November 20, 2011By: jessicazafra Category: Art1 Comment →
Apart from the obvious lack of academic qualifications there are good reasons why we should be barred from reviewing art. One, art shows elicit only two types of reactions from us: violence and indifference. Of the first type there is violent admiration—in which we become a total fan and, having no outlet for our enthusiasm, take to stalking the artist or waging war upon the artist’s detractors. On the other end there is violent revulsion—in which we must combat the urge to rip the painting from the wall and smash it upon its perpetrator’s head, although sometimes this expresses itself in fits of hysterical laughter.
But the most painful reaction is indifference. We don’t like it, we don’t dislike it, its existence is an unnecessary expense of energy and likely, so is its creator’s.
The other, more obvious reason is that we make the discussion about ourself. Lacking academic qualifications, left to my own devices, what else are supposed to talk about?
Zobel, D’Bayan and the Shock of the New in Emotional Weather Report in the Philippine Star. Whenever it comes out.
Thank you for submitting your entries, apologies for the delayed announcement. Have been sleeping off The Worst Cold of the Year for the last 48 hours. We have learned a vital lesson: Never fly when you are congested. When the plane starts descending, the cabin pressure drop will make you feel like your head is going to explode. We were deaf for a half hour after landing…and then we got on another plane. It was excruciating.
Thanks to the ministrations of our cats we are feeling much better, though still amazed that a human body can contain so much viscous green snot.
In case you attended the panel on Humor at the Manila International Literary Festival, apologies for our absence. We emailed the organizers yesterday that we were not likely to recover our powers of coherent speech by today. And we had been looking forward to discussing irony at the M.I.L.F.
But that’s enough about green snot. We enjoyed reading your entries. One was annoying (Oh wow you know the plot), a couple were creepy (not atmospheric creepy, diagnostic creepy); our favorites were the letters from johnbristol6 and Momelia. Except that we couldn’t figure out which literary character johnbristol6’s break-up letter was addressed to, though their relationship seemed quite literary. (We thought he meant Nabokov’s Ada but we don’t think she spoke bekinese.) (Update: Thanks for the information: Ada is ZsaZsa Zaturnnah’s alter ego.) Momelia’s is meant for the Tin Man obviously, and we get a clear impression of the writer’s personality while the other letters only spoke of the addressee.
Speaking of the Tin Man, Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie’s graphic novel Lost Girls retells the stories of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, and Wendy from Peter Pan. With tons of sex. Not for kids.
The Winner of the Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.6 is Momelia. johnbristol6 gets a consolation prize: Ang Huling Dalagang Bukid at Ang Authobiography Na Mali: Isang Imbestigasyon by Jun Cruz Reyes (Since we’re hoping johnbristol6 will write a novel). Congratulations! You may pick up your books any day starting Saturday 19 November 2011 at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore at Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati.
The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore. LitWit 7.7 is coming up.
I am a thirty-something woman working in a foreign land who, like most of your letter-writers, is clueless on matters of the heart. It’s just like the 500 Days of Summer, in reverse. How do I describe the first encounter? Kaboom! All my plans of just work, no play died. I am an insanely sane person, very stoic and can withstand all a**holes in the galaxy but why do I have to feel this way? My friends and the people around me say I am a late bloomer. This is probably the reason.
The problem is that guy doesn’t like me and treats me as a friend, and I can’t bring myself to break the friendship. I caught myself doing absolutely everything for the guy but of course I always get disappointed and feel so stupid because all effort is worthless.
It’s a shame though. We have the same taste in music, movies, and books—which endears him to me. I am petrified to confront him and tell him how I feel. I would feel moronic if I do it. I am 100% sure it will not end with us being together. I tried to stop seeing or texting him but, like I said, living in a foreign land makes it hard. It’s quite lonely at times. I break promises to myself and see him again.
I know…I know from all the advice you gave from previous letter senders (STOP SEEING HIM) but it’s so hard. I’m in my 30s, why do I have to feel like a 13 year old? I will probably let him go in time. But how to begin? How should I disappear? Like Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind…
Aunt Janey I need your help please.
Lovingly yours,
Gone through the Window.. .
Dear Gone Through the Window,
I haven’t watched 500 Days of Summer so I cannot relate. But I have watched a lot of boy-meets-girl movies, foremost of which, and I am not ashamed to admit this since I’m writing anonymously, is A Walk To Remember (“I told you not to fall in love with me. Now I hate God!”).
I think the more appropriate movie for you would be The Road Home which stars my very close friend, Zhang Ziyi. She plays a young girl living in a remote village somewhere in China. One day a twenty-something teacher arrives from the city. He is assigned to be the village school teacher. Upon laying her eyes on him, KABLAM!
The men of the village are tasked to help him build the school building while the women are asked to cook food for the men. She is bonkers with love. To demonstrate her love, she wakes up very early in the morning to whip up dumplings, hot pots, and other dishes that required a lot of ingredients and elaborate preparation. The products of her labour are then served in a large, intricate porcelain bowl—the best in her house.
The women are required to place whatever they’ve cooked on the table during lunch time. They are not allowed to chit-chat with the men. After placing the dishes on the table, all of them walk away and watch from afar while the men eat. They are only allowed to come near and pick up the dishes after all of the men have eaten and gone back to work. She has no means of knowing whether her beloved actually ate the food she painstakingly prepared. But she does it everyday anyway.
I will not tell you to stop seeing him. You have a friendship after all and good friends are hard to come by these days. What I want you to do is stop making him the center of your universe. I understand the loneliness that you feel, especially when you are new to a place and you know only very few people. I urge you to widen your circle little by little. Slowly make new friends here and there. I want you to see less of him and more of other people.
Try online dating or attending socials. I hear that people in foreign lands organize socials where singles mix and match. Force yourself to meet other people if you have to. Dragging yourself to an event and talking to other people can be fun.
Obviously the friendship you have with him is very dear to you. But the only way to make it last is to not let yourself put a strain on it. Distancing from him once in a while can be good for you. If he is not in your face all the time, you can actually see other things, other men even, who have been in front of you all along. Most of the time it’s just a matter of forcing yourself to expand your perspective and giving yourself more room to scan the horizon.
Truly Yours,
Auntie Janey
Would you like Auntie Janey to meddle in your life? Email agoniesforauntiejaney@gmail.com.
Home. Exhausted. No sight-seeing, no shopping. Cats happy. Can’t move suddenly, bed crowded with cats.
We’re among the first creatures on earth to get the new BlackBerry Bold 9790.
Who would you rather see on a BlackBerry billboard: Phil Younghusband or Mat-Mat the Cat?
After looking at every bookshop we passed in the Jakarta and HK airports, we found the last copy of The Stranger’s Child by Alan Hollinghurst in the Page One closest to our boarding gate. Next Reading Group pick? We promise not to touch “Which one is the worthy Booker winner?” Like we said, not that big on prizes; our dicks are huge enough.
Why not that anatomical reference? Almost the first thing we hear about on returning to Manila is the former president’s counsel’s testicle.
Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher: terrifying! We can hear her cast-iron balls clanking from the screen. Michael has already ordered the champagne for the Oscars lunch.
Yesterday we were too zonked from the trip, and today we were too busy. Tomorrow we have a very early appointment and we have to be at the airport round lunch time. Meaning all we will see of Jakarta are two Ritz-Carlton hotels.
Spotted these at the chocolatier and patisserie next to the Ritz-Carlton ballroom at Pacific Place:
Birthday cakes for Hermes junkies. Price: 6 million rupiah or Php29,000—not atrocious compared to some kids’ birthday cakes these days.
Eyeglasses by Maria Nella Sarabia, O.D.
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