JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

On Thursday the Philippine Volcanoes national men’s 7s rugby team flies to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia to compete in the Borneo 7s rugby tournament. Last year the newest, fastest-rising team in Asia shocked the established rugby powers with a runner-up finish in the Plate final (6th overall in a field of 12). This year they intend to do better—and we’ll be watching them every second, Live.

JessicaRulestheUniverse.com will cover the Philippine Volcanoes’ excellent adventure in Borneo so thoroughly, you’ll be begging us to stop. With game reports, interviews, guest bloggers, live chats, food reviews, tourism features, Filipino language lessons and more information about the team than you could possibly need.

And because we’re serious about our reportage, we’re doing video.

Make sure you have constant broadband access from 28 October to 1 November, 2010.

This exclusive coverage of the Philippine Volcanoes at the Borneo 7s is brought to you by Globe Telecom.

Tell them, Juana Change.

(Note to my readers: Since you won’t cough up 300 little reading pledges I guess you don’t want to see jocks reading books in the altogether. Enjoy the video! It has matrons in it.)

Budj alerted us to a CSI episode in which Langston refers to a monster out of Philippine mythology.

In the first place it’s pronounced asWANG, not ASSwang. At least he didn’t attempt “manananggal”.

I learned my Philippine mythology not from my folks, other kids, or yaya (Hala ka kung hindi mo uubusin yan, kukunin ka ng aswang), but from a copy of Maximo D. Ramos’s Creatures of Lower Philippine Mythology that I found lying around the house one day. Aswang and their ilk were called ‘viscera-eating monsters’. That book disappeared, or maybe my mom returned it to their school library. I’ve been looking for a copy forever.

All right, I’m a music snob. I look down on other people’s musical choices. When I’m in a restaurant and I hear music I don’t approve of, I ask the waiter to change the song, turn it down, or turn it off. If I meet someone who is humming an Air Supply or Celine Dion song with no visible irony, I know we will not be friends.

Contemporary R&B triggers my most curmudgeonly disdain. These musicians are not fit to do the laundry of Prince (or as my friend calls him, “The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, a.k.a Prince”). They have no wit, no verve, no funk in what passes for their souls. Most of them sound like this. “Ooh baby let’s have sex. Oooh sexsexsexsexsex.” They’re hacks. Prince is a genius.

I am silently judging you by your taste in music in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Philippine Star.

Bonus: Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan sing Simon & Garfunkel.

I give up. Here’s a Letts on Saunders sandwich. Write your own article and put it in Comments. You want to. Thanks, now I have more time to read Vassily Grossman.

Mat the Cat

Haha, you looked.