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Dinner at Ambeth’s is always an intellectually satisfying experience. One picks up so many fascinating bits of information—most of it useless, but fun to repeat. There was the time we spent hours poring over a scholarly dictionary in Pilipino, looking for the definitions of common obscenities. Tonight’s discussion leaned towards the esoteric.

– In Thai the word for “ambassador” is khantoot.
– What’s the term for highest-ranking ambassador then?
– We went to a dinner where a delicious catfish dish was served, and when I referred to it as “hito” our host said, “Sssh! Don’t say that! Say “heto” instead.” Over there “hito” is genitalia.
– When I was in New Zealand our guide pointed to a blackbird and said, “That’s a common bird in these parts. It’s called pukeko.” I told him, “Never ever say that word in the Philippines.”
– Then what happened?
– He brought us to a town called Te Puke.
– New Zealand’s beautiful. In Tauranga they showed us some Maori games. “This is a titi torea. It is a long stick. It requires hand-to-eye coordination.”
– How do you keep from bursting into laughter?
– You choke it back up your nose.
– That’s probably why you have nasal polyps.