. He had just finished shooting the film adaptation of The Number One Ladies Detective Agency in Botswana.

Minghella directed several episodes of Jim Henson’s Storyteller TV series before making the feature, Truly, Madly, Deeply. Truly, Madly, Deeply is a romantic comedy about death. Juliet Stevenson stars as a woman who is so grief-stricken at the death of her lover, it’s as if she’s died, too. Then her lover, played by Alan Rickman, returns as a ghost. At first they’re very happy, but before long she gets ticked off because there are ghosts in her living room all the time, watching Brief Encounter.

Minghella also wrote/adapted and directed Mr. Wonderful, The English Patient, The Talented Mr. Ripley (Jude Law has never been as beautiful, and Philip Seymour Hoffman stole every scene he was in), Cold Mountain, and Breaking and Entering. He was recently seen in Atonement as the man interviewing the aged Briony Tallis (Vanessa Redgrave). He will be missed. Watch clips from his movies.

Mood ring, originally uploaded by 160507.

Weekday, round 9pm, while eating suman and turon.

Grungella: One of my cats emailed Poland.

Grover: Explain.

Grungella: I got a “mail delivery failed” message. Apparently someone sent email to (consults notebook) txtww.tyminska@dz.com.pl. I’m guessing pl is Poland? I never emailed Poland, so it must be one of my cats. They like to walk on my keyboard while I’m working, and they must’ve stepped on the right combination of letters. It’s happened before.

Guy Smiley: That’s a nice ring.

Grungella: It’s a mood ring. The color changes according to your mood.

Grover: How does it work?

Grungella: It detects changes in your body temperature.

Grover: (puts it on) What’s my mood?

Grungella: Wait a minute. It turned green, so you’re in an okay mood.

Guy Smiley: Let me try. It turned orange.

Grungella: It means you’re agitated. Blue is supposed to mean you’re calm, and dark blue means you’re romantic or passionate.

Grover: I should wear a mood ring on a date, and announce what the color is, but not what it means!

Grungella: Or make your date wear it, and observe what color it turns into!

Guy Smiley stares at the mood ring.

Grungella: What are you doing?

Guy Smiley: I’m waiting for it to turn dark blue.

Grungella: You’re in love?

Guy Smiley: I’m in love with this mood ring, so it should turn dark blue! (Goes on staring at the ring.)

Grungella: Are you trying to make the ring change color by sheer force of will?

Guy Smiley: Yes.

Grungella: This is why we’re friends.