You don’t cast your big-budget all-star biopic in your heads?
No Anna Karinas amongst us?
Such modesty. Only nine readers entered last week’s LitWit Challenge: Cast Yourself. That can’t be right. You mean you don’t sit around having conversations like this?
– Who’s more Audrey Hepburn, her or me?
– (Long intake of breath.) I think you. She’s more Grace Kelly.
I don’t believe it. So I’m extending the LitWit Challenge deadline to tomorrow, Tuesday, 17 November, 11.59 pm. You could win a Tintin book for sharing your grand delusion.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
November 16th, 2009 at 05:26
Zac Efron (30 pounds overweight for the first part of the film then loses it + a really short hair-cut and glasses) for that “You say I’m good looking, but I don’t really see it” attitude of his. I’ve been often told that I’m good-looking, but after losing so much weight and even more compliments, I’ve failed to see the reason why they say so. ALSO, like Zac, I can sing a bit, but I’m not the best singer. He’s also laid-back and seems like an optimistic guy. I think He can do my character justice. Plus, what guy doesn’t wanna be compared to Zac Efron? (wishful thinking)
November 16th, 2009 at 10:53
Hilary Swank…she could play any role why not as Filipino (with Chinese blood) teaching Koreans English for a change? And she must do it in Filipino/ Ilokano (cause I am from Baguio) except of course when she is teaching the Koreans.
November 16th, 2009 at 12:18
I’d probably cast myself as Cate Blanchett while she’s channeling Bob Dylan. Of all those who played Bob Dylan, I find her more convincing.
I’m no Dylan, but since I’ve smoked, drank, tasted meth, and been called a Tambourine Man for some time (only because I’ve constantly supplied clean bong water).
I would’ve written Cate Blanchett while she’s channeling Queen Elizabeth, but that would’ve been too draggy.
November 16th, 2009 at 15:06
The best actor who can play me would be silent-film-siren-turned-bitter-old-lady Louise Brooks, because:
– unlike all actresses now, she’s curvy AND was one of the sexiest woman of her time.
– she wouldn’t have to research; my career is heading her way, as she had the talent and would’ve been a film legend the size of Chaplin but disappeared into oblivion (she is a legend now, but not until she was rediscovered by the French in the 70’s).
– she’s terribly insecure like me, once described herself as the ugliest person in a Hollywood party.
– she’s not a stranger to tragedy, doing all those G. W. Pabst movies. My life isn’t as tragic as those movies, but I’m bitter in some parts of it.
– like me, so stubborn that no boss could stop her.
– like me, she was hated by everyone, and is blacklisted in places where she could work (I’m paranoid enough to think that I’m pretty much blacklisted anywhere, but that’s an exaggeration).
– she had a beautiful voice but Hollywood wouldn’t use it. Like mine (haha).
– she earns big and loses all. In her words, “it just disappears.”
– I would like to think that I still have those legs.
(Hard decision between Steve Buscemi and Lulu. But Steve doesn’t have the legs.)
November 16th, 2009 at 15:07
*women. Argh.
November 16th, 2009 at 15:26
Tilda OMFG Swinton.
Because if she can be a sexless angel in her film and then a fierce evil witch on the next, I bet playing a 23-year old Asian kid is just easy breezy for her. And PS, I am a boy. Penis or no penis, she’ll do fine. Because this woman can do no wrong. Heck, she can even play everyone in my life and we’ll still buy it.
November 16th, 2009 at 15:45
My life is just one potential blockbuster ready for the green light. So who would play me? It’d be a toss up between Luise Rainer and Marlene Deitrich. I loved Luise Rainer in “The Good Earth” and I practically cried when Olan was on her deathbed. Marlene Deitrich because she was just gutsy when she turned down the Nazis. Plus, there are times when I just picture myself in my own personal “Morocco”. Now since this is my production, they’d both play me.
November 16th, 2009 at 16:18
siguro si Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange). tapos nanay ko si Meryl streep, atribida.
November 16th, 2009 at 17:37
maybe lea michele or lea salonga because i want my life story to be told in a musical. libre naman mangarap so dapat sa movie ko magaling ako kumanta.
