The Weekly LitWit Challenge 6.6: Let’s hear from the villains.
Interesting entries for LitWit Challenge 6.5: Make rust beautiful.
crucial would win if this were a high school honors class.
red the mod would win if this were a purple-ness contest.
theOrbiter would win if this were an art criticism class.
fishy would win in a rhyming competition.
sad_ism wins for sheer geekiness. Congratulations, sad_ism! Please post your full name in Comments (it won’t be published) and we’ll alert you when your prize is ready.
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History is written by the victors, and books and movies are generally told from the hero POV. (Notable exceptions: Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment, Meursault in The Stranger, and Grendel in Grendel, John Gardner’s retelling of Beowulf.) Let’s play with that.
Your assignment this week: Let the “villain”: tell the story. For instance, Alien as told by the alien, Terminator from the terminator’s POV, The Lord of the Rings as told by Sauron (a Russian novelist already did the orc version), King Lear by Edmund, Sense and Sensibility according to the sister-in-law, or The Age of Innocence by Newland Archer’s wife whatshername. Your choice.
As always, 1,000-word maximum. Deadline: 11.59pm on Sunday, 7 August 2011. The chosen villain story gets these.
Two disturbing books: Postsecret for the anonymous contributors’ confessions, Hotel Iris for the twisted love story.
The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
August 2nd, 2011 at 15:13
Yay! Thanks! If there’s anything more enticing to me than a book, it’s a pen. (Hee hee.)
August 2nd, 2011 at 17:14
sad_ism: Not just pens, one Pilot Frixion erasable, one Pilot Vball 0.7, one Pilot Greenball (it’s supposed to be eco-friendly) refillable, etc. Really enjoyed assembling the contents of the pencil box.
August 3rd, 2011 at 00:44
Try looking for the episode of Robot Chicken where Boba Fett tells the story of how things really happened before he fell into the Sarlacc Pit.
August 3rd, 2011 at 03:49
This should be easy–my opponent is wounded. I have a good sword,the Emperor’s sword. I always liked easy. I detest complicated things. Running this Empire takes a lot of compromises and decisions that would rattle even the most educated nobleman. “Have you ever embraced someone dying of the plague,sire?'” some senator asked me recently as I visited the Senate. Since when has it been a duty of the Emperor to risk his own health? There are reasons I hate a Republican Rome,and this is one of them. Talk. All they do is sit,argue and talk. I prefer action. I prefer gladiatorial combats and circus. I ordered five hundred lions from the dark continent last week. Today I chose to wear this white armor and tunic, to mimic the marble statues of our God Jupiter–I can tell that my subjects are amused and amazed at this “Battle of the Ages”,with me,their very own Emperor Commodus, Son of Marcus Aurelius,fighting as a gladiator against this slave,the former General Maximus Decimus Meridius,the leader of the Northern Armies. It vexes me that he still lives,despite my order to my men to have him killed in Germania. He dared refuse to kiss the new Emperor’s ring! He had it coming. How did he know that my Father the Emperor did not die peacefully? I knew that there were no witnesses to what I did,but somehow he suspected me of murder. That he was chosen by the Emperor to be the careteker of the Republic once he is gone,is like a dagger through my own heart. I did not expect that I will be insulted by my very own father–disinherited of the crown–impossible! “You will not be Emperor. My powers will pass to Maximus”. This is absurd. This cannot be. I have prepared all my life for this. This is my ambition,my birthright. I have great plans for Rome,for my sister Lucilla–we would be the Emperor and Empress of Rome. I will not be Emperor? Crap. I’ll have none of that. (While on this subject of “crap”,it irritates me that my given name actually means “toilet” or “latrine” in our own language.Thank you very much,dear Father,for that. I hope you had a peaceful voyage to the fields of Elysium). Now the man,whom the public hails as “Maximus the merciful” stands before me,bloody,dizzy,severely weakened by a dagger wound to his side (guess who gave him that). I must admit that I am