I hate you.
You and your friends are going to the movies. You’re already at the mall, so you decide to buy the tickets right there instead of getting them online.
You line up at the box-office. The next screening of the movie you want to see starts in twenty minutes, but there’s just one couple ahead of you in the queue, so there should be no problem.
That’s what you think.
They’re clinging tightly to each other like survivors of a shipwreck washed up on an island and surrounded by predators waiting to snatch their precious mates, but that’s none of your business.
When the ticket-seller asks them which movie they intend to see, they respond by asking her what movies are showing. The marquee is in their faces and there are posters marked “Now Showing” in the lobby, but apparently these unfortunate people never learned to read. The ticket-seller rattles off the titles of the movies. They ask her to repeat them. Then they ask her who’s starring in each movie, and what the movie is about. They discuss the movies among themselves, including reviews they’ve read on the Internet, and the opinions expressed by people who have seen the movies.
This takes five minutes. You can fidget and clear your throat all you want, but they will not be moved.
Finally they reach a decision as to which movie they will see. Oh, happy day! Now you can get your tickets…
They look at the screening schedules and confer as to which time would be most convenient for them. What about the 4pm, he asks. I want to go shopping first, she replies. But we’re expected at 7pm, he reminds her. They discuss their mealtimes, weekend itineraries, shopping lists and so on. It is way more information than the ticket-seller or you, the hapless people in line behind them, can possibly need.
You are losing your patience, but you restrain yourself; you politely mention to them that your movie is about to start and suggest that they either pick up the pace or allow you to get your tickets while they are mulling over their new proof of Fermat’s theorem. If they heard you, they give no indication; their total lack of consideration for other humans (plus monstrous sense of entitlement) protects them like a force field. In the end they do what indecisive twerps have done through the ages. They call her mother and make her choose the time. Calloo, callay!
Now comes the real challenge: selecting the seats. They look at the diagram on the screen, then refer to the printed version, but their faces are void of comprehension. They may as well be taking a calculus exam. Which side is the screen on again? Do the X’s mean the seats are taken or not? She wants a seat in the back because she gets headaches at the movies, but he’s forgotten his glasses so he needs to sit close to the screen…
A millisecond before you go Christian Bale on them, they conclude the transaction and wander off to the refreshments stand, where they will infuriate several dozen more people. You and your friends get to your movie ten seconds into the opening credits. You have missed the trailers.
From Cracked: The Eight Customers Everyone Hates.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
February 8th, 2009 at 01:41
That’s really irritating. Makes you want to push them aside.
I remember buying some cotton from the groceries. There was this woman standing beside the end of a line for a counter with the sign “for basket carriers only.” She had a cart that was full of sanitary napkins and liquor. Thinking that she wasn’t in line (she was preoccupied with texting) I took the slot before her. When my turn came, her daughter arrives. She begins ranting how she came before me (referring to me in the third person) and that she just allowed me because I was just buying cotton. If I wasn’t wearing my uniform, I’d have gone Wilde (allusive pun intended).
February 8th, 2009 at 01:54
suwerte pa rin kayo since they didn’t go like:
boy: anong gusto mong panoorin?
girl : ikaw? kung anong gusto mo, ok sa akin.
boy: hindi, ok lang kung anong gusto mo.
girl: ikaw na pumili. kahit anong piliin mo ok na sa akin.
boy: gusto ko yung magustuhan mo kung anong panonoorin natin kaya ikaw na pumili.
girl : meron bang love story?
boy: eh yun na yung pinanood natin dati diba?
girl : akala ko ba kung anong gusto ko?
boy: o sige love story na lang. sigurado kang ayaw mo ng action?
girl: o sige action na lang.
boy: pero sigurado kang ok lang sa yo? baka napipilitan ka lang?
girl : hinde, ok lang. kung anong gusto mo ok sa akin.
boy: hmm… o sige love story na lang.
girl : yehey! puwede bang “He’s just not into you”?
boy: o sige. sigurado kang ayaw mo ng “taken”?
girl: akala ko ba kung anong gusto ko? love story ba yun?
boy: medyo. semi-autobiographical ni britney spears at ng pag value nya sa virginity nya.
girl: o sige!
February 8th, 2009 at 08:39
This entry absolutely nails it. Plus you referenced a Cracked article. It’s good to know one is not alone in one’s sociopathic leanings. :p Frankly, the fact you waited so long bespeaks a Job-like patience that I would have traded in for the moist jawbone of an ass in no time flat. (I know you will get the references.)
Cheers.
February 8th, 2009 at 10:35
well, that’s irritating
February 8th, 2009 at 10:46
The most annoying part? These are the people who are going to go forth and sprog, and pass on their genes for obliviousness and general idiocy to the next generation. Unless the gene for intelligence is recessive. We can only hope…
February 8th, 2009 at 14:47
Imagine having to sit infront of them, while they give you a play by play account of the movie incase you missed the blatantly obvious plot then start having telebabad sessions. I hate going to the movies.
February 8th, 2009 at 21:27
these things will be more bearable if they’re doing a live porn show
February 9th, 2009 at 03:36
My prescription: the cinema management should install retractable machine guns in the ceiling. In case indecisive people like those mentioned ever show up, just fire away at the bastards. Seriously, isn’t it the job of the ticketing cashier or security personnel to tell those nincompoops that they are causing inconvenience to other people? They should tell it to them hard and straight to embarrass them, or shoo them away. Apparently the cashier is WAY too friendly and courteous.
February 9th, 2009 at 21:58
I boil easily so I’ll usually give people 3 mins of my precious time before I give them what’s coming for them. I release my stress on my aggressors! No on point being polite to bastos people! I don’t do it to others so I won’t let others to it to me!
February 18th, 2009 at 12:41
Come on people give these oblivious idiots a chance. They are very polite and courteous too you know. They say sorry to you even if you’ve intentionally bumped them to rouse them out of their “monstrous sense of entitlement”. They especially say sorry to the poor glass wall or some inconsiderate hanged displays who comes in their way. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s to themselves they say sorry to when they’ve bumped into the clear glass wall.
September 3rd, 2009 at 00:31
wow, its like waiting for the GMA administration to finally end..
-frustrating and hopeless