November 16th, 2009 at 20:28
Hugh Laurie would play me best! Since he can fake an American accent and get away with it,his character as House would make it easier for him to see my dark disillusionment with the world and with people as they are. Especially my views (need you ask?) about the government. Besides, his Emmy is long overdue. I think this is his chance.
November 16th, 2009 at 22:01
Ronnie Lazaro because he will recreate his character in Anino by Raymond Red.
November 16th, 2009 at 22:26
Definitely Zhang Ziyi. She’s pretty and can act in martial arts-y films like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and comedy films like “So Perfect”. And someone said I remind her of Zhang. So there.
And oh yeah, I’ve mastered her accent in “Memoirs of a Geisha”.
Psst…I’ve had conversations like that (what you’ve mentioned). But they’re mostly in my head. Weird.
November 16th, 2009 at 23:09
No less than THE Helena Bonham Carter would play me in my big-budgeted biopic. She can do James (I’m a character straight out of a James novel), be weird and wonderful (like me) in Fight Club, steal a scene from children in the Harry Potter series, and channel lament and lunacy in Sweeney Todd. Plus, playing the Red Queen and Enid Blyton would make her an unforgettable actress among children. And I believe my nephews and nieces would agree that I am quite an unforgettable aunt.
My delusions would be rendered in animation (with animation to be done by Studio Ghibli), while my less animating real life would be done in live action to be directed by Wong Kar-Wai (because I it want to look profound, but incomprehensible even to those who claim to understand me and people would be coming out of the cinemas saying, “aaah, I think I got it. Or her.â€)
Soundtrack would consist of songs from Queen, The Libertines, The Cure, and The Smiths.
My movie would be called “Whatever People Say I Am That Is What I Am Notâ€, the title of the Arctic Monkeys’ first album. I love them, too, but I don’t think their music would my biopic.
And since I’ve already gone full-throttle in my megalomania, I’d be writing the script myself.
November 17th, 2009 at 05:50
The best person to play me in my biopic would have to be – and she’s not even an actress yet – Lady Gaga. Even if I’m male, and she’s female, we both give off the same hermaphrodite vibe. She’s considered weird by many, just like myself. And no one, not even my parents, can read my p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face.
November 17th, 2009 at 16:34
Scarlett Johannson. Dahil ambisyosa talaga ko. Yun lang.
November 17th, 2009 at 18:28
I answered this kind of question on a facebook quiz. I want Ellen Page
to portray my life if it were to become a movie. Why? Because I think Ellen
Page could pass on to play as a twenty something late bloomer who tries not
to be pressured by this glamor-crazy society.Page is somewhat boyish and
I think she could be me, I’m not a lesbian but I live in a traditional, strict
and conventional family set-up pretending that everything is okay even though
I grew up not knowing who my real father is. Their idea of a real job is
working from 9 to 5pm, wearing a uniform and slaving in a makati office.
Not being rebellious, I turned out to be not what my mom wants me to be,
going to the office in rugged casual clothing and teaching English to Koreans
in Ortigas. In the office, out of about less than one hundred employees
(excluding the Korean managers,3 are straight males and three are homosexuals.
So I am most pressured with officemates who are make-up/clothes/ boycrazy.
I am not intimidated though. However, some of my concern and sincere close friends
and cousins would often advice me to look HUMAN (i.e. become a real lady
with all the pretty dresses and skirts and make-up) and so that I could attract
the opposite sex. That leaves me in a crisis…identity? NOT! but I just
want to know how this would end up without the cliches.
November 17th, 2009 at 21:25
Miley Cyrus. Just because anything with her seems to automatically get a lot of attention. I want everyone to talk about the movie about me; otherwise, what’s the point? Plus, Disney kids = kaching!
Now if only there was a way to prevent her from making MY biopic about her…
November 18th, 2009 at 07:56
if I can still join, it should be Cogie Domingo to portray me. I think he’s my alter ego, he has enough talent to flawlessly execute my OAness sometimes, well most of the time. I had this one time I cried over financial inability to buy a Nike shoes, Cogie can easily do that, like holding back the tears but they keep on coming….