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On the plane we were seated three rows behind the singer Engelbert Humperdick, who was traveling with his entourage. Our mother would’ve gotten a kick out of that; we’re always disappointed when the musician on the plane is not Anthony Kiedis. The flight to Singabore was exactly on time, and we had an interesting chat with the purser about the pusakal her kids adopted. The ideal flight: we fell asleep on takeoff, woke up for the meal, went back to sleep, then read a story by Somerset Maugham. We’re reading his Ashenden stories—brilliant. Ashenden, based on Maugham’s experience with British intelligence, was the first modern spy fiction series. We recognize him as a fellow over-thinker.

“Ashenden suffered from that distressing malady known as train fever: an hour before his train was due he began to have apprehensions lest he should miss it; he was impatient with the porters who would never bring his luggage down from his room in time and he could not understand why the hotel bus cut it so fine; a block in the street would drive him to frenzy and the languid movements of the station porters infuriate him. The whole world seemed in a horrid plot to delay him; people got in his way as he passed through the barriers; others, a long string of them, were at the ticket-office getting tickets for other trains than his and they counted their change with exasperating care; his luggage took an interminable time to register; and then if he was travelling with friends they would go to buy newspapers, or would take a walk along the platform, and he was certain they would be left behind…”

It took us 10 minutes to get out of Changi Airport—would’ve been faster if we had longer legs. The driver spotted us immediately; 20 minutes later we were at the Ritz-Carlton Millenia. Nice room, excellent view, bathtub by the window. One complaint: the bathrobes are for people six feet tall, they sweep the floor like a cape. On this trip we will pretend to be Ashenden on a mission to recruit an agent.

Now to find a channel that’s showing Law and Order or CSI. We suspect that the real reason we travel is to watch Law and Order or CSI in hotels.

Update: No Law and Order or CSI?? We had to make do with the second season of The Walking Dead. Mmm meaty.