JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

In the past week and a half a ragtag group of Rebel indie filmmakers were busy fighting off the evil machinations of the imperial forces of Big Studio Empire. The Rebels launched the attack with a film of the kilometric name “Zombadings 1: Patayin Sa Shokot Si Remington”. The title was maybe meant to throw off the Big Studio Empire, for it did not really know what to make of it.

Even before the hostilities began, the Rebel Alliance had a parlay with Big Studio Empire. The Rebels had hoped to bring peace to the archipelagic cinematic galaxy by negotiating a share of what the Rebels saw would be victory in the field. The Big Studio Empire assembled its high council. One elder, with foresight and some intelligence, made a case to the others that yes, the Rebels may peacefully co-exist with them since the Empire apparently did not have anything in their arsenal to match up with “Zombadings 1: Patayin Sa Shokot Si Remington”. At least not at that moment.

But at the same laser speed with which they churn out their scripts, the other elders immediately thumbed down the idea, scoffing at the Rebels’ creation as too complicated and unpalatable to the cinematic galaxy.

So the Rebels decided to go it alone. They honed their creation and waited for the Big Studio Empire to let its guard down. For in the cosmic ghost month of August, the Big Studio Empire was wont to withhold any cinematic attacks on their hapless subjects. The Rebels thought: The time is right. They booked their date with destiny: on August 31st of this millennium they were ready to launch an unprecedented attack with independent distribution and guerilla marketing. The gay undead would rise.

Alas, the Big Studio Empire got wind of their plans, called in their loyal troops, schemed with their cloning creatives and planned a violent counter-attack. The Big Studio Empire unleashed their not so secret weapon: THE IMPERIAL DEATH STAR CINEMA. The IMPERIAL DEATH STAR CINEMA steamrolled across the front lines of theaters, blocking off any Rebel producer who wanted to book itself for a fight. Their Sith Lords made offers to the theater owners; offers they could not refuse.

The IMPERIAL DEATH STAR CINEMA finally secured 130 theater battle stations, leaving the Rebel Alliance with a measly 30. With their machinery in place, the IMPERIAL DEATH STAR CINEMA fired up its death rays, ready to excrete its lethal movie formulas on anyone who wanted cinematic fare other than theirs. The IMPERIAL DEATH STAR had trained their sights specifically on this one audacious film with the kilometric name “Zombadings 1: Patayin Sa Shokot Si Remington”.

The war began.

It looked like a mis-match: MEDIA MIGHT and STAR POWER vs plain Chutzpah. When the smoke cleared, the BIG STUDIO EMPIRE controlled the provinces but surprise, surprise, the rebels kicked ass in the Metropolis. Yes, the forces of BIG STUDIO EMPIRE and its IMPERIAL DEATH STAR CINEMA seems to have the upper hand (simply because they bullied their way into securing all those theaters) but the fight isn’t over. The rebels have jolted the archipelagic cinematic galaxy out of its stupor and it continues to fight into a third week.