JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
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Archive for September, 2012

Where can we park our boat?

September 17, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing 3 Comments →

What with the weather having gone off its rocker—blazing sunshine one minute, a deluge the next—we’ve been living in our blue Sebagos for weeks. Hey they’re boat shoes. If they can provide traction on the wind-lashed deck of a yacht, they can keep you from sliding on the rainswept streets of this city. We like walking (helps us write) and this particular pair has logged hundreds of kilometers at least; tempting to describe them as “worn-out”, but the blasted shoes will go on for the next few decades. If you’re looking for an excuse to buy a replacement pair, they will not help you; however, if like us you’ve been wearing essentially the same clothes since school (arrested development, but that’s another story), they’re a comfort.

Thankfully a reason to buy more Sebagos has come up: new colors! After two decades of post-preppy laying low, the classic boat shoes are back in fashion thanks to style-setters like Kate Middleton. “For years the fashionable people weren’t wearing Sebago Docksides, you only saw them on dads in their 40s,” said Sebago distributor Gifford Chu. (Gee thanks, Gifford.) “Then kids started raiding their parents’ closets and wearing them again. Now we have different generations coming into our stores.”
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Podcast episode 5 is up

September 17, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Movies, Podcast 4 Comments →

Jessica and Budjette (He’s baaack! again!) shoot the breeze with writer-editor-filmmaker Pepe Diokno, winner of the Lion of the Future award for Best First Film (Engkuwentro) at the 2009 Venice Film Festival, and then nag him to cough up his second movie. With cameos by the back of George Clooney’s head, the whole Jeff Goldblum, and that guy who plays Ice-T’s partner in Law and Order. Plus: How to nearly get killed at a screening of E.T.

Episode 5: Talking Movies with Pepe Diokno is available here. Listen, download, subscribe via iTunes.

Thanks to Juan, Renmin, Manny, and JT’s Manukan!

Podcast quiz:
1. Why did certain people cry while watching Deep Impact?
2. Where will Pepe shoot his next movie?
3. What movie did genius director Celso Ad Castillo call “his Citizen Kane”?
4. How did Pepe get a seat on the flight home despite being late?
5. What is Pepe’s theory on the decline of Filipino movie production from the 1990s to 2009?
6. Which Hollywood star does Budjette do a killer impression of?
7. Which Oscar winner did Pepe shake hands with?
8. What happened to Pepe in the year and a half after he won two trophies in Venice?

Correct answers qualify for the raffle for this


Thanks to National Bookstore!

By the way, we mentioned that we’ve gone to film festivals as the director’s entire entourage, and in the nanosecond before we said “entourage” it occurred to us that we pronounce it in a French-y manner which sounds a bit pretentious so we experimented with a different pronunciation (ehn-tourazh) which just sounds weird. So back to ahn-tourazh.

Killing Elephants: The Santo Niño Connection

September 16, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Crime, Current Events 2 Comments →

Ivory Worship

Thousands of elephants die each year so that their tusks can be carved into religious objects. Can the slaughter be stopped?

By Bryan Christy
Photographs by Brent Stirton

IN JANUARY 2012 A HUNDRED RAIDERS ON HORSEBACK CHARGED OUT OF CHAD INTO CAMEROON’S BOUBA NDJIDAH NATIONAL PARK, SLAUGHTERING HUNDREDS OF ELEPHANTS—entire families—in one of the worst concentrated killings since a global ivory trade ban was adopted in 1989. Carrying AK-47s and rocket-propelled grenades, they dispatched the elephants with a military precision reminiscent of a 2006 butchering outside Chad’s Zakouma National Park. And then some stopped to pray to Allah. Seen from the ground, each of the bloated elephant carcasses is a monument to human greed. Elephant poaching levels are currently at their worst in a decade, and seizures of illegal ivory are at their highest level in years. From the air too the scattered bodies present a senseless crime scene—you can see which animals fled, which mothers tried to protect their young, how one terrified herd of 50 went down together, the latest of the tens of thousands of elephants killed across Africa each year. Seen from higher still, from the vantage of history, this killing field is not new at all. It is timeless, and it is now.

THE PHILIPPINES CONNECTION
In an overfilled church Monsignor Cristobal Garcia, one of the best known ivory collectors in the Philippines, leads an unusual rite honoring the nation’s most important religious icon, the Santo Niño de Cebu (Holy Child of Cebu). The ceremony, which he conducts annually on Cebu, is called the Hubo, from a Cebuano word meaning “to undress.” Several altar boys work together to disrobe a small wooden statue of Christ dressed as a king, a replica of an icon devotees believe Ferdinand Magellan brought to the island in 1521. They remove its small crown, red cape, and tiny boots, and strip off its surprisingly layered underwear. Then the monsignor takes the icon, while altar boys conceal it with a little white towel, and dunks it in several barrels of water, creating his church’s holy water for the year, to be sold outside.

Garcia is a fleshy man with a lazy left eye and bad knees. In the mid-1980s, according to a 2005 report in the Dallas Morning News and a related lawsuit, Garcia, while serving as a priest at St. Dominic’s of Los Angeles, California, sexually abused an altar boy in his early teens and was dismissed. Back in the Philippines, he was promoted to monsignor and made chairman of Cebu’s Archdiocesan Commission on Worship. That made him head of protocol for the country’s largest Roman Catholic archdiocese, a flock of nearly four million people in a country of 75 million Roman Catholics, the world’s third largest Catholic population…

Read it in the National Geographic.

Thanks to Butch for the alert.

Wear a black round neck T-shirt, carry a small purse and don’t work out.

September 14, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Places 5 Comments →

Then no one will ever know you’re gay!

Malaysia’s Education Ministry has issued a list of symptoms of homosexuality so parents can address them.

Symptoms of gays:
• Have a muscular body and like to show their body by wearing V-neck and sleeveless clothes;
• Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes;
• Attracted to men; and
• Like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out.

Symptoms of lesbians:
• Attracted to women;
• Besides their female companions, they will distance themselves from other women;
• Like to hang out, have meals and sleep in the company of women; and
• Have no affection for men.

Test:

Muscular, check. Sleeveless, check. Tight clothes, check. Attracted to men, check (Hangs out with Avengers). Big handbag, check (Technically it’s a hammer but he carries it like a handbag). Light-coloured outfit, no.

Thanks to boboy for the alert.

Do you have a question for Alex Gilvarry?

September 14, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Books 1 Comment →


Alex Gilvarry and National Bookstore’s Xandra Ramos Padilla. Photo by Chad Dee. Follow Alex Gilvarry on twitter, @gilvarry

The author of From the Memoirs of a Non-Enemy Combatant and editor of the Tottenville Review is in Manila to do a signing at the book fair. We’re interviewing him on Saturday for the weekly podcast. Got questions? Post them in Comments; we’ll ask him to read selected questions on the podcast.

From February: Our review of From the Memoirs of a Non-Enemy Combatant.

Interview done, no longer taking questions.

No one really dies in the comic book universe

September 14, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Books 7 Comments →

Marvel Comics has killed off Professor Xavier. Thinking of shaving your head to mourn his passing? Stop. The more you read comics, the more you realize that no one ever really dies in that universe, especially not a character who is well loved. Like Captain America was supposed to have been killed. And how many times has Jean Grey come back? So brewhuh, kids, stop moping and practice your psychokinesis. But watch out for your Mummudrai.