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Kim Jong-Il looking at cheese

Read The Cinema and Directing by Kim Jong-Il. Watch Pulgasari, his Godzilla movie, online.

Thanks to Chus for the alert.

French government ‘to order women to remove defective breast implants’.

This is how it starts.

Lieutenant Feraud of Napoleon’s army fights a duel with a civilian over some perceived slight to the honor of his regiment. Duelling is not allowed in the army. The general of the division sends Lieutenant d’Hubert to inform Feraud that he is under close arrest. D’Hubert finds Feraud in the salon of Madame de Lionne and relays the general’s orders. Feraud declares that d’Hubert has insulted him in front of a lady, and demands satisfaction.

D’Hubert refuses to fight a duel over a slight that is either imaginary or trivial, but Feraud will not listen to reason. They draw swords, Feraud is wounded, the fight is stopped.

Harvey Keitel as Feraud. Conrad’s story was based on a real-life feud between two officers. All lobby cards from Lewis Wayne Gallery.

For the next 15 years they will endeavor to kill each other. Every time their paths cross, they duel. The rules of chivalry are observed: the combatants must be of the same rank, the army must not be at war. If one combatant is wounded and cannot continue, the duel must be stopped, to be resumed when both are well enough to fight to the death. Neither man will say what they’re fighting over—Feraud is a madman, and d’Hubert will not say anything unless his foe is present to defend himself. Their ideas of honor become their straitjackets. When they meet during Napoleon’s disastrous campaign in Russia, only a common enemy saves the starving, freezing protagonists from shooting each other.

Fashions change (The evolution of hussars’ hairstyles is fascinating), the map of Europe is redrawn, both men attain the rank of general. After Napoleon falls d’Hubert marries into the restored aristocracy and Feraud joins the Bonapartists trying to restore Napoleon to power.

Keith Carradine as d’Hubert. Carradine won an Academy Award for Best Song—I’m Easy, which he himself sang in Robert Altman’s Nashville.

Feraud continues to pursue d’Hubert, even “rewriting” the alleged insult to his honor. He does not know that d’Hubert had used his connections to keep him from getting executed as a Bonapartist.

The Duellists (1977) is the first feature by Ridley Scott, adapted from a long story (or short novel) by Joseph Conrad that goes by the titles The Duel, The Duellists, and Point of Honour: A Military Tale. Keith Carradine plays d’Hubert, Harvey Keitel the madman Feraud.

In a five-year span Ridley Scott made The Duellists, Alien and Blade Runner. These films share an obsession with design and an air of claustrophobia. The Duellists takes place in large sumptuous houses and wide open spaces where the likelihood of getting jumped by a monster with acid for blood is small, but there is the possibility of encountering Harvey Keitel. If he’s coming to get you, Napoleon’s empire isn’t big enough. We’ll take our chances with the alien.

Best duels on film.

Scott’s film is so beautiful, from the cinematography to the period detail to the music, that the duels seem even more savage, pointless and bizarre. When Feraud, divested of his sustaining obsession, stares over the water, he looks like the emperor in exile. The Duellists is a breathtaking pocket history of the Napoleonic era and its illusions about honor and class.

Joyce Carol Vincent: How could this young woman lie dead and undiscovered for almost three years? Read it in The Observer.

Tom Cruise is stretched so tightly you could play guitar solos on him. He looks insane. He runs so much the sides of his face look like they’ve been planed off by wind shear. Yet when he turns to his team and says, “Light a fuse,” and the theme music comes on with the fuse burning through the opening credits we knew we were going to enjoy Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol. It had to work, it was directed by Brad Bird.

Read the review in InterAksyon.com.

Kim Jong-Il looking at sausages from Kim Jong-Il looking at things.

Hitchens died on Thursday, Vaclav Havel died on Sunday, and this morning that natty sunglasses-and-Mao-jacket-wearing, horrible poetry-writing, filmmaker-abducting, Godzilla ripoff auteur-ing overlord of a literally divided country with no food but with nuclear weapons Kim Jong-Il waved bye-bye to this mortal coil.

We don’t know if anyone will miss him (That would depend on his successor) other than the South Park guys, sketch comedy writers and mad dictator junkies, and the writers of 30 Rock will have to figure out what happens to Avery, but with the deaths of Hitch, Havel, and Kim the world has become a more homogeneous place. Everyone looks, acts and sounds more and more alike, mass produced, brainwashed. The more they strive to “define” themselves and set themselves apart from the multitudes the more clone-like factory replicant they seem.