JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

The Twilight: Breaking Dawn blockade is over, hooray!!! We can watch movies again! Movies without emotional vampires or frustrated werewolves!

Never in the history of cinema have we been so glad to see a Sarah Geronimo-Gerald Anderson movie open in our neighborhood multiplex. We are that relieved.

This is the movie we urge you to see:

The Adventures of Tintin! Steven Spielberg’s motion capture 3D movie adaptation of the beloved Hergé graphic novels, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham’s Treasure.

We read a terrible review so we expected the characters to look like moving cadavers, but billions of blistering bilious blue barnacles, that was bollocks. It’s Indiana Jones, Boy Reporter.

Obviously you are deeply moved by recent revelations in the form of non-revelations so let’s LitWit this to death. Here is the situation: Your dear friend is in love with a totally unsuitable person who is perfect on paper but is really not good for them. And they know it but out of pride or obstinacy (because everyone warned them this would happen but they went ahead anyway) or masochism or contractual obligations they refuse to get out.

Write this dear friend of yours a letter in 1,000 words or less telling them the awful truth and urging them to save themselves. If you need inspiration read this famous letter.

Post your letter in Comments on or before Saturday, 3 December 2011 at 12 noon. The winner will receive these books:

Now go.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

NYRB Classics in rows.

Discuss.

How do you all know what we’re talking about when we didn’t name anyone? (How do we know when we don’t watch tv and are not on facebook and twitter? Oh right, we have ears.) Hahahaha.

Unlikely as it seemed only a few months ago, when Novak Djokovic was grinding the rest of tennis underfoot, Roger Federer entertains realistic ambitions of reclaiming his place as world No1 by the summer.

Federer holds off Tsonga to win World Tour Finals.

Roger seems to be wearing a hairy glove.

The winner is VenusdeSupsup! Congratulations, Venus, you may pick up your stack of books at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Just give them the email address you used to register here.

* * * * *

We have five contenders for this week’s LitWit Challenge, Leila v Gloria. Less than we’d expected given the media storm, but not a bad effort at all. Now it’s time to pick the winner, and to make things more interesting we’ve decided to let you be the judge.

Read the 5 entries in Comments, and then vote for the playlet you like best.

We’re accepting votes until 4.44am tomorrow, 28 November 2011.

* * * * *

That’s all you’ve got? Real life smacks you in the face with material and this is it? The lowliest baklita sweeping hair off the floor of the corner P20-peso haircut beauty parlor could do better. Hell, straight guys could do better.

The contest is extended until noon tomorrow, Sunday 27 November.

Classic bitch: Bette Davis in All About Eve, not to be confused with Korean soap

* * * * *

There are many great plays with only two or three characters: Harold Pinter’s Betrayal (one married couple, one friend, infidelity), Michael Frayn’s Copenhagen (Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg, Nazi Germany and the Bomb), Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot (Vladimir, Estragon, a couple of extras, Godot does not arrive).

For the Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.7 you’re going to write us a scene for a play with two or three characters. The protagonists are Justice Secretary Leila De Lima, the former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, and President Benigno Aquino III (optional).

Maximum word count: 2,000 words
Deadline for submissions: 11.59 pm, Friday, 25 November 2011.
Post your entry in Comments.The prize is this stack of books.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John LeCarré, Ransom by David Malouf, The Last Station by Jay Parini, The Man in the Yellow Doublet by Arturo Perez Reverte, The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell, and Lush Life by Richard Price.

Give us something Nora and Vilma or Meryl and Judi or Dakota and Elle can sink their teeth into.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.