JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

The American filmmaker John Sayles, writer and director of Lone Star, Matewan, Passion Fish, The Return of the Secaucus Seven, The Secret of Roan Inish and other films, will hold a press conference on Monday, June 20, 2011, 12 noon, to discuss Amigo, his new film about the Philippine-American War.

Would you like to attend the press con, meet John Sayles and ask him your questions? Post your name in comments and the organizers will add you to the guest list.

Dolcelatte is on the 2nd floor of C&E Building, 1616 Quezon Avenue, South Triangle Quezon City, near Hi-Top Supermarket.

Aside from films Sayles has directed music videos for the Bruce Springsteen songs Born In The USA, I’m On Fire and Glory Days. He has reportedly written an upcoming HBO series based on the early life of Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis, tentatively titled Scar Tissue (Someone else used Californication, bummer). His 1,000+ page novel A Moment In The Sun, set in the Philippines, Cuba and the US at the turn of the 20th century, will soon be launched in the Philippines.

Monday is a holiday. We hope to see you there.

Fine, I was never a fan of Green Lantern, I think of him as the grown-up version of the Wonder Twins minus the monkey.

It was maybe the most anticipated movie of the (American) summer, but there was only one reason I would watch Green Lantern:

Ryan Reynolds’ body.

It’s ridiculous, it’s amazing, it is its own special effect! We have seen some crap movies for this very reason. That stupid Amityville movie—redeemed only by the vision of Ryan Reynolds chopping wood shirtless. Blade 3—a disappointment mitigated by the sight of Ryan Reynolds shirtless. That movie where Ryan Reynolds is buried in a coffin—we’ve even forgotten the name (Uh. . .Buried?) because even if it was two straight hours of Ryan in closeup, he was not shirtless.

[How could Scarlett Johansson bring herself to divorce this specimen? Well, she says as if the former Mr & Mrs Reynolds were her kapitbahay, that marriage was doomed. She’s worked with Woody Allen, she’s recorded an album of Tom Waits covers—she was predisposed to be unhappy with RRrrrrr. At the very least she would prefer an older guy (She is now reportedly involved with Sean Penn).]

Here’s a ring. It looks like something the mutant Angel coughed up. In the background is a glow-in-the-dark Green Lantern T-shirt. Lesson learned: Do not customize a T-shirt using dull scissors.

Going back to Green Lantern: I had an arrangement with my friends. “When he recites that oath I’m going to the bathroom.”

“The most powerful force in the universe is a lantern??” said Kermit. “It’s so inefficient.” Darna only had to swallow a pebble.

“Never mind inefficient, that oath is bloodcurdling.” The Green Lanterns: the Boy Scouts of the Galaxies.

The most interesting part in the Green Lantern movie is the one where Hal Jordan gets measured for his costume. Interesting because we get to see Ryan Reynolds horizontal and naked, with a white strip over his privates. (Bert: “Disente pala ang mga alien.”) Apparently advanced civilizations have moved on from cloth-based tailoring. The dumbest is the superhero’s first public appearance at a cocktail party where he saves Tim Robbins. (Tim Robbins what are you doing in this movie?? And you, Angela Bassett??)

That’s all I recall of the movie because I slept through much of it. Also I suspect that the 3D glasses are an ad for a cosmetic surgeon because when I put them on over my own glasses I need to have more nose.

Now that’s a ring.

Note: I didn’t even sleep through The Hangover 2, I left after the 20th monkey-giving-blowjob joke. They’d put so much faith in the universal appeal of a monkey that gave blowjobs, they forgot to write a movie.

Dear Auntie Janey,

Ala Rihanna

Brad Pitt in Mr & Mrs Smith

Dear Hot and Cold,

I hear Eminem rapping and Rihanna singing in the soundtrack of your romantic life. Please allow me a little liberty in singing a part of their song: ”Just gonna stand there and watch me burn/But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts”.
(more…)

In this week’s episode we talk to the two scrum-halves of the Philippine Volcanoes at the A5N tournament in Korea: the ever popular Jake Letts, seen here with winger Matt Saunders,

and a new Volcano, Fil-Aussie James Price.

To sum up the Volcanoes’ A5N campaign, here’s national coach Expo Mejia.

That’s it for our coverage of the national men’s rugby team at the Division 1 championships. Thank you to everyone who tuned in, watched our videos, read our posts, sent in their comments and joined the liveblogs of the matches. We had hoped to produce more comprehensive reportage; nevertheless we’d like to thank the players for their kindness and patience when accosted in hallways for yet another photograph or interview.

Coach Expo, it’s an honor, sir, to watch a professional of your caliber. Messrs Hodges and Raper, your generosity and commitment to a country that’s not even yours inspires everyone. Volcanoes, you make us proud, you define Awesome.

In next week’s episode we talk about contemporary Philippine Cinema.

Our coverage of the Philippine Volcanoes at A5N Korea was brought to you by Globe. Enjoy Your Globe. Your Way.

Seeing double: The Flavour of Tears

One is an original. The other, evidently, a copy. But René Magritte was a Surrealist, and the truth behind The Flavour of Tears suggests he was enjoying a huge – and probably lucrative – joke.

It’s so Surreal… the artist who forged himself by Andrew McCorkell in The Independent.

In the first place can you forge yourself? If you do, is it meta or fake meta? Meta-meta? Or just…you? And isn’t it just like a Surrealist to do this?

Here’s Magritte’s Golconde, or as we call it, It’s Raining Men In Bowlers, and I still can’t find one that fits my head.

Rafa’s Armani ad

Anyone for tension?
He’s the tennis superstar who has netted a fortune, has hordes of admirers and is happy with his girlfriend. Yet something’s bugging Rafael Nadal

If anyone else tells me what a lovely lad Rafael Nadal is, I shall scream. He is not a lad, he has just turned 25, which is admittedly young, but he is in his ninth year on the professional tennis circuit, has won nine Grand Slam titles and is worth at least £68m. And I didn’t find him lovely at all. When I finally met him in his hotel suite in Rome (he was playing the Rome Masters), he was lying on a massage table with his flies undone affording me a good view of his Armani underpants — Armani being one of his many sponsors, natch. . .

Read the whole article here. (The Times is subscription-only, thank you for this.)

We have just skimmed through the article. First impressions: Lynn Barber does not come right out and say “Rafa is gay”. Her problem is not that he is gay, but that he’s boring. Now we’re going to read the whole piece closely.

Disclosure: We loved An Education, which was based on Lynn Barber’s memoir.