JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Of course our life would be neater, more convenient, more efficient if we got an e-book reader. But if we wanted every aspect of our life to be neater, more convenient, more efficient we wouldn’t live with cats or wear funny eyeglasses or write in cursive in paper notebooks.

And we wouldn’t be able to sit in our cluttered house, look at our sagging shelves organized according to the psychic system (“Don’t touch anything, we know exactly where everything is!”) and gloat at our library. Even if we’re going to need a second apartment to stash all our books and stuff in.

Efficiency and convenience are desirable for the things we want to get over with as painlessly as possible. The stuff we love is worth the chaos and drama.

Click on the poster to enlarge.

Expect a surfeit of girls starting a wave at a concert or dressing like Lady Gaga. How unique. What about

1. Trying out as ball girls at the US Open. The little kids will probably kick your ass but it’s about working up the nerve to do it. If you make it we’ll pay you extra to “accidentally” kick certain players in the face as you retrieve their balls.

2. Spending a couple of weeks in the foreign country where the language you’ve been learning for years is spoken—and speaking only that.

3. Building a particle accelerator, armored exoskeleton, jetpack or other science project. Science high school students: You can get funding for your more outré ideas—without having to write a grant proposal, before you even publish in a peer-reviewed journal!

4. Self-publishing a book you and your best friend wrote.

5. Making a movie. P500,000 is the same amount as a Cinemalaya grant.

6. Starting a non-profit organization for literacy, safe water, or a cause you feel very strongly about.

7. Auditioning for spots with the Kirov, the Joffrey Ballet Theatre, Alvin Ailey or Martha Graham. For dancers naturally.

8. We would enroll in an Archaeology course then join an expedition. Always wanted to be Indiana Jones.

9. We would go to Space Camp!

– Why do you look sad?
– I’ve just realized I may be malnourished.
– What are you talking about?
– I am tiny.
– You weight 13, 14 pounds.
– See? Minuscule! I need more treats.

This Mega Monster Cat May Become The Biggest Cat In The World.

You’re about to get your heart broken.

While you wait out the rain delay, watch Rafa Nadal de-toweling Fabio Fognini at Roland Garros. Gracias.

Continue reading at The Oatmeal.