Sniffing gasoline
Transporter 3 is silly, loud, illogical, a 90-minute ad for Audi (Apparently it will start right after being completely submerged in water!) with cheesy dialogue. On the plus side, it stars Jason Statham, which is enough reason to watch it. Here is a movie that knows what a crane is for: it’s to take an aerial shot of Jason lying in bed in his underwear. Fight scenes are just an excuse for Jason to take his shirt off. The female lead even holds the car keys hostage until Jason strips off the Dior suit. Clearly, we’re all on the same page.
How to pretend to be a movie critic after seeing Transporter 3
– It’s a hilarious parody of the action genre, though it falls short of the standard set by the first Transporter.
– But it doesn’t have that sense of existential doom that pervades Death Race 2000.
– Or the phenomenological questioning of Crank.
– Still, it does address the Kierkegaardian despair of necessity that animated Rogue Assassin.
Do you want to see a good movie starring Jason Statham? The Bank Job.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
January 13th, 2009 at 19:43
This early, I’ve read somewhere that there will yet be another sequel to “The Transporter.” Reportedly, it will be retitled “Transplanter” i.e., Jason Statham’s buff character will be held hostage by a demented scientist as an unwilling guinea pig for his radical hair transplant procedure. Seriously, I think Mr. Statham will look better if he just shaves his remaining hair, like Vin Diesel and Verne Troyer. (nah, maybe not him.) Better to be downright “kalbo” than “nakakalbo”. Among us men, there should be no middle ground when it comes to hair loss. Also, I’ve noted that almost all black NBA players look better with a shaved head. Why, If I have such beautiful shaped head like Kobe, I’d shave my noticeably thinning mane anytime, too, but I’m afraid my girl would mock me no end. She told me I’d look like a 130 pound bigger version of Troyer, or Gollum, and that can never be right. (Sometimes I wonder if I should marry her someday.)
January 16th, 2009 at 19:49
T-Bag FTW!!!