not as skilled as he is in the savage art of the swordsmanship-but as it is in life,there are other ways to win a swordfight. How this man managed to elude the Praetorian guards I dispatched in Germania to kill him is beyond me. Perhaps it is anger that drove him,and still drives him, to eliminate everything that is thrown in his path. My men confided to me that they did evil things to his wife and only son in Italy,before crucifying them,although I am not familiar with the grisly details. I heard slave traders later found him,barely alive, in a remote part of the Empire, a place they call Zucchabar. Like a plague,he simply refuses to die. They took him for a deserter,yet they trained him as a fighter. I was told he slew the best gladiators in Zucchabar,so off to Rome he was taken by his handler,in these fights wherein they saluted my ascencion into the throne. Yet his existence is an insult to me-that he is beloved by my own sister is a blasphemy I shall blot out,as I swear in the name of my ancestors. That I used to call him brother when we were young is only a distant memory–“Maximus,the Saviour of Rome”, my own nephew Lucius called him that. The little brat. That the hungry people of Rome are cheering for him now makes no difference- the poor fools will soon go hungry for bread again is inevitable–I shall give more–I shall sacrifice a thousand bulls for immortality. I see he wobbles…it will soon be over. He is too fast for me. I think my arm is bleeding. That really hurts.I am getting dizzy myself.
August 3rd, 2011 at 13:07
Oy, this reminds us of the first time we saw Gladiator. “Commodus? He was named after a toilet?”
August 4th, 2011 at 19:23
Yes, I think I read that in one of our Encyclopedias of Ancient History (I’m looking for that particular volume on “Imperial Rome”–still can’t find it–some kid from the clan must have borrowed it and didn’t return.) It’s a good one, it gives you ideas about how the Romans ruled. D’you know that the early Christians were maltreated and killed for fun simply because they were condemned then as “athiests”? Strange huh.
August 5th, 2011 at 00:15
P.S.,Miss JZ. What’s with WordPress anyway?It keeps telling me I have duplicated my comment though it refuses to display both…only to display it two times later ….sorry for this technical glitch.
August 5th, 2011 at 14:34
Shakespeare made a mistake. How dare he title his play “Othello” when it is as obvious as the rising sun ( Do not barf) that I, Iago, is the leading character?
Othello is but a foolish passionate romantic who would not be so interesting if his color is white. The people of Cyprus and Venice, being suckers for the downtrodden, succumbed to his tears and whims. Don’t these people knew the existence of argumentum ad misericordiam?
They loved the foolish moor whose only claim to fame was his many experiences in the battlefield. But is machismo the sole criterion for promotion as army general? True, testosterone is helpful but a general should also be cunning to be an effective leader. It is obvious that Othello lacks it. He is gullible, for heaven’s sake. Why else would he easily believe all my lies and proceed to recklessness to the point that he smothered Desdemona? See? Is that the general you wish to lead Venice? A general with no sense of independent thought? A general who can easily fall into the prey of the enemy? A general with no firm principle?
Poor Desdemona. Smothered to death. It suits her for the world can do without her. Another fool dead will not make much difference. However, I regret the death of my wife, Emilia. I told her to keep her mouth shut and let me but she did not. Poor Emilia. Stabbed to death. Another kibitzer dead will not make much difference.
You may wonder what happened to me. Dear old Will forgot to write a suitable ending for me. He preferred a very melodramatic ending for Othello and Desdemona (sob sob). He wanted to give the impression that they are star-crossed lovers that will appeal to interracial couples. He wanted to sell Othello as a romantic tragedy. His mistake was he created me.
You may had assumed that I was executed after my treacherous schemes was unfolded. You are wrong. I escaped. Why would I let myself be taken under severe ignominious scrutiny? Why would I wish to humiliate myself? How i escaped will forever remain clandestine.
