JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
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Archive for April, 2010

A history of plagiarism: MVP speeches since (corrected) 2007

April 13, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events 26 Comments →

From a note on Katrina Stuart Santiago’s fb page:

plagiarized speeches since 2007

“i used to tell my students that if i catch them plagiarizing one paper, it would put into question all other papers they had written before it. whoever MVP’s speechwriters are, they’ve been giving him plagiarized speeches since 1997.”

At the opening of the new Ateneo library, 2010
MVP speech
Original

Post-Ondoy speech on Corporate Social Responsibility, 2009
MVP speech
Original 1
Original 2
Original 3

Barack Obama: “From the streets of New Orleans to the Mississippi Coast, folks are beginning the next chapter in their American stories. And together, we can ensure that the legacy of a terrible storm is a country that is safer and more prepared for the challenges that may come.”

Manny Pangilinan: “From the streets of Marikina to the flooded plains of Pangasinan, Filipinos should write the next chapter in their stories. Together, we should ensure that the legacy of a terrible storm is a country that is safer, and better prepared, for the tragedies that may come. That’s what CSR is all about.”

Ah! Corporate social responsibility is about ripping off your lines from the President of the United States.

Commencement speech at Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan, 1997 2007
MVP speech
Original 1
Original 2
Original 3

Ateneo, don’t you dare delete these speeches from your website.

Given their history of moral relativism, could those of you with free time save the complete texts?

Who are these homunculi who write Manny Pangilinan’s speeches?

Nailed by Google!

Going by the principle of “Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me”, what about 13 at least three years’ worth?!? (Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been stealing; the point is, You Steal.)

Today in weird

April 13, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Pointless Anecdotes, The Bizarre 5 Comments →


Satan Comes to the Gates of Hell, one of William Blake’s illustrations to Milton’s Paradise Lost

Yesterday I got this text message from Maria Consolata, aka Maricon.

“My taxi driver is sharing his experiences. . .as a Satanist. Converted back to Christianity. He is now reciting the reverse Ten Commandments. Sounds like a tape recorder.”

I asked Maricon to tape the driver’s recitation on his phone, which he did. We will have lunch today so he can give me the details and I can listen to the recording. The full report later.

This is why I resist the urge to chat up the cabbie. Too much information. Inevitably the conversation veers towards politics or religion and you really don’t want to say anything that will cause the cabbie to drive into a lamppost. Any trip is more comfortable if you remain unaware of the fact that at some point in his life the driver worshipped Satan and his favorite song was “Hotel California”.

* * * * *

Listened to the recording: It’s insane! The ex-Satanist does this rapid-fire stream of consciousness monologue for ten minutes. His nickname for Satan is “Taning”—apparently many local Christians don’t want to say the full name for fear of invoking the bad one. The cabbie recounts how his mother prayed for his conversion by walking on her knees in Quiapo Church for nine Fridays in a row. On the ninth Friday he claims that he spontaneously cried, “Gusto ko nang magbago!” (I want to change!) but it was a difficult process—he’d resolve not to go to the devil worship services, and then find himself there. Freaky stuff, will need time to transcribe it.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge 2.7: Time travel edition

April 12, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Contest 20 Comments →

This week we’re giving away a pair of thrillers: Zugzwang by Ronan Bennett—murder, intrigue, psychoanalysis and romance in St. Petersburg in 1914, and The Foreign Correspondent by Alan Furst—war, espionage, resistance and romance in Paris in 1938.

You know how everyone complains that they were born in the wrong era in the wrong country, that if only they’d been a feudal lord in Japan during the Ashikaga Shogunate or jumping into the fountain at the Plaza with Scott and Zelda in 1924, they would’ve been happy? Alright, let’s assume that some great displacement has occurred, and you have been torn away from your proper time and place. When and where do you belong, and what would you be doing?

Self-delusion is most welcome. Post your answers in Comments by 11.59pm on Saturday, 17 April 2010.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Consult the Koosi Oracle

April 12, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 46 Comments →

Koosi is 11 today! Happy Birthday, Koosalagoopagoop Galadriel Ivanisevic-O’Brien!

On the occasion of the 11th anniversary of her arrival in our household, Mighty Goddess Koosi deigns to answer your questions. I am her scribe.

Post your questions in Comments and I shall put them to the Koosi Oracle.

Avert your eyes! Or she will come down and scratch them out.

The answers to your questions are in Comments.


Photo: Koosi reenacts our fateful meeting in 1999. She was rolling in a pool of grease in the parking lot of the Today office. I put her in a plastic bag and brought her home.

Bangkok, 11 April 2010

April 12, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Places, Traveling 2 Comments →

Ghost town photo by Ricky Villabona.

Hope all our Bangkok-based agents of world domination are safe.

The winner of LitWit Challenge 2.6: Letters to your ex iiisss…

April 11, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Contest 3 Comments →


The Raft of the Medusa by Gericault, or Composite painting of your ex files.

Jeromeshuny!

Your entry was chosen by our esteemed guest judge, Varanus Bitatawa, who waded through the minefields of your past relationships at great risk to his sanity and now needs a drink very badly. Please post your full name in Comments (It won’t be published) so you can claim your prize.

Thanks to everyone who revealed their grisly tales of liaisons gone kaput. LitWit Challenge 2.7 is coming up.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our lovely friends at National Bookstore.

* * * * *

Jeromeshuny, I’m sending your prizes to National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati tomorrow, Wednesday. You can have them picked up any time starting Thursday. Tell your cousin the package will be in both your names, at the Customer Service counter.