JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Tuesday, lunchtime, just after the official beginning of the Nadal era (which actually started in May).

– Did you watch the US Open final?
– I watched the first two sets while I was cleaning my house. When Nadal won the third set I knew that was it, he wouldn’t let up from there.
– I didn’t watch a US Open final live telecast for the first time since, oh, 1997. When Patrick Rafter won. Haay, Patrick Rafter circa 1997. Everyone must serve and volley. I’m all for electrifying the baselines and using cattle prods to force the players to rush the net. It increases the probability that they will hit each other.

– Too bad for Djokovic, but Nadal raised his game and he couldn’t match him. He lost his temper and pounded his racquet. Luke Jensen pointed out that Federer and Nadal have the composure of champions, they don’t lose it.
– Luke Jensen dispenses wisdom now? I remember the surfer Jensen twins. I’m old. True, it does not help the Djoker that his parents are wearing T-shirts with his face on them.
– He was asked about the T-shirts. He said he wouldn’t wear them himself but what can he do, that’s his dad.
– Tacky tacky tacky. Very, uh, Eurovision.
– Ever watch Eastern European porn? Very tacky. The wallpaper, the decor. Ugh. (Yes, my friends notice the wallpaper in porno movies.)
– Yeah, what’s Russian porn like?
– Smutty. They’re all in grotty dorm rooms or something.
– My friend lent me the video of the making of the Dieux du Stade calendar, but it was the wrong disc. It was all gay porn. As opposed to straight guys in homoerotic poses.

– So we’re officially in the Nadal era. Remember how people were complaining at the height of the Federer era that it was boring? Because Roger was winning everything? Now they will see what boring really is. Roger had Rafa in his way, Rafa has no one to check him. Except maybe Djoker. Andy Murray just doesn’t have it. Or Robin Soderling. Rafa’s only obstacle is his own body because I still think he’s going to break in half.
– Today it’s Nadal, Federer, and Everyone else. When Roger retires it’ll be Nadal and Everyone else. I don’t think Roger is going to win any more slams.
– I think he will, as long as he’s still interested. He could probably get a couple of lucky breaks: someone gets Rafa after he eats a bad sandwich, clearing the path. I don’t see any of the young guys rising to their level.
– Rafa has 9 slams at age 24. He could chase Roger’s 16.
– If the knees hold. Whatever happened to Juan Martin del Potpot?
– Wrist injury. Long recovery time. Small bones.
– Yikes, there is No One else. Tennis is in trouble.
– All the traditional tennis powers are not doing well. The US, Australia, nada.
– On the other hand there are 10,000 Russians and Eastern Europeans rocketing to the top then vanishing. Especially the women.
– When Roger and Serena retire, tennis will die.

– I miss Marat. Marat was my replacement for Goran and now I have no replacement for Marat.
Reading Dostoevsky is not enough. The Karamazovs are crazy, but they have no racquets. Hey Janko Tipsarevic reads Dostoevsky.
– Ewww I saw Tipsarevic’s feet. Disgusting.
– They did a closeup on TV?
– No, at a tournament. I had binoculars and when he changed his shoes. . .I was eating a mango and I nearly threw up.
– Blisters?
– No.
– Luya? (Ginger toes)
– No, they didn’t even look like feet anymore. They were like the bound feet of ancient Chinese women.
– Who else’s feet did you see?
– Rafa’s. They were okay, just blistered. And Roger’s.
– What did Roger’s feet look like?
– Beautiful.
Like the hair, perfect.