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Thank you for posting your thoughts on one of the great phenomenological topics of our time: Which hopia is the best?

From your knowledgeable comments on hopia (including etymology, thank you) it emerges that there are several schools of thought on “the good biscuit”. One holds that “The flaky crust that crumbles upon contact with one’s mouth is integral to the essence of hopia” and also prevents “umay” (a highly evocative Tagalog word that we struggle to render in English as “cloying”). Another advocates hybridization: in lieu of the flaky crust, “a thin, lightly-sweetened layer of glutinous rice”. Still another espouses newer, non-mongo flavors such as ube and pandan.

Where do we stand on these issues? We understand the devotion to the flaky crust, but prefer the nearly-nonexistent crust with the dense, compact filling because it takes fewer pieces (1 or 2 to be exact) to satisfy one’s craving for hopia. We believe that the flaky crust facilitates gluttony: one can inhale an entire pack of hopia before she realizes it. As for the “umay”, simply chase it down with a shot of vodka. That’ll clear your palate.

As for the hybrids: Heresy! We might indulge in them once in a while, just out of curiosity, but hopiang mongo means hopia, not mochi or tikoy, and mongo, not pandan or ube.

Before the big Eng Bee Tin vs Salazar smackdown, we test two lesser-known hopia brands: Baker’s Fair and Diao Eng Chay. (See top photo.)

The packaging of both brands is unpromising. Baker’s Fair isn’t even packed like hopia: the pieces are loosely held in a bag printed with the statement, “Where you haste for better taste.” Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Obviously no one made haste to an editor for better grammar. There is no manufacturer’s address on the package. As for Diao Eng Chay, the wrapper is inside out so the label appears backwards. The baker’s address is Salazar St, Manila, and the ingredients listed are flour, sugar and oil. No actual mongo?

When we held the Baker’s Fair hopia it left a greasy film on our fingers. The crust is thin and crumbly. Diao Eng Chay has a thick crust, almost like bread. Note the bright yellow filling of both brands. It makes one think of yellowcake. Generally food should not remind consumers of uranium oxide.

We bit into the samples. Baker’s Fair is sweet and tastes like mongo-flavored lard. Diao Eng Chay tastes like sugary cardboard (the label is honest—we sense no mongo). Neither one deserves to occupy the same shelf as our first pair, Ho-Land and Polland. Consume them only if you absolutely must have hopia and there is nothing else in the store.

Next: The much-awaited Eng Bee Tin – Salazar smackdown.

The Hopia Challenges are brought to you by the small hadron collider, the Higgs-Boson particle, and antimatter.