Archive for October, 2011
Auntie Janey’s Old Fashioned Agony Column # 31: The courage to be vulnerable.
Dear Auntie Janey,
I have been an avid follower of your column and I have enjoyed my position as a reader, reading through most of the love stories and sometimes vicariously feeling the letter senders’ agony. I never really thought I’d be writing you until I realized I needed and wanted to do so. I am 24 years old and I have never had a serious, labeled, and clearly defined romantic relationship with the opposite sex ever. The idea of being someone’s girlfriend scares me because of the responsibility, commitment and the “limited” freedom that it calls for.
I also have difficulty being vulnerable and weak in front of people. I would say I am a very logical, head-on person and I am never timid nor submissive. These greatly influenced my relationships with guys, which never really reached serious status and all ended up as mere short-term flirtations, teases and flings.
I had been comfortable with this kind of set-up until recently an old friend started reconnecting with me again after months of being “distant and cold”. These months of being “distant and cold” happened after his failed attempt to pursue me and he has been in two relationships since then. I rejected his feelings for me before because of my fears. Also I felt he was being impersonal as he would just express himself through SMS. I felt I deserved more than that so I dismissed him.
However, our communication relationship was not quite affected and when we talked he would act as if no proposal had been made and nothing happened (I must be honest, this bruised my pride).
Five months ago this guy and I had to meet to prepare our consolidated surprise birthday gift for our common friend. That meet-up started the re-connection. He would send an SMS to me and ask me about my day and we would end up chatting for hours. His messages would come in from time to time, becoming frequent until they became daily. I thought I was in control. I would tell myself “Hey, you’re familiar with this set-up” until I found myself actually liking him.
He would invite me to join him skimboarding or go swimming but I would decline because that is his territory and I would feel vulnerable. He would constantly say he misses me. At first I would ignore the messages but his persistence got me until I would respond by saying I miss him too (I truly do). Now we are like people in a relationship except for the fact that we really are not. One time while we were on a bus he held my hand as if we were a couple and I let him. He caressed my face and kissed my cheeks and I let him. He whispered that he misses me and that really made me happy.
I know I am supposed to be familiar with this picture, I’ve had this before, but I feel different, like it’s something deeper. I wanted us to be “us” but I don’t know how to make this set-up turn into the real relationship that I wanted. I don’t want to confront him because I want him to be the one do it, after all he’s the guy. I still have my fears but this time I think I am willing to take the plunge. I think? I am still haunted by his impersonal tendencies but I have become slowly resilient to that.
Help me Auntie Janey. What’s a girl to do? Should I be the one to confront him? How should I do that without surrendering to my vulnerability? If he ever confronts me about our status, what should I tell him? Should I tell him about my feelings, forget about my fears, throw away the fact that he is kind of impersonal, and just take the plunge? Too many questions, eh?
Help!
Sincerely,
Ai-don’t Wanna Wait in Vain
(more…)
The Daily Gazette # 4
by GNN, the Gaz News Network. Please link to this page; do not copy and paste.
At 1030 am yesterday Gaz Holgate visited Amado T. Reyes Elementary School in Buayang Bato, Mandaluyong to assist in National Book Store Foundation’s Project Aral.
Gaz gave a short talk to the 133 pupils of the school, which is located right beside the Pasig River. The school buildings will soon undergo renovation in order to accommodate more students. National Book Store will build the school’s new library.
Kids are a tough audience, but they perked up when Gaz gave a demonstration of basic rugby skills.
Afterwards Gaz distributed Project Aral kits containing notebooks and pencils to the children from the 1st to the 6th grades. National Book Store Foundation has donated school supplies and books to public schools from Saranggani to the Babuyan Islands.
The next hour was spent posing for pictures, then signing the kids’ new notebooks, shirts, and arms (Lagot kayo sa mga nanay ninyo). Bubbles noted Gaz’s excellent swarm algorithm—he could not turn without being covered in children. (As Noel observed: Para siyang bata na tinubuan ng katawan.)
Afterwards we had lunch at the head office of National Bookstore on Pioneer Street. Gaz met Nanay Socorro Ramos, the woman who founded the country’s largest bookstore chain 70 years ago.
“Okay ah, hinahalikan lahat ng nakikilala,” (Okay, he kisses everyone he’s introduced to) Nanay noted.
“Pagsabihan po namin na tigilan niya yan?” (Should we tell him to stop?)
“Huwag, pero baka mahawa siya kung may sakit. (No, but he could catch germs.) How old are you, 18?”
“23, ma’am.”
“I’m 88,” Nanay announced. We can only hope to be as energetic as she is when we’re 60.
Special thanks to Bea and Chad of National Book Store Foundation for making the school visit happen. (It was scheduled for last week but typhoon Pedring cancelled it.)
* * * * *
Gaz factoids.
1. For the school visit he wore a white T-shirt by Sisley, Levi’s cutoffs, white Fred Perry sneakers and Wayfarers.
2. Gaz is a moviegoer. Today he mentioned Before Sunrise and Before Sunset.
3. Naturally he is rooting for Wales in the Rugby World Cup. (In tomorrow’s match we’re pro-Ireland!)
The Daily Gazette # 3
by GNN, the Gaz News Network
Duckface was free most of the day so he went to the gym, then he bought a pair of dress shoes. We’ve already mentioned his shoes, right? Ferragamo, call us.
Team Gaz had dinner at Escolta at the Peninsula Manila with GMA Network management (L-R): Annette Gozon, Tracy Garcia, and Arsi Baltazar. During dinner Tracy looked at Gaz and said, “You look like someone. An actor. What was that movie?”
Watch out in 5, 4, 3, 2. . .
“Phone Booth! Colin Farrell.”
Average number of times this resemblance is mentioned per day: 10.5. Colin, please call us so we can explain personally.
Then Gaz had to get ready for the Esquire launch at the Rigodon Ballroom of the Pen. In his haste he cut himself while shaving and bled onto his suit by J.C. Buendia. He wore his own skinny tie, which he knotted like a good public school boy.
Gaz was escorting Lovi Poe to the Esquire event. (Gaz will appear in the music video for the first song off her third album.) Lovi was supposed to wear a debutante-type gown (like a cake) but she ditched it for something that was more her style. She looks stunning, no?
“Don’t leave your date, okay. Put your hand on the small of her back,” we told Gaz.
“Can I do that?” he said.
“Can he do that?” we asked Lovi.
“Okay,” Lovi said.
“Thanks mom,” Gaz said.
“Stupid child, we might as well tell you. Colin Farrell is your father.”
* * * * *
Gaz factoids.
1. He wears size 9 (UK) shoes.
2. He’s learning Nihongo, spoken and written.
3. He sings songs that are older than he is—Don’t Stop Believing by Journey, You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi—in karaoke bars, but he will not sing on TV.
This is what you want? Really??
In this photo Charmaine the wife and Cara the other woman run into each other at a Prince concert in 1985. Except that it’s 2011.
By all accounts the Viva-Star Cinema production No Other Woman is a smash hit, and in show business there is no arguing with pots of money. We may assume from the box-office grosses that this is the sort of movie the Filipino audience wants to see.
What exactly is this movie saying?
1. Character is unnecessary; all you need are stereotypes. In the traditional defence of marriage melodrama these are:
1.1. The Handsome Husband
1.1.1. The Handsome Husband is so hot that he is literally bursting out of his clothes, which are at least one size too small for him so as to emphasize his well-developed pectoral muscles.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
