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Look, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin and the succeeding volumes are available at National Bookstore branches! Paperback, Php315 each.

The assignment is called “Something Sensational”. Our contestants’ understanding of “sensational” is “something horrible you would read about in a tabloid.”

There is a novel many of you may find interesting: American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

#7 angus25. The diary of a young man who just had a penile piercing and is worried that it’s infected. This first entry seems to have set the tone for the rest of the pieces, which are full of lurid sexual escapades involving minors and members of the clergy. The Yucch-meter wonders if these are the thoughts that occupy your minds on regular working days, or if these are holiday treats.

angus25: Hilarious! The protagonist sublimates his sexual anxiety into overeating. The recitation of dishes and the description of the ravenous narrator are particularly effective.

#8 Momelia. Diary of a gay man on the prowl. We are stumped by the phrase, “giving us the finger with his good eye”. The author seems to be going for shock value, but after the initial “Ay!” the sex seems rather cold and mechanical. Afterwards the narrator is more interested in criticizing his own technique than in rating the encounter. Or perhaps that is the point.

#10 lampayatot. This brief tale of a love affair with James Franco was written by Imelda Papin many years ago. We recall the neighbors’ maid singing “Lonis nang tayu’y magkakelala” while hanging the laundry out to dry.

#11 rice_cooker. A sexual fantasy involving the allegedly celibate, with a family breadwinner angle and a foot fetish. Eenteresting: narrator wishes she were socks. Reminds us of the recording in which Prince Charles wished he were a tampon.

#12 brewhuh23. It starts off as the diary of a girl having an affair, and then it casually drops little bombs in quick succession. Good timing. Can bees be giddy though?

#13 the chronicler of boredom. An associate at a law firm gets ahead through scheming, duplicity, and outright theft. Is this a documentary? Clearly the author knows his milieu and his characters, and the coda “I’m brilliant” is funny. We look forward to the expanded narrative in which the protagonist becomes chief justice or is indicted for racketeering.

#14 iceproof. We knew that someone would submit an entry that begins, “Dear Diary, I have AIDS.” We were right! Having been proven right, we did not feel obligated to read on. Besides, the instructions were to give the Yucch-meter “something sensational” to read. Somehow fatal illness does not seem to fall into that category.

#15 stellalehua. Ooh, the plot of Duplicity. We adore Clive Owen. Oh Clive, Clive, with your slightly battered look, chocolatey voice and badass vibe…where were we? The prose is solid and everything is correct but…the prose is solid and everything is correct, you know what we’re saying? There is no element of surprise. Perhaps if she were nuts.

#16 2Qt2BSTR8. Another one (See #14), except that the revelation is saved for the ending. The narrator is a prostitute but if his profession were not stated directly he might just as well be an accountant or a call center agent. Despite descriptions of reeking and oozing, this lacks the reek and ooze of authenticity.

#17 tortorra. Life at the ER during the holiday season. Sounds authentic. But not sensational.

#18 mjomesax. Day 1, in which the protagonist constantly, unknowingly victimizes his own family, is promising. And then this plotline is dropped in favor of less interesting bits designed to shock or gross out the reader–eating cockroaches, getting tongue caught in retainers, lizard poop. Zzzzz.

#19 behappybemary. The presentation with its biblical and mythological allusions and whatnot is clever and engaging. The events themselves are a snooze.

#20 Cacs. Weird, entertaining, we don’t believe the protagonist. Goes to all that trouble, for what. Go see Almodovar’s Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down.

#21 berries-in-mascarpone. This is not sensational, it does not try to be sensational, and it doesn’t have to. The quality of the writing, the choice of details, evocative descriptions and the narrator’s insights about her life lift it above the “Dear Diary” form. Good work.

#22 headset. The accursed video game. You know, like the accursed videotape. The “mysterious occurrences” described in this tale are too easy to explain. For something to qualify as a curse its manifestations must be extraordinary and scary.

#23 turmukoy. Someone is having holiday stress. His office “Kris Kringle” gives him a cheap gift. He never wins raffles. He does not win Best Costume at the Xmas party. Oh the humanity.

#24 january jam. The Yucch-meter is not amused by open attempts to ingratiate one’s self with the jury. The casual, punchline-type mention: Fine. A long paragraph of sucking up like a vacuum cleaner: Verboten. Also if Alanis Morrisette were wise she would know the difference between “ironic” and “a bummer”.

#25 dibee. A body-swapping story done right. We’ll say it again: You should be writing screenplays.

#26 pinakadalisay. How many abduction stories have we got? The angry Norman Bates-like narrator, the banality of his life, the casually-dropped clues building up to the denouement. . .the Yucch-meter is a little worried about you.

#27 oberstein. It’s about time someone submitted a killer librarian story.

The winners of LitWit Challenge 4.2 are berries-in-mascarpone and oberstein. Congratulations, you each get the pocket Moleskine Daily Diary 2011. Post your full names in Comments, and we’ll alert you when you can pick up your prizes at National Bookstore in Rockwell.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore. The next LitWit Challenge is coming up.

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berries-in-mascarpone, you can have your brother pick up your prize any day starting Wednesday, 5 January at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. The package will have his name on it. oberstein, upon your suggestion we will give your 2011 planner to Jon who will probably lose it but would appreciate the thought. Shall we send your love with it?