JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Their chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise. Their two chief weapons are fear and surprise and a ruthless efficiency. Their three chief weapons are fear and surprise and a ruthless efficiency and to pass pass pass the ball until the opponent doesn’t know where it is. . .Amongst their weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, a ruthless efficiency, pass pass pass and those nice red uniforms…I’ll come in again.

From RayVi: the Our Father.

Padre nuestro quien estás en SUDÁFRICA. Santificado sea Iker Casillas. Venga a nosotros el 6º PARTIDO. Hágase tu voluntad tanto en el CUERPO TÉCNICO como en los JUGADORES. Danos hoy nuestro GOL de cada día. Perdona a nuestros DEFENSAS, como también nosotros perdonamos al ÁRBITRO que nos … ofende. No nos dejes caer al borde de la eliminación y LLÉVANOS a la FINAL, AMEN.

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Listen to this: A bombastic re-crafting of Technotronic’s club classic Pump Up The Jam in Spanish by the electro-pop band Bomba Estereo, in Levi’s Pioneer Sessions.

From Earnest Zabala: Grey Matter Publishing launches three blog-originated titles—The Chronicles of E, The Wet Book: Stories from the Bathhouse, and Dear Migs: Letters to Manila Gay Guy—tomorrow at theRoom.

Chronicle of E is an unblinking tale of hope and redemption—a memoir of E’s substance addiction, brief foray into prostitution, and acceptance of his HIV status.

The Wet Book: Stories from the Bathhouse is an insider’s account of bathhouse shenanigans as narrated by ad executive by day, hygiene establishment patron and comic by night McVie.

Dear Migs: Letters to Manila Gay Guy is culled from the popular blog’s community of the brokenhearted, the confused and the Margarita Holmes-hopefuls. Migs’ blog has been generating, on average, more than 40,000 daily views from all over the world, making it one of the most-read blogs in the Philippines.

The three books will be launched simultaneously at theRoom, G/F Unit 8802, Crowne 88 Condominium, 88 Panay Ave, Quezon City tomorrow, July 10, 2010, from 4 to 7 PM. The authors will grant interviews and sign copies of their books.

How to get there:

Best to go in broad daylight when the ghouls are sleeping.

A walk in Highgate Cemetery. In Emotional Weather Report, today in the Star.

Note the undead theme in this week’s posts. It was not intentional, I assure you.

Zuma/Newscom

In Forbes magazine:

#4 Jaime Zobel de Ayala
NET WORTH: $1.4 billion
AGE: 76
MARITAL STATUS: Married, 7 children

His Ayala Corp., Philippines’ largest conglomerate by market capitalization, plans to invest $1.6 billion in various projects, including power generation. Interests include real estate, hotels, financial services, telecom, utilities. While he is chairman emeritus, family stake held by his 7 children. Jaime II, eldest, is chairman, son Fernando vice chairman and president.

He looks young for a 76-year-old, and the photograph offers a clear explanation: He’s a vampire! Run!

(The “official” explanation is that the photo is not of Jaime Zobel but of Jaime Augusto Zobel. A common mix-up that would’ve been averted if the son had been called Vlad, Lestat, Angelus, or Spike (but please, not Edward). Riiiight.)

What did I just say about keeping a savings account for 200 years?

In all these years I’ve never seen him pass in front of a reflective surface.

Giles! The Mr Pointy!

Note: Nobody said the fangs weren’t cute. I have not been banned from Greenbelt. Yet.

Like a complete nitwit I forgot to take photos so I got this from his Facebook page. Adel Tamano, former opposition spokesperson, cosmetic surgery and dermatological clinic endorser, and senatorial candidate.

At the Philippine Star Lifestyle Journalism Awards I saw Adel Tamano, who recently joined the Star as a columnist.

“Your mom was my teacher at JASMS,” he said.

“Yes, I remember you. What a good-looking child you were. I’m so disappointed.”

This is an obvious joke so everybody laughs.

“What are you going to do with your life?” I asked. Which is the question my mom would’ve asked him.

“I have an offer to do television,” he said, “And another for a project in which we buy schools and develop them.”

“If you plan on pursuing a political career, being on television would be useful” is my cynical advice.

“But the school project would be more satisfying,” he said.

Then we talked about his brothers, because throughout high school and college there was always a Tamano in class.