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Walking out into the rain this afternoon Ernie and I realized to our horror that we had matching bright orange umbrellas. Ernie had bought his at a 7-11. I had accidentally stolen the orange umbrella in Paris from my friend’s husband. Accidentally because I thought I’d left it at a museum but when I got back to Manila it was in my luggage, and I would’ve returned it on my next trip except that my friend got a divorce two years after that and I do not acknowledge existence of the ex-husband and anyway he probably considers the umbrella part of their divorce settlement. I know, stupid story.

So Ernie and I had the same umbrella. It’s bad enough that we have the exact same khaki backpack, but having the exact same orange umbrella makes us feel like back-up singers in a music video no one wants to see. We have the exact same khaki backpack because Bert bought one and then told Ernie it was so Ernie, so Ernie bought one too, and then Bert decided it was more me than him so he gave me his backpack, but Ernie and I don’t really mind having identical knapsacks because he carries his like a lady’s handbag and I use mine like a desert explorer’s backpack. I know, stupid story.

“Take this umbrella, I’m getting another one,” Ernie said. We went to a bookstore, where he got this very nice literary umbrella with the faces of Jane Austen, Virginia Woolf, and other famous authors on it.

He was very happy with his purchase until we dropped by another store and I heard him gasp. “It’s Alma Moreno’s umbrella in Manila By Night by Ishmael Bernal!” he cried, twirling a transparent plastic bubble umbrella.

“A Bernal hommage!” I said. “I want one, too.” It even comes with directions: “Pop out umbrella and put your head inside. Enjoy the rain.”

So in the end we have five umbrellas between us, and we still have matching umbrellas. I know, stupid story. Good thing someone somewhere is always in need of an umbrella.

The winners of the LitWit Challenge: Your Imaginary Date are kratienza for her succinct plan to ensnare Fitzwilliam Darcy using reverse psychology, and parlo lover for his designs on Julio Madiaga of Sa Mga Kuko Ng Liwanag involving sociology, literary criticism, and gender studies.

The winners of the LitWit Special Apocalypse Edition: Rescue Mission!!! Screenwriting Challenge are william_tan_see and behindhiddendoors. May you find producers for your screenplays.

Congratulations! Winners, you can pick up your prizes at National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell. Go to the Customer Service counter, give your full name, and tell the staff you’re claiming a book from this blog.

In this week’s LitWit Challenge you are called upon to protect literature itself.

Ray Bradbury’s novel Fahrenheit 451 is set in a near future (or maybe the present) in which books are outlawed and condemned to burn along with the houses that contain them. A group of rebels have taken it upon themselves to preserve these books—by becoming them. Each of them memorizes a book in the hope that someday, the books can be consigned to paper and read once again.

“How many of you are there?”

“Thousands on the roads, the abandoned railtracks, tonight, bums on the outside, libraries inside. It wasn’t planned, at first. Each man had a book he wanted to remember, and did. Then, over a period of twenty years or so, we met each other, traveling, and got the loose network together and set out a plan. The most important single thing we had to pound into ourselves is that we were not important, we mustn’t be pedants; we were not to feel superior to anyone else in the world. We’re nothing more than dust jackets for books, of no significance otherwise.”

Now imagine a present in which floods engulf cities and libraries end up underwater. It’s not science-fiction anymore, is it?

My question is: Which book will you be?

The book must be at least 100 pages (of text) long. You cannot answer The Great Gatsby, The Catcher In The Rye, Macbeth, The Stranger by Camus, or A Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh (We dibs those). If you pick a fairy tale, it’ll have to be the whole collection, i.e. The Complete Brothers Grimm. It’s one book per person, and if the book you want has been posted by someone else, you’ll have to pick a different book. (If a book is chosen more than once, the post with the earliest time stamp is the one eligible for a prize. So post a different book.)

Entries will be accepted until 11.59 pm of Friday, 9 October 2009. Oh right, the prize. The three winners will receive. . .

The 50th anniversary edition of Fahrenheit 451.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by National Bookstore.

Let’s be careful out there.

This may be useful: How to restore flood-soaked books.

The challenge: Write me a short script for Mission: Rescue Christine Reyes! Starring Christine Reyes, Richard Gutierrez, and manymany unwilling extras.

The deadline: In 24 hours! (That’s Friday, 2 October 2009, 1500hrs.) Obviously not enough time for a full screenplay, so a short treatment describing key scenes will do.

The prize:

Two winners receive The Monster of Florence by Douglas Preston with Mario Spezi, the true story of the hunt for a serial killer.

Get to work! The prizes for the LitWit Challenge are brought to you by the wonderful people of National Bookstore. They have nothing to do with the rules of the game, which are my responsibility entirely.

This might help: Slate’s Interactive Dan Brown Plot Generator. Pick a city and a sect, voila! Sects and the City.

Update, 2 October, 1619 hrs. The Rescue Mission screenwriting challenge is now closed. Four contestants managed to meet the deadline (The last was 9 minutes late, but that’s okay because I said 24 hours and the post appeared at 1524). Only they are eligible for the prizes.

However, since this is an emergency, readers who submit entries in the next 24 hours become eligible for a consolation prize (to be announced). Screenwriters, to your boats!

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Aimee Moonlight, your prize for the first LitWit challenge was returned by the courier, apparently they couldn’t locate your address. I hope it is not underwater. You can claim your copy of Sense and Sensibility any day after Monday at Wild Ginger in the basement of Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. They’re open from 11 am to 8 pm. Your prize is still in its Air 21 package in case you want to take it up with the courier.