P.S. i am now at work on a play, The Tragedy of Iago, The Cunning Ensign of Venice
August 5th, 2011 at 15:25
first day
andrea sachs. even her name makes me cringe. this girl went to my office wearing ‘simple clothing’ wants to become my second assistant. the nerve of this girl! i nearly hyperventilated when i saw her enter my office with her clothing that screams ‘bronx’ and not ‘upper east side’. when she placed her resume on my scratch-free table, i nearly ran amok and throttled her to death. imagine how many microorganisms that these papers possess! when she started speaking, i was amazed by her eloquence. so as not to blush from humiliation, i feigned indifference and pretended to scan the Times paper. after she spoke, i tried to cross-examine her by asking if she read my magazine. when she said no, i nearly doubled over from my victory. i was not going to hire her when a thought suddenly sprang out from my mind. i want to manipulate this girl. this will be my revenge to all the smart nerds who made my high school horrible. i will ensure that andrea’s experience here will be hellish. i immediately called emily, my kowtowing minion, to fetch andrea and tell her she’s hired. this is going to be a bumpy year. there’s nothing like manipulating people to excite my dormant hormones.
days later
andrea sachs. her name makes me cringe a little. i was calling tyra banks on my phone when i saw andrea sachs on my office. she was wearing the chanel boots that made one of the editorial people so jubilant that she had to be sent to a psychiatric ward because she can not tear her eyes away from the boots and was always pointing to it as if she was seeing an apparition.
back to andrea. i was amazed by her transformation that i have to do a double-take just to be sure that i was not going to be sent to the psychiatric ward next to the editorial girl. as you can read, i am straying again from the topic. i hate it when i stray from the topic.
back to andrea again. she was head-to-foot a goddess. her hair was in place and every detail was en vogue. later, i overheard emily and serena, my employee who looks like Gisele bundchen, commenting on andrea’s metamorphosis. i smell their insecurity. i smell a catfight. i love this job.
more days later
emily became an incubus of viral plague. she is sneezing anywhere that i immediately wrote an administrative order requiring paper towels anywhere. i was tempted to fire her for being sick ( with all that freebies, how can she afford being sick?) but i relented since this month is busy month. andrea became so servile that i was tempted to award her a humanitarian award. she does her job gracefully and perfectly except for that one time when she went to my home and delivered the book right under my nose. as going to my penthouse is a no-no and because i adore her, i decided to concoct a scheme that will make me evil and a godmother at the same time. the official story was she was sent to fetch the newest harry potter book and she nearly surrendered when she saw a bus bearing the name of Christian Thompson. what happened was the book has been in my possession for 2 days. i gave the book to christian to make it look like it came from him and andrea now owe him a debt of honor. now, andrea is back to my tutelage. as a gift for her endearing passion, i decided to let emily be bumped by a car in order to let andrea accompany me to paris.
more and more days later
i was shocked when andrea quit. i cried in my room. i lost a treasure. she was one of my most efficient workers ever. i want to have her bronzed and to be displayed on my room. it seems to me that the new yorker is a better magazine for her. poor little thing. boy, i do miss her!
several days later
i saw andrea today outside the building. as usual, so as not to be obvious, i feigned indifference although i really wanted to hug her. i miss her so badly. when i entered my limo, i took one last look at her and smiled. i could have cried at that moment but i noticed that the car is not moving so i scolded the driver. i miss andrea.
August 5th, 2011 at 16:15
PEOPLE. Why are you bringing the sledgehammer?? The effort is so obvious we see brains leaking out of your noses. You don’t get points for showing off your knowledge of the back story.
Example. “Sorry I didn’t get your name, Jay What? Oh right, right, you’re renting that place. Right. Well my car’s here. Excuse me.”
August 6th, 2011 at 15:54
Children of generations here on end would hate me and the boy who lived is the eternal hero. The question is, was he really? I have stepped into Hogwarts because of Dumbledore’s insistence. I was satisfied being lonesome in a room questioning my power and abilities. It was destructive and scary but was I the only one who can do that? Being named Tom Riddle is a punishment itself, so I had to exert effort to be known more than that ridiculous name. I learned as much as I could because it has been said that my skill were extraordinary. It was only logical for me to find ways to improve and to be knowledgeable about everything there is about magic. Maybe I deceived Horace Slughorn into telling me how to create Horcruxes. Anyone seeking perfection would do what it takes to live a lasting legacy and even immortality.
