Rules to drink by
There’s only one way to get through this season without shoving a karaoke microphone up a happy reveler’s nostril. Drink. Read The 86 Rules of Boozing at Modern Drunkard.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.
82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
December 22nd, 2012 at 09:48
Are there any guidelines on surviving the non-stop assault of “Gangnam Style”? I thought I’d develop an immunity for it but my resistance is weakening by the second. The worst part is being forced to dance to it under threat of being disqualified from receiving Christmas goodies or being accused of being a killjoy. There should be some sort of etiquette for very popular Korean dance songs.
December 22nd, 2012 at 16:11
Unfortunately Filipino culture places a very high value on pakikisama. You are required to make an ass of yourself in public, lest by declining you put yourself in a position where you can laugh at the willing asses. (No offense to donkeys, who have no choice.) Have a drink, it’ll be over soon.
December 22nd, 2012 at 17:02
Alas, I don’t drink. Everyone I say this to reacts with incredulity. Everyone. I don’t need alcohol, thank you. My choices for substance abuse are sucrose, caffeine, and theobromine.
Thankfully most of my family have accepted that I am an antisocial mutant, and don’t try to rope me into group activities.