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The housebreakers of Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring

The media is supposed to call out these superficial idiots, but they’re too busy pandering to the superficial idiots in the audience. Instead of asking, “How could you do this?” they ask, “When you met someone you had robbed, wasn’t it, like, awkward?” Those who see the shallowness and venality of their actions are punished, while the warped and clueless are celebrated in the media.

Our review is finally up at InterAksyon.com, minus the T.S. Eliot reference in the title.

Artist/UP Fine Arts professor/production designer/our friend and in-house critic Leo Abaya is making his feature film debut at Cinemalaya 2013. Leo is the writer and director of Instant Mommy starring Eugene Domingo, Yuki Matsuzaki and Luis Alandy.

We’ve seen the work-in-progress (in our secret identity as The Subtitlist)—it’s delightful! Deceptively light and diverting, Instant Mommy has much to say about perception, reality, the lies we tell others and the lies we tell ourselves. Watch it.

Screening Schedule

CCP Venues – Main Theater (M), Little Theater(L), MKP Hall (MKP), Huseng Batute (THB)
Other Venues – Makati Greenbelt 3 Cinemas (GBC3), Alabang-Alabang Town Center (ATC) QC- Trinoma Cinemas (TRI)

July 27 Sat 12:45PM/CCP MKP Hall (MKP), 9PM GBC3-3
July 28 Sun 1:30PM/GBC3-5 , 4PM/ATC,
6:15PM/CCP Little Theater (LT)
July 29 Mon 3:30PM GALA/CCP Main Theater (MT) ,
9PM/Teatrong Huseng Batute (THB)
July 30 Tue 4PM/TRI-2, 9PM/TRI-11
July 31 Wed 1:30 PM/TRI 2, 4PM/GBC3-3
Aug 1 Thur 1:30PM/ATC, 9PM/MT
Aug 2 Fri 4PM/TRI-2, 6:15PM/MKP
Aug 3 Sat 4PM/TRI1-1, 9PM/THB
Aug 4 1:30PM/GBC3-5

In 1983 when she was doing a play in New York, Farrah Fawcett took a gypsy van (colorum taxi) driven by this horrible man who pointed a screwdriver in her face and demanded all her money. Well she wasn’t the action heroine of our childhood for nothing. Blank on Blank recreates/remixes that encounter from a 1994 TV Guide interview.

Jason Everman with Nirvana. He’s the blonde with long hair next to Kurt Cobain. Photo by Ian Tilton.

I asked if he ever talked about it. Jason shook his head no. Did they find out anyway? “Always.”

The first time was at Fort Benning in 1994, in the middle of the hell of basic training. The ex-cop recruits in boot camp with him said that prisoners had more freedom than they did. There were guys who faked suicide attempts to get out of basic. But Everman never had any doubts. “I was 100 percent,” he told me. “If I wasn’t, there was no way I’d get through it.”

With Special Forces in Kunar Province, Afghanistan. Photo from Jason Everman.

He had three drill sergeants, two of whom were sadists. Thank God it was the easygoing one who saw it. He was reading a magazine, when he slowly looked up and stared at Everman. Then the sergeant walked over, pointing to a page in the magazine. “Is this you?” It was a photo of the biggest band in the world, Nirvana. Kurt Cobain had just killed himself, and this was a story about his suicide. Next to Cobain was the band’s onetime second guitarist. A guy with long, strawberry blond curls. “Is this you?”

Everman exhaled. “Yes, Drill Sergeant.”

Read The Rock ‘n’ Roll Casualty Who Became A War Hero by Clay Tarver at the NYT Magazine.

If your childhood was anything like ours in that dark, forgotten era before import liberalization and globalization, then you know shopping for shoes for the new schoolyear was a taxing experience. Our mother would haul us to every shoe store in Cubao and make us try every black school shoe in existence. “Does it fit? Does it pinch your toes? What about the back? Try walking in them. Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?”

At some point we would say yes to all questions just to get the ordeal over with, and we’d end up wearing ill-fitting shoes for months. Around this time we became convinced that bespoke—custom-made—shoes were the most wonderful things ever. You wouldn’t have to go from one store to another trying on shoes that had touched other people’s sweaty feet—you would call your bespoke shoemaker and order shoes in the style that you wanted. A week or so later, they would appear. We don’t want designer labels, we want stuff made for us only.

The other day our friend (and supplier of hand-woven abel Iloko fabric) Rene introduced us to Sheryll, who owns Shoes by Kai. Sheryll has always loved shoes, and after a few visits to Liliw, Laguna the tsinelas capital, she decided to go into business. With a small team of artisans, she produces handmade shoes. One of her ideas was to incorporate local ethnic weaves into her shoe designs. Voila: Smoking slippers in abel Iloko. (Now we have to get a smoking jacket. And a very long cigarette holder. Just for props because we don’t smoke.)

This photo and photos below courtesy of Sheryll Quiming Gempis

We took our smoking slippers for a nice, long walk yesterday—they’re very comfortable and practical, plus the probability of running into anyone wearing the same shoes is extremely low. The inside is lined and soft; the soles are light and flexible so you can fold the shoes, stash them in a bag and take them anywhere. Spare shoes! Like those bendy ballet flats, only they’re made of artisanal, eco-friendly, indigenous (3 buzzwords!) materials. Say you’re going to meetings or social events where you would prefer to tower over other people. When your feet are about to commit suicide, take off the heels and slip these on.

Other ethnic weave designs from Shoes by Kai: Open-toed gold shoes with abel wedges.

Oxfords, also available in black.

Le smoking slippers and capped toe flats. Yay, we’re going to get lasts made so the shoemakers can make pieces to our specifications. Of course our ideal shoemaker is Daniel Day-Lewis, but he’s not taking orders at the moment.

Red shoes with op-art abel Iloko wedges.

The prices are surprisingly affordable. To order, contact shoesbykai@gmail.com or visit their facebook page.

The BBC presenter John Inverdale has apologised to the Wimbledon champion Marion Bartoli for describing her as “not a looker” shortly before her win on Saturday, calling his remarks clumsy and ham-fisted.

The BBC was forced to apologise after Inverdale, speaking before Bartoli’s match against Sabine Lisicki, told listeners of Radio 5 Live: “Do you think Bartoli’s dad told her when she was little: ‘You’re never going to be a looker, you’ll never be a Sharapova, so you have to be scrappy and fight’?”

Continue reading at the Guardian.

Tapos yung mga di kagandahan, sila pa ang malakas manlait sa anyo ng iba. (Self-loathing?) Sino nga ba ang madalas na nagmamaganda?

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From Cooper and Butler: A Wimbledon Love Story, at Vulture. Uuyyy, selfies. Below them, the President of Serbia.

Text exchange with two sportswriters

Us: And while Britain weeps for joy, Scotland declares independence and names Andy Murray president.

LeK: Wahaha! Ees about time. Sean Connery for prime minister!

Us: Dali! Sulsulan mo in exchange for a lifetime supply of single malt.

LeK: Good deal. Let’s all take the high road!

Us: Well you do have a personal stake in the fate of the Scotch, este Scots.

LeK: Of course. Noon pa, Scotland Forever. What Robert the Bruce started, Andy, Sean, Nessie and I will finish!

FireQ: Hahaha! What do you think of this small group pissed kasi hindi raw 77 years ang British drought because there are women who won during that period?

Us: Kuraz! Hindi ba Ingles si Virginia Wade?

FireQ: Yup, pero parang namimilosopo na sila hehe.

Us: Baka kasi sabi ng tatay nila hindi sila kagandahan kaya’t kailangang mamilosopo.