JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Still photo from Dawn of the Dead.

This has to be my favorite title of the week: The mysterious equilibrium of zombies, by Samuel Arbesman in The Boston Globe.

I have discussed the entries to the Alternate History contest with our guest judge Din Atienza and we have agreed to declare the contest a failure.

Din: “This set me to thinking though: to write a subtle, brilliant alternate history, one would have to be conversant with all the players at the time. Which begs the question, does one have to be equally conversant in order to appreciate it?

“I personally would’ve liked to hear one where a theocracy headed by Jaime Cardinal Sin rises. Catholic school upbringing, ya know. Mike Velarde becomes a public relations wiz to rival Bobby Dacer. Socrates Villegas becomes Cardinal and Executive Secretary and later, when Sin dies, is tempted by Velarde to revive the Philippine Independent Church. . .

“All (the entries) only did a straight line extrapolation of the Marcos regime to the present. Entry #5 from william_tan_see did the homework and showed imagination—I would have been interested to see how he’d integrate all that into a story. Entry #8 from Qsdn: great choice of medium but the extrapolation was obvious and he admits it himself, calling it cliche.”

So there: No contest. However, to acknowledge the effort william_tan_see and Qsdn put into their entries, I will give them copies of the Cory book anyway. I’ll hand them over at the Good Ideas Forum to which you are both invited.

Here is US President Barack Obama’s speech to the students on the first day of school. It’s a great speech—not for the grandeur of the oratory but its exact opposite. The speech is down-to-earth, couched in simple but effective language, and amply illustrated with examples from the speaker’s own life. Unlike many politicians, you can believe that this one had a real, ordinary childhood.

Best of all, Obama talks to the kids as if they were intelligent human beings. As one who was talked down to by many pompous adults in the course of her schooling, I can tell you that this approach is highly appreciated.

I wish someone had spoken to me like this when I was a kid. Which reminds me that there are millions of schoolchildren right here who need this kind of encouragement and inspiration and are not getting it. It’s tougher on them. This is not America.

For our second LitWit challenge, I want you to write me your back-to-school speech for Filipino schoolchildren. You are the President and it is your job to inspire the children in these troubled times. (I wonder if there is any age in history that did not consider itself a troubled time.) Tell them why education is important and why they should study hard even if it often seems pointless.

Remember: simple, effective language. At the first hint of pompousness you’re out. 500-word maximum—the word count will be enforced this time. Entries will be accepted until 11:59 pm on Thursday, September 17, 2009.

The winner will receive this: a set of Nancy Drew books, hardcover, mysteries number 59 to 62. It’s our tribute to US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, a Nancy Drew fan. Read them yourself, or give them to a kid. Get to work. The weekly JessicaRulesTheUniverse LitWit Challenge is brought to you by National Bookstore.

Avignon, September 2009. Photo by Ricky Villabona.

The winners of our first LitWit challenge brought to you by National Bookstore are. . .

First, the criteria. There were none, but the default setting is always ‘Clever’. This can be tricky because if the attempt at cleverness is heavy-handed (masyadong pinag-isipan) the result can be pretentious and annoying.

In judging the entries I found myself turning away from the correct but safe choices: projects involving Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Hugh Laurie, Ang Lee, Hughs Grant and Dancy (The Jane Austen Book Club), and James McAvoy (Becoming Jane). True the option of casting Austen “regulars” was allowed, but surely the pool is too vast. For the Filipino versions the formula seems to be Romantic Comedy=Jose Javier Reyes+Star Cinema.

On the other hand I am glad that our readers know their Filipino screenwriters, and I agree that Michiko Yamamoto is very well suited to adapt Jane for our times. I much enjoyed the entries which cast 80s stars in the lead roles—they got me to imagining D’Pride, D’Prejudice, D’Punks with Leni Santos and Rey ‘PJ’ Abellana, or even earlier, Pride and Prejudice at Burong Talangka with Nora Aunor and Cocoy Laurel.

Naturally I was delighted to read the ATP Tour version, the US Open being on the brain these days, as well as the West Wing and TV anchor versions (With one minor quibble. We’d marry Jon Stewart tomorrow, but he is too short for Darcy; Darcy should be able to look down his nose at everyone). In the end I went for the entries that challenge the notion that P&P is antiquated, conservative (may pagka-manang), a relic of colonialism, and a subject to be treated with extreme respect and respectability in Oscar-baiting “prestige projects”. One of my favorite Austen adaptations is Clueless.

Our winners are: Pride and Prejudice Ng Mga Elitista, directed by Carlo J. Caparas and produced by Golden Lion Films, PCSO, and Royal Era Entertainment by LigayaP, and Orgullo y Prejuicio (Hombre, Mi Amor) directed by Joey Gosiengfiao by Aimee Moonlight (Joey Reyes is involved, but it’s. . .different).

Apart from assembling a likely cast, LigayaP evoked the Kafkaesque process of getting a movie made these days, and spared me several weeks of catching up on the showbiz talk shows. Aimee Moonlight’s gender bender includes the Filipinized setting, situation, and character names (Fitzcarraldo Darcillano—Hola, Darci! made coffee shoot out of my nose).

Also, the winning entries are hilarious. LigayaP will receive the Winchester edition of Pride and Prejudice, and Aimee Moonlight the Sense and Sensibility. (You could swap.) Winners, please post your Philippine addresses in Comments (they will not be published) and we’ll see how to get your prizes to you. Congratulations! Thanks again to the lovely people of National Bookstore for supporting the weekly LitWit challenge.

The next LitWit challenge begins tomorrow.

He stares into the clear beaker of poison until the memory of Chris has come and gone. He dips the apple into the brew and returns it to its place on the table. It will take only a few minutes. He doesn’t know if he should lie or fall. . .

When the time comes, as it seems to, flowing by until he is carried on its relentless current, he sits on the edge of the metal-framed bed, reaches for the apple, and breaks the pretty red skin with his teeth.

– from A Madman Dreams of Turing Machines, a novel by Janna Levin based on the lives of Alan Turing and Kurt Godel

British PM’s apology to codebreaker Alan Turing: we were inhumane.
in the Guardian, 11 Sept 09

Gordon Brown issued an unequivocal apology last night on behalf of the government to Alan Turing, the second world war codebreaker who took his own life 55 years ago after being sentenced to chemical castration for being gay.

He was given experimental chemical castration as a “treatment”. His criminal record meant he was unable to continue his work for the UK Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) because his security privileges were withdrawn. Two years later he killed himself, aged 41. . .

Two cats in Little Tokyo, 7 September 2009.

An hour later, as we walked around yet another condominium model unit, it occurred to me that apartment hunting in metropolitan Manila could become your social life. In places like New York it already is. You’d get to see a new place each weekend, decorate it in your head, imagine living there, and create an entire alternative existence for yourself. It would be a literary exercise, and it would take you out of the mall biosphere. Unless the condo happens to be on top of a mall.

Escape From the Mall in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Star.

That’s our friend Bailey on the new Globe billboard. He’s adorable! But Bailey has been doing those ads for years.

Here he is sniffing a suspicious character. Maybe now he can get a date. The previous set-ups didn’t really work out. Does anyone know a nice Labrador bitch?