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Illy Espressamente, your coffee is great, but is the tiramisu supposed to rise from the plate in a single solid mass when you stick a fork in it?

Is the mascarpone supposed to have the chewy consistency of bubble gum, or has it merely coagulated from sitting inside a vitrine for several days?

Is your tiramisu an hommage to the chewy Pinoy candy called tira-tira? Or does tira-tira in this case mean “unsold baked goods”?

The waiter said we had to pour the shot of espresso over the tiramisu in order to enjoy it fully. Oh, thank you. As we were sharing the cake with a pregnant woman who was already over-caffeinated, we poured the espresso over our half of the tiramisu. We thought the espresso was supposed to soak into the sponge cake and ladyfingers and give it an intense coffee flavor. Is the espresso really meant to run off the hard surface of the tiramisu and spill onto the plate?

How old is this tiramisu?

How old are the pastries in the vitrine? Is their firm, attractive appearance the result of fossilization?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

* Drogon. Drogon the white cat has recovered fully from his respiratory infection. He will be home Tuesday, after he gets neutered. Our cats are looking forward to his return with great excitement…okay, they’re bored as usual, but with the new arrival there should be some interesting chase scenes. They could use the exercise.

* FLIP. The magazines with Joel Torre on the cover have been delivered to JT’s Manukan for JT to sign. Joel is in Zambales, but will autograph them when he gets back midweek. Your reserved copies should be in Manukan branches by Saturday. Call your branch to check.

* The writing workshop. We have already alerted the participants to our first writing workshop. The workshop dates will be announced as soon as we get confirmation from our sponsor. We’re getting a sponsor to defray the costs so we don’t have to charge the participants. Processing will take a bit longer. In the meantime, we have room for four more participants. Send the requirements to saffron.safin@gmail.com until 15 September.

1. It’s about a group of poor people trying to get into Forbes Park.

2. It’s a fairy tale, Occupy Elysium, in which the 99 percent rise up against the 1 percent.

3. It’s a simplistic but still engaging treatise on the class struggle, with technology as the ultimate equalizer.

4. It is a cautionary tale about throwing big Hollywood money at a plucky outsider (Neill Blomkamp, who made District 9) and throwing everything on the screen in an effort to make USD100 million on opening weekend.

5. It is a heartening tale of a filmmaker who gets away with his socio-political agenda in a Hollywood setting.

6. It is a drama of immigration in which citizenship is the solution to most problems. This drama is expressed as a battle of accents: Jodie Foster’s French and Sharlto Copley’s South African vs. Matt Damon’s American and Diego Luna and Wagner Moura’s Latino.

7. It’s Matt Damon saving the world, and we have no problem with that.

8. It is a vision of a terrifying future in which sarcasm is punishable by law. We would last 5 minutes in that place.

Verdict: Watch.

Tawang-tawa kami sa sketch na ito sa Bubble Gang dahil yan mismo ang sinasabi namin sa mga kakilalang nalulong sa social media. Salamat, Bitoy.

Turmukoy suggested that since the annual National Bookstore Cut-Price Book Sale is on, this would be a good time for our readers to exchange notes on their most recent book buys. So what have you acquired lately?

We were familiar with David B.—Chus made us read his Epileptic—but we hadn’t heard of this one.

The book contains three novellas based on Muslim legend and history: The Veiled Prophet, The Armed Garden, and The Drum Who Fell In Love.

We like reading mythology and history. Leafing through the book, we saw swords and armor, battles, ghosts, and, seriously, a drum that falls in love. When we saw the pricetag of this hardcover edition from Fantagraphics Books—Php465—we thought it was mistake and hoped the cashier wouldn’t notice. But it wasn’t an error, and there was a 20 percent discount. Final price: Php372.

Even without the plastic jacket that reminded us of those overlays in anatomic diagrams in our old encyclopedia, we would’ve bought this on the basis of its title: The Unclothed Man in the 35th Century.

Then we saw that it is funny. Sold! Fantagraphics hardcover, Php372 after the discount.

There are more copies of these books in the graphic novels showcase facing the entrance of NBS Power Plant. Rightmost shelf.

Guests consider six paintings by Ricky Villabona, displayed as one piece.

If you still haven’t seen the group show Inspired by Gardens at the gallery of the Pinto Art Museum in Antipolo, you have all weekend to catch the exhibit. The show ends on Tuesday and the museum is closed on Mondays, so there’s no time like the weekend.

Make a day of it: Drive to Antipolo with friends or family, have a leisurely lunch at Vieux Chalet, Crescent Moon, or at the cafe operated by Bizu in the museum gardens, see the exhibit, and stroll around the beautiful museum and gardens. Get out of the city and breathe.

Pinto trivia: Many movies have been shot in the house on the museum grounds, including our beloved Salawahan by Ishmael Bernal. Which is being remade by Chris Martinez. Chris ha.

Pinto Art Museum is at No. 1 Sierra Madre St., Grandheights Subdivision, Antipolo. For inquiries, call Mikey Blanco at 09163187558.