JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

I Lego NY by Christoph Niemann in his Abstract City blog in the NYT

Most times when I feel the flu coming on I ignore the symptoms in the hope that they will go away (while I hydrate and take megadoses of vitamins). Sometimes it works, this week it didn’t. The scratchy feeling in my throat last Friday was gradually followed by congestion, headache, and finally, a fever that knocked me flat. I slept for most of Monday and Tuesday, surrounded by cats (who consider 21 hours of sleep a day perfectly normal and were happy that I’d come to my senses), waking up only when I heard myself talking in my sleep. Maybe I should record my sleep-talking, but I suspect it will be boring.

While I was semi-delirious, Carlo texted that his aunt’s German Shepherd bit off his (Carlo’s) butt cheek, taking away 85 percent of his remaining body fat and making it difficult for him to sit down. The dog has had his shots, so Carlo is probably not going to shun baths or start baying at the moon, but he is being kept under observation (the dog, not Carlo).

This is not the first time that dog has bitten people. In the US he would’ve been put to sleep. Poor doggies. Many of them probably were hostile and violent, but some might just have been over-excited fashion critics. I know of a Japanese Spitz who loathed black pants, which was unfortunate because his human’s daughter wore nothing else (with tops).

Noel consoled Carlo on his mauling by quoting Diana Vreeland: A woman is beautiful by her scars. Or made beautiful by her scars. That’s the general idea, you can look up the exact words.

“A scar in the butt shows the strength of my character,” Carlo said.

“Yes, if you walk around with one butt cheek (or ex-butt cheek) exposed,” I pointed out. Perhaps this canine attack is the universe’s critique of Carlo’s social life—which, ironically, can only help his social life (“Would you like to see my scar?”). In any case Carlo’s condition makes my own seem almost pleasant by comparison, and a few days in bed watching Fawlty Towers and Lubitsch is nothing to complain about.