The Quadrennial Voodoo Experiment (Updated with the score!)
This is my voodoo doll. I only use it for World Cup finals. The last time I used it, Marco Materazzi said something to Zinedine Zidane, and whatever it was Zizou was so incensed he head-butted Materazzi, and Italy went on to win the World Cup.
Weird turning point, no? Almost as if . . .voodoo were involved.
It’s the day of the final, so out comes the doll. Whom should we hex, Spain or Holland? I’m taking requests.
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12 July 2010, 0240. Bernard-Henri texts: “Found myself in Instituto Cervantes for the game. I’m the only one here for the Oranje! I might be burned at the stake.”
That’s heresy on two counts! Heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by. . .three counts! Did you bring your queso de bola? Four counts!
0320. More yellow cards than a Noynoy rally, but still no score. I do not want to see a penalty shoot-out.
There is a total solar eclipse today. Going by Here Comes The Bride movie physics by Chris Martinez, if there is a total solar eclipse in a magnetic field and some Spanish and Dutch players collide, they will swap bodies. Hmmm David Villa is not himself today.
0420. For a hex to work I must feel a powerful dislike towards the hexee, and right now I dislike both teams. Urrgh. On to the existential hell of the penalty shoot-out. No wait, extra time.
Incidentally there is a much-repeated story that Albert Camus was the goalie of the Algerian football team. It is not true.
0458. A goal! Iniesta! Spain 1, Holland 0. I think I’ll have fabada for lunch. A late, late lunch.
0504. Cardinal Octopus, bring out. . .the comfy chair! Spain wins the World Cup for the first time ever! Vive de largo el pulpo! Good morning.
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Here’s my favorite post-match video: Iker Casillas is interviewed by his girlfriend, TV presenter Sara Carbonero.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
July 11th, 2010 at 08:15
Please can we hex Holland. Thank you.
I am for anything and anyone spanish because of Alejandro Sanz. He does not have a very good voice, but the poetry on his songs and his very handsome face more than made up for it.
And besides the spanish team has already that very powerful prayer! :-)
July 11th, 2010 at 09:00
Hexing unnecessary. Spain’s going to win the 2010 World Cup. Just let Voodoo enjoy watching the finals :)
July 11th, 2010 at 10:57
please hex Villa and the rest of the Spanish team…
July 11th, 2010 at 10:59
Hmm… the people who gave us “leche flan”? or the people which annually rains us with “queso-de-bola”?
Netherlands! Netherlands! Hex Netherlands! If I ever saw another Marca Pina Queso de Bola…. hehe
On the other hand both would probably think of chocolate-biscuits when hearing about us.
http://www.filipinos.com/es/productos
http://www.hollandsbest.com/chocolate/_popup/verkade_filipinos_24082_wit.htm
July 11th, 2010 at 13:08
Viva Espana! Down with the Dutch!
July 11th, 2010 at 18:48
Netherlands.
They don’t let people move to their country if they don’t speak Dutch to begin with–as in you have to take a language exam at the Dutch embassy in your country. Boo!
July 11th, 2010 at 19:10
Spain, please.
July 11th, 2010 at 21:22
¡¡¡Viva España!!!
July 12th, 2010 at 01:09
Spain!
And haha, merci for hexing France last time!
July 12th, 2010 at 03:18
Spain.. :)
They’re on a winning streak.. time to let some least likely underdog-like people to win.
July 12th, 2010 at 09:00
pwedeng kulamin si sergio para magkagusto sa akin?
July 12th, 2010 at 12:58
Ooohhh. Why did I read this just now? =(
Can you please put a hex on Howard Webb, even if it’s after the World Cup already?
July 13th, 2010 at 09:10
darn, sara is one lucky girl.