JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

We’ve realized that most people have no idea who John Carter of Mars is, and it’s hard to design a costume that works for someone you don’t know. So we’re moving the deadline to 13 March 2012, after the movie has opened.

Also it might be useful to give the star a GPS or a smartphone with Google apps so he knows where he is at all times and can correct misimpressions.

Here’s Mat wearing the prize during his early evening nap (not to be confused with his twilight siesta).

* * * * *

This is Taylor Kitsch as John Carter in the movie that opens March 9.

Fabulous-looking man, but the loincloth-and-breastplate costume is a little tired. Of course the outfit is faithful to the description supplied by Edgar Rice Burroughs in A Princess of Mars and the succeeding volumes in the John Carter Barsoom series, so the filmmakers are doing their job well. However, much as we love the Barsoom series we grew up on, we think the costume could be freshened up. Edgar Rice Burroughs: wonderful writer of timeless adventures, but what was his other famous creation Tarzan wearing? A loincloth, you know what we’re saying?

Remember those endless Tarzan reruns on Channel 13, where they would show ancient Johnny Weismuller movies like Tarzan’s New York Adventure? In that one, Tarzan travels to Manhattan and he can’t go around in the old loincloth unless it’s Saturday night in Chelsea. So Jane takes him to a tailor, where he proceeds to rip all the suits he tries on with his massive back muscles.

But back to the John Carter costume issue. A couple of years ago we had our super-popular Dress Up the Prince of Persia contest in which we put your designs on Jake Gyllenhaal’s body, and the creators of the best designs won special edition watches. This time we’re asking you to Dress Up John Carter, and the three people who send in the winning designs get special edition John Carter watches you can’t buy in stores.

Remember: the design must be appropriate to the climate, terrain and culture of Mars. Desert, basically, arid, cold at night, warring tribes not all humanoid. Method designers can read A Princess of Mars at Project Gutenberg for the design requirements. (If you’re not designing a costume read it anyway, the series is a blast.)

Make it work, but most of all, Make it fabulous. Send your drawings to saffron.safin@gmail.com. We’ll post your designs daily. Deadline for the submission of entries is on 6 March 2012 at noon.

Thanks to Jay at Disney for the prizes!