Stella’s Stakeout Report # 1: Happy Birthday, Jeremy Renner!
Photo from Flaunt
Today is Jeremy Renner’s 41st birthday. By way of a birthday greeting we’re going to leave him alone. Here is our Special Renner Correspondent stellalehua’s report from yesterday’s stakeout. Thanks for the good work, stellalehua! Next week high tea at the Pen (and more stalkage) is on us.
Friday, 1139. Yun na! *gets SLR ready; computes cost of MRT fare and halo-halo at The Pen*
This mission better not get compromised.
1224. Am bringing the laptop and broadband stick with me para may live update just in case, since my phone has no camera and Net capability. (Thought twice about bringing the laptop, but I figured, what the heck—para kunwari I’m busy with spreadsheets haha. Sana wag matapunan ng halo-halo!)
Should be at the Pen at 1 PM at the latest, since I’m taking the MRT to Ayala Station and going there on foot.
1434. Am here @ the lobby, one hour late. Must’ve gotten a bad seat since all of the “pang-stalker” tables are taken. No sign of target (5’9-5’11, blond hair, blue-green eyes, ka-hairdo ni Jamie Oliver at medyo mukhang patatas) pero ang daming afam dito, hindi ko alam kung sino dito ang mukhang Hollywood.
Thought I’d stay here until around 4:30-ish, or until my laptop battery runs out (whichever comes first)… but most likely I might leave for Ayala Station before 5.
(Which reminds me: I looked at the picture again. Mukhang doon lang sa may Old Manila yung picture. Hindi pang-Salon De Ning ang outfit ng hitad; siguro kumain lang tapos natulog.)
1526. Still no sign of target. Lots of nuns and badly dressed afams, though. Am going to finish off my chamomile tea before moving to the balcony.
1631. Good news: Target spotted at Pen lobby. Bad news: no photos! I was at the balcony, he was walking too fast, and everyone else was pulling out cameras! Am cursing myself right now, and wondering if I should go home since I have a class tomorrow morning.
Yay, he’s celebrating his birthday here! And there won’t be any starlets puking all over his furniture! It definitely is more fun in the Philippines, LOL.
This I can say: He was wearing a black baseball cap, black T-shirt, and camo cargo pants with closed-toe shoes. He had a plain-looking guy friend with him, pero parang kapatid or alalay lang so there were barely any blips on the gaydar. His height is in the 5’9-5’11 range, and he has a very steady gait. Slim, but not super-skinny* – lots of muscle definition under the clothes, in fact. The one thing that did stand out to me was his skin; not much of a tan, but his face is surprisingly smooth and clear in real life even though his wrinkles show up in photos. The nose is pretty distinctive – can’t get away from that – but, yes, those eyes! As soon as I got a glimpse of ’em, I was a goner.
Oh, and his butt really is a thing of beauty. It definitely is Dat Ass… though, I’m sad to say (for those who asked), there are no signs of stab wounds in that area, either.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
January 7th, 2012 at 07:05
In retrospect – and perhaps because I wrote it under duress, since I was PO’d about not getting that picture – I think I may have overstated the “everyone else was pulling out their cameras” comment here; it wasn’t as if people at the Lobby Bar were running up to him with SLRs and asking him to turn around. But, yep, there was some turning of heads and pulling out of phone cams as soon as he walked towards the elevator.
Happy birthday, Mr. R, and hope you have a stress-free weekend!
January 8th, 2012 at 01:59
I just remembered I still have a GC that entitles me to a lunch or dinner buffet at Escolta! I can’t think!
January 8th, 2012 at 21:56
Not to be disrespectful to the great (chos!) tom cruise but I think the real star of MI4 is Jeremy Renner’s super lovely ass. My favorite scenes in the movie are those that showed terrific shots of the Renner twins. Hihi.
January 9th, 2012 at 07:16
@ifrico: I did take a quick look at Escolta while I was there, and I was surprised by how little floor space it actually occupied, compared to Spiral or Circles. You could spot him, of course, if he was in line for the buffet… but he might also be accompanied by a minion or two who could see you before you see him. Pakita ko pa nga sa iyo kung gusto mo, hehe.
@lestat: Seriously, you don’t need IMAX to enjoy Dat Ass on-screen. That stretching sequence alone was worth the price of admission. ;)
January 9th, 2012 at 10:08
My friends and I saw Renner in Boracay on Saturday.
January 9th, 2012 at 13:59
no pictures=no evidence.
January 9th, 2012 at 21:43
Also, an explanation for the phrase “Dat Ass”: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dat-ass
January 11th, 2012 at 20:13
at dahil dyan, i will watch MI4 tmro. (pwede pa humabol hihi)