JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
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Archive for May, 2010

Great as evening bags

May 27, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Design 4 Comments →

100+ Vintage Lunchboxes

Makes you wish you’d kept your Charlie’s Angels lunchbox, doesn’t it. They smelled funny, though, like Chocolait and tuna sandwiches.

Prince of Taroush

May 26, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Contest, Design, Movies No Comments →

Look! A bunch of entries to our Prince of Persia costume design competition arrived in time to beat the deadline!

Contestant # 5. Prince of Persia meets Viking marauder.

Designer: Avatar Stevie.

I know what that helmet is called, it’ll come to me later.

Contestant #6. Prince of Persia as Jedi Knight

Designer: Avatar Stevie.

Contestant # 7. Prince of Purrsia

Designer: Catarina

I have that headdress.

Contestant # 8. Prince of Kinareer

Designer: Rafael

Drapery!

Contestant # 9. Daston, Prince of Statements

Designer: Mikel

Designer’s statement: “My color scheme was black, gold, and white because I think they’re classy. Stiff collars that stand up with black and gold ornaments leading to low V neckline so Jake can flaunt his chest more. Decided to do the lining details in diagonal/slanting because the current costume, with its horizontal lining details and ornaments, makes Jake look thicker and shorter. Turned the red loincloth into white to comply with my color scheme. The fabric has folds which flow down the hips. Added a hooded sleeveless robe which, together with the white loincloth, has folds in the fabric and should billow beautifully when the desert winds blow. Knee-high boots with leather straps and gold fasteners for desert trekking. Forearm and shoulder armor for protection during combat. Added a staff so that Jake would have more in his weaponry, apart from the dagger and his blades (and his killer looks). And shaved head, for fun. I wanted an androgynous prince.. a mixture of hard and soft details.. or something like that. I hope that didn’t sound too thought-out.”

No it does not, I love a complete statement.

You still have an hour to email your entry to urban.matthias@gmail.com for a shot at the time-stopping watch. Don’t worry, we’ll go by the time stamp. (Sonofabitch! Election joke. At least he didn’t say Sanamabeets! And the grammar is perfect.)

Last-minute submissions.

Contestant # 10. Aswang Prince.

Designer: Bongklok Solas

Contestant # 11. Prince of Double-D Cups

Designer: Andrea

Koalas protest comparison to alleged election fraud whistle-blower

May 26, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events 3 Comments →


Photo: Koala, Phillip Island, Australia, May 2010.

What kind of guy wears a jockstrap on his face?

Obviously, a guy who looks like a penis.

Emotional blackmail

May 26, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 6 Comments →

Mat the Cat: I would like a treat, please. (My cats are haughty but polite.)
Me: This is not a treat day. Your next treat is on Friday.
Mat: I would like one now.
Me: No, we don’t want you to get super-fat.
Mat: I am not fat, I am big-boned.
Me: This is not a negotiation. No treats till Friday.

Mat tries poor, pitiful expression (See photo).
Me: Your acting does not sway me.
Mat makes like he’s going to sleep. Moments later he starts wheezing as if he has asthma.
Me: Why are you wheezing?
Mat: Perhaps I am not feeling well.
Me: Are you trying to make me feel guilty?
Mat: Perhaps I am having trouble breathing.
Me: Oh, alright.

We go to the kitchen and I open a can of “Succulent Chicken”. Mat takes a couple of bites.
Mat: I do not like this flavor.
Me: Tough, we don’t have caviar at the moment, Majesty.

Mat abandons the treat and eats his kibble for breakfast. Then he takes a nap. He is no longer wheezing.
Me: You stopped wheezing.
Mat: I do not know what you are talking about. I am in perfect health.

TAFKAP of Persia

May 25, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Contest, Design, Movies 4 Comments →

Our fourth entry to the Prince of Persia costume design competition is The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Of Persia. The most important detail: “The super low-waisted tights!”

Designer: Issa Miyake

If this is what it sounds like when doves cry, they’re crying, “Fabulous!”

You have until noon tomorrow to submit your entry for a chance to win a time-stopping watch. Email your drawing to urban.matthias@gmail.com.

The Prince of Persia opens on Thursday.

The winner of LitWit Challenge 2.12: The birds and the bees is…

May 25, 2010 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Contest 1 Comment →

Entry #1: fullybellythesis! Congratulations!

The assignment was to explain where babies come from to a four-year-old. None of the entries discussed sex and reproduction in clear, unmistakable terms: we got fairies, angels, chicks, dancing, etc. So I’m giving the prize to the answer I found most amusing (It’s always a good idea to bring in the Iliad).

fullybellythesis, please post your full name in Comments (it won’t be published) and I’ll alert you when you can pick up your books. Thanks to everyone who joined the contest; you’ll win something eventually.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

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Fullybellythesis, you can pick up your books any time during mall hours at National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Apologies—portions of the hardcover books are water-damaged, but readable.