I left parts of my soul in seven horcruxes because I had a mission. I knew that my physical body would not be able to last long enough for me to make it happen. As time passed by, there may have been wizards and muggles that were killed; those muggles who had no business being in the Wizard world to begin with. Was it wrong to preserve the genes of pure wizards and have the desire to dominate knowing that I have the abilities to do so? Those muggles in their world were so afraid of us, they taunted us because of our uniqueness and yet,it was fine for mixed bloods to enjoy the privilege of the pure bloods in the Wizard world?
James and Lily Potter were dead. I killed them and have no qualms admitting so. That little boy, “Harry,” became a legendary character because he survived my wrath. He was a neglected and lanky boy sleeping under the stairs while being ostracized by his relatives made him the “underdog.” Who would not be pissed with the boy who reminds them that their family is not normal? It is only understandable that they acted that way toward him. I took my time into having an able physical body, to breathe in and gain life from someone’s death and to gather loyal followers who would help me with my quest. On the other hand, Harry went to Hogwarts, met those two pesky children named Ron, who was a ginger head and Hermione, an annoying little Muggle. Those three were seen as heroes but in reality, they shook the supposed peaceful environment of Hogwarts. Most of their mishaps that made them heroes were due to their inability to follow the rules. They messed around with trolls, helped keep and take care of a dragon though they knew it was not allowed, went out on late nights under the invisibility cloak, read books they were not supposed to and engaged in a life-threatening sport such as Quidditch. Instead of just focusing on their studies, they went out and about messing with business that was not theirs. Harry was hardly able to protect himself from the Dementors and always found himself needing assistance.
Others have understood my vision like BellaTrix LeStrange, the Malfoys alongside my other loyal servants and Nagini. One of the best that I had was Severus Snape, whom not only was a great wizard but also projected a great level of bitterness which I found interesting. I knew right from the start that I had to kill Harry Potter, because my domination would not be complete without doing so. Am I lying when I say that having Harry Potter alive did not just constitute explosive chaos but also unnecessary fear? How many wizards were placed in danger because of him? Ginny Weasley was possessed. Cedric Giddory who just wanted to win the Tri-Wizard cup died, the brilliant Sirius Black and the Potter clones died trying to protect him. Dumbledore and the professors protected Hogwarts from me but in reality, the source of aggravation was in their midst. I just wanted to cleanse out the world from the mediocre and unpure and that included the weak leadership of the Government.
Dumbledore and the rest of the wizards saw me as the enemy because they were too busy coddling the “Boy who Lived.” What they failed to see is how much better it would have been if our world were filled with powerful pure-blood Wizards who know how to obey. They were the ones who created fear among themselves believing that I am there to destroy the world that they know of. No, it has never been clearly indicated of that being so. I was only improving the degenerating system the world has been having. I became even more hated when Dumbledore was killed. They should have known that their beloved Dumbledore may have been a kind leader in their eyes but actually compromised his siblings just to achieve his stature and yet I am the bad guy? He predicted his death, he ordered a lovesick and helpless Severus Snape to kill him and no one realized that. After his death that cat, Professor Maggie McGonagall, was left to lead Hogwarts into safety despite her aging body.
Innocent wizards were killed because of Harry Potter. Even his best friend lost a brother because of him. He must have known better than to compromise those lives that should not have been wasted. He was eternally hiding under the cloaks of his protectors. They killed my followers, Longbottom thrusted the sword of Gryffindor and eventually, I was killed. The wizard who would have made the world a better place was regarded as wicked and yet the boy who valued his life in exchange of thousands was still loved. Tell me, what significance did he do aside from getting old, marrying that girl Ginny and having a spawn. Nothing.