Auntie Janey’s Old-Fashioned Agony Column #27: BPO blues and expired friendships
Dear Auntie Janey,
I’ve been working in the BPO industry for the last 7 years. When I started out, I thought this would just be a 1-year thing while I figured out what to do with the rest of my life. Then things started happening in a good way, so I’ve stayed on and found stability with a very weird schedule. I have a good job that pays the bills, a happy family, and enough money to buy the things I could never have when I was a kid.
My problem is this: I have a long-time friend who always says the wrong things about my job. I don’t think she means to hurt me, but she’s so self-absorbed, she doesn’t think before blurting out her comments.
Here are just some examples: (Quote in parenthesis are the actual thoughts running through my head)
A) 2 months ago, she says, “Oh so you work in Company A. I always thought you worked in Company B.” (Ummm….I’ve been working in Company A for 4 years now and I’ve never ever set foot in the offices of Company B!)
B) “God, I would never hire people from schools other than University A!” (Ummm…. I’m not from University A. Plus, I’ve hired people from University C – Z and about 90% of them have done good work for me.)
C) “Eeuuwww…I would never go out with a guy working in the BPO industry! They’re not exactly of my caliber!” (Ummm… and dating strangers in bars is a better option?)
D) “If I ever work for a BPO, I’m not going to adjust my schedule to theirs. I’m a boss, they should adjust their schedule to my convenience!” (Okay…..but that’s not going to get you very far.)
To add salt to the wound, she introduces me to one of her friends who needed career advice and he dares ask me questions like, “Isn’t there a stigma associated with working in a BPO?” and “Isn’t there a distinction between a Corporation and BPO?” WTF?!!
I love my job because it gives me the things that I value: autonomy, flexibility, and independent thinking. I’ve been mentored by excellent managers and I’ve been sent to train in the best MBA schools for free! I travel abroad for conferences. This is more than I can say for a lot of dead-end traditional corporate jobs out there. That’s why I’m still amazed that a lot of people look down on BPOs.
I’ve been friends with this person since we were kids, but she’s changed so much in the last 3 years. I don’t know if I should keep trying to be her friend, or if I should just accept the fact that we’ve grown in different directions and move on with my life without her. She’s become like a relative I’m required to see at least once a year out of obligation. To be honest though, I have very few friends, so I’m afraid to lose another one. Should I just brush off her unenlightened comments about my work and pretend everything is okay? Do you think I should confront her with my real feelings? This is the first time I’m writing to a stranger for advice, but I’m curious to hear what you have to say about my situation.
Gertrude
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