JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

We are traveling but did not want to miss Argo so we asked Warner Brothers if we could get a preview before we left for Bali. Their publicist acceded but said there was a review embargo until 7 October. He also asked that we write it up in our newspaper column. As we’d always intended to review it for Philstar, we said yes.

After we enjoyed the movie, we asked again if 7 October was the earliest date we could run our review. (We could’ve blogged it the minute the movie ended.) The publicist said yes. Then we told him that we intended to publish it on 7 October, just so we’d be first. He encouraged us to do so.

There is really no advantage to putting out a review first, it is not some front page scoop, and anyway there are no more front page scoops in the digital age. However we have been newspaper folk for a long time and we like the rush. Of course we could have just broken the Warner Brothers embargo—no hostages would be endangered in doing so—but we’d like to believe that good manners are important, however the evidence points to the contrary.

On Thursday we were expected at a dinner in which Nick Cave, Jose Ramos Horta, Colson Whitehead and many writers we admire would be in attendance. We had to submit our Sunday column that day because we had official appearances to make the next day. Our editor would have allowed us to skip a column—again, no hostages would be endangered in doing so—but we wanted to put out the review at the earliest possible time. (In fact we could have requested it come out earlier, but there was that embargo.) This may seem stupid or masochistic, but we love our work. We love newspapering, we owe it our career.

So while everyone was asking Jeffrey Eugenides whether that character in The Marriage Plot really was based on David Foster Wallace (That’s what we thought we’d ask him, until we did speak and the first thing out of our mouth was that turkey baster story), we were in our villa writing our Argo review. (It could’ve been better-written, but that’s how we feel about everything we churn out.)

Yesterday, 6 October, Juan messaged us that a review of Argo had appeared in another newspaper that morning. We texted the publicist to ask if the other paper had broken the embargo. Then it occurred to us to ask if the purpose of the embargo was to allow the other paper to get the first review out. The publicist’s reply was: “Sorry, didn’t know how to tell you.”

So we had been handicapped from putting out our Argo piece so somebody could get a secret head start. Oh brilliant. We have no issue with the other reviewer—that’s what newspaper people do. If Warner had said right out that there was a deal with another paper, fine. What rankles is that we acted on good faith and were jerked around for it. As people who act in good faith frequently are, unfortunately, which is how they get mistaken for suckers. And we missed that dinner. (At the next dinner we were seated with Iranian writers. Guess what we talked about.)

This is a long way of restating what the movie says so succinctly: Argo fuck yourselves.

* * * * *

Ben Affleck directs, stars in Argo.

Frankly I thought Ben Affleck was a goner. When you go from struggling actor to Academy Award-winning star, and then headline turkeys like Gigli as the consort of Jenny from the Block, the same people who cheered you on during your early triumphs will be rooting for your downfall. In truth, I didn’t think Good Will Hunting, his breakthrough movie with Matt Damon, was that great. I liked it well enough, but what really appealed to me was the backstory: best friends who couldn’t pay the rent suddenly make it very big. Damon made the wise career choices; Affleck picked Pearl Harbor and Daredevil. He turned himself into a punchline.

Read our review of Argo today in the Philippine Star.