JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Though we prefer Alphas and Toms.

‘The nerve of that Zack, dragging us all the way to Antipolo in this Arrakeen heat,’ we complained as the Welcome arch came into view. As expected, there was heavy traffic on Ortigas Avenue Extension (but not nearly as heavy as it will be in May, fiesta season). All our complaints died on our lips the minute we saw the house.

According to our lovely host who allowed us to pollute his furniture, the house was built in Navotas in 1917. A few years ago, it was moved piece by piece to a hilltop in Antipolo.

The layout of the house was changed slightly to make it less complicated.

They kept all the Art Nouveau details.

The occasion was Zack’s. . .debutante party. We couldn’t light all the candles because we’d have to alert the fire department. Happy birthday, we look forward to reading your novel, Leche. No really, the title of his novel is Leche.

P.S. Since you asked: It’s a private residence, not open to the public. You have to be invited. Like a vampire.

The Colossus of Rhodes, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, from National Geographic

The other week I thought I’d take the emotional temperature of readers by floating an idea that was either brilliant or dopey (Of course the best ideas are both). I proposed the privately-funded construction of a massive towering monument that would symbolize the Philippines. Let’s call it the Colossus Project.

The rationale for this construction is analogous to the technique used by some actors to create their characters. They build the role from the outside in: they figure out how their character looks, what she wears, how she speaks, laughs, cries, the way she moves, etc. When the externals have been defined, they work on the emotional core. Maybe if we start with the monument, we will be forced to look at what’s inside ourselves.

It’s not an original idea. A friend reminds me that before the 1998 Centennial, there was a government proposal to build such a tower at the Luneta. It was shouted down by the media, probably for good reason.

And yes, there is an Albert Speer-ness about this, and more than a touch of megalomania, so let’s keep our sense of irony about us.

We received several reactions to the Colossus Project from our readers. Here are some of their letters, edited for length and vehemence.

Re:Construction in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Star.

The weather is so horrible I’m reduced to talking about the weather. Every time I step out of the house I feel like crying, my flesh is about to melt. When I get home my cats greet me at the door then huddle round the airconditioner indicating I should turn it on. Now. My plan to survive this summer: Go someplace cold, like Siberia. If I can’t do that, hide out in a dark, freezing, near-empty movie theatre. Never mind what’s showing, just soak up the cold; the bigger the flop, the colder the theatre. Maybe get an IV drip of ice-cold Coke. Here’s a recipe for Argentina’s ‘national cocktail’, Fernet and Coke.

Zack was in Buenos Aires recently, he says it looks like Paris full of Italians speaking Spanish. I think we should go. When it’s winter there.

Fernet Branca is a liquor made of plant extracts that tastes like the devil’s cough syrup but more bitter. James Hamilton Paterson has a hilarious novel called Cooking With Fernet Branca which contains recipes for stuff like chocolate-covered oysters (I’m too torpid to look up my copy). The novel has spawned two sequels: Amazing Disgrace, and Rancid Pansies (Anagram for what? Tick tock tick tock…Princess Diana!).

Here’s a religious murder mystery graphic novel involving codes embedded in paintings, Templars, and the Grail: Rex Mundi. Free download. Will be filmed by Johnny Depp.

Ambient temperature in Metropolitan Manila: 39 degrees Celsius. That’s a fever. If your temperature is 39 degrees you get to skip school and stay in bed. My systems shut down and refused to do anything lest they generate more heat.

We spotted this sign at the entrance to the Ayala/Edsa underpass. I thought I was seeing things in the frizzling heat, so I looked again.

What is this?
a) a tribute to the former head of Singapore
b) a pun/a riff
c) the Metro Manila Development Authority being cute
d) a mirage, like the desert visions induced by heat, thirst, and hunger in Temptation Island.

On our way home we saw this window display.

Didn’t know store displays were so interesting late at night. Or maybe it was just too hot inside the shop.

Bernie Madoff ordered a pair of US$2,000 worsted spun cashmere trousers from a store called Trillion on Worth Avenue in Palm Beach, Florida.

The trousers cost $2,000 because they’re made of a fabric that doesn’t pill or wrinkle and they feel like “the skin of some exotic pet”.

The store is called Trillion because Million or Billion would be an insult to the super-rich of Palm Beach.

The trousers weren’t available in Madoff’s size so they had to be ordered from Italy. Madoff got arrested before he could come in for a fitting

According to David Segal in the NYT, “Given the density of the superrich, given the roughly 20 percent decline in the value of real estate since the housing bust, and given the concussive impact of Mr. Madoff, Palm Beach might well have this dubious distinction: the net worth of the average resident here has recently plunged, in absolute terms, by more than the average net worth of residents in any other town or city in the country.”

Oh the poor rich people. How much they’ve suffered these past months.

More! More!