JessicarulestheUniverse | 2011

Archive for March, 2011

Red Hot Man With Book

March 05, 2011 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Music No Comments →

Have we mentioned that we love Red Hot Chili Peppers and their frontman Anthony Kiedis, that we’re waiting for their new album, working (not final) title Dr. Johnny Skinz’s Disproportionately Rambunctious Polar Express Machine-head, that we can’t wait to hear how the band sounds now that John Frusciante’s left (again) and Flea has taken piano lessons, that if the name Flip was not available we would’ve called our magazine Red Hot Chili Papers (Francine’s idea), that we’re wondering when the HBO series based on Anthony’s autobiography Scar Tissue will come out, that we’re definitely catching them on their next tour, and that we love Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Frequently misheard lyric. It’s “With the birds I share this lonely view.”

Divento matta

March 04, 2011 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Design, In Traffic 2 Comments →

Memo to graphic designers: It’s 2011.

This is us in the 90s.

We restrained our hair and we had no cats.

This is us in the 21st century.

We like our hair dishevelled (What Pedro Almodovar calls the “divento matta” (I go mad) hairstyles in Italian movies) and we begin to resemble our cats.

Pedro is very particular about the hairstyles of his protagonists.

I have a column that appears every Friday on the Channel 5 news site.

Dream Couple, International Edition (Updated: OMG, CMG!)

March 04, 2011 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, Current Events 10 Comments →

Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi

The price of oil is rising as unrest continues in Libya and its dictator refuses to skedaddle in the face of international condemnation. The regime in Libya has demonstrated its readiness to kill its own citizens to cling to power, and the citizens have shown their willingness to die for freedom. What is to be done?

There is one woman who can solve this impasse, one woman who has already established her powers of persuasion over Muammar Gaddafi. . .

Imelda Marcos!

If anyone can understand the psyche of a strongman, it’s a woman who was married to one. Not only was she married to Ferdinand Marcos, but she was his personal ambassador to Fidel Castro of Cuba, Mao Zedong of China, Idi Amin of Uganda and other “bad boys”. Clearly she can empathize with Gaddafi at the fashion level.

When Imelda met Muammar. From the book of Here Lies Love by David Byrne and Fatboy Slim.

Talk to him, Madame Marcos. You must save civilization. Tell him to leave in peace. As for his exile, there’s a desert in Paoay that he might like, though we don’t know how the Ilocanos would feel about that.

And should your admiration for each other develop into something…romantic, it could lead to the greatest reality TV show in history.

* * * * *

Stop the presses! This just in:

CMG (Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi) and OMG (Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez)

Kermit: “One has lost his mind, the other doesn’t mind.”

What do they have in common? CMG has a friend who represents Ilocos Norte in Congress and OMG has a former admirer (Rep. Rodolfo Fariñas, who said he had a crush on her in law school) who represents Ilocos Norte in Congress.

Auntie Janey’s Old-Fashioned Agony Column # 5

March 03, 2011 By: jessicazafra Category: Re-lay-shun-ships 17 Comments →

Dear Auntie Janey,

Please enlighten me on this dilemma. A few years ago I suffered from what they call “best-friend-of-the-cute-guy syndrome”. I was the girl best friend and I got sick of it. Think Dawson’s Joey (although Dawson realized later on that he was in love with Joey while he was dating Jen, the new high school hottie). Guys would befriend me and I would become their buddy and “wing girl”. It was fun at first but clearly it was a recipe for emotional disaster. I had no idea how to set boundaries between me and my guy friends.

Case in point: I started having feelings for one of my guy friends. Let’s call him George. Now George was your ultimate boy-next-door type. He had impeccable hygiene, was handsome, smart and funny. The catch: he was in love with a girl who was not me. Let’s call the girl who was not me Winona. Now Winona was your typical pretty girl: body and brains by Mattel, and George could not see past that. For him, everything about Winona was cute or charming and I was this close to throwing myself in the Pasig River. Since I was the best girl bud, he expected me to help him out with everything: how to ask her out, which gifts to give, where to take her on their first date, etc. I could not bring myself to tell George about my feelings because it might destroy our friendship. This went on for months until I finally had it and just never showed my face to George again. He called and sent me messages but I didn’t reply. Last I heard he’s moved to the US with his parents. This broke my heart. From then on I never had a guy best friend again.

So my concern is: How can a girl avoid becoming the girl best friend of the guy she likes? How do we set the boundaries because clearly, some guys are really dense and they don’t get it. Thank you!!! — Babelgum

The cast of Dawson’s Creek
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