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In 2014 we’re giving a series of talks at the Ayala Museum. The talks will be held on three Saturday afternoons at 3pm and are open to the public. Admission is Php350 (to be confirmed); the price includes an exclusive e-book (with a print on demand option). Each talk will be followed by an open forum, merienda, and book-signing. Obviously we can’t sign e-books so we’ll put the download code on a specially-designed card or notebook.

7 June 2014: Don’t Be A Writer. The hazards of the writing life, the perils of the profession, things we wish we’d known before we decided that our primary occupation would be ‘writer’. The writing process, our favorite assignments and interviews, strange side projects, how to beat a deadline.

George R.R. Martin visited Middle Earth.

5 July 2014: Game of Thrones, History and Fantasy. By July season 4 of the TV series will have aired, and we’ll need to huddle around the books and process what we just saw. We’ll cover the books and the TV series, historical inspirations for Westeros, fantasy epics—The Lord of the Rings and The Once and Future King, medieval epics—Le Morte d’Arthur, the Nibelungenlied, mythological epics—the Iliad, the Odyssey, and just geek out, generally.

2 August 2014: We don’t have a topic yet. Any suggestions? Movies, tennis, cats? What specifically about movies, tennis, cats? What would you like us to talk about? Post suggestions in Comments; if we pick yours, you can come to the talk as our guest.

Update: The Ayala Museum took a poll, and the winning topic iiiiissssss…World Domination. The talk will cover world domination theory, ongoing campaigns, and organizing the conquest.

Tickets will be available at the Ayala Museum next year. We’ll alert you as soon as they go on sale.

For the November LitWit Challenge, we asked readers to write a letter to Andres Bonifacio, whose 150th birthday we marked last Saturday.

maelynda wrote a formal, respectful letter about her personal acquaintance with the life and legacy of Bonifacio, the gaps in our education, and our national failure to deal with our revolutionary past.

the boomerang kid wrote a poem about Bonifacio in rhyming quatrains. Nice effort, but it reminds us of grade school declamation contests.

Solace sent Bonifacio a bunch of questions, then says she/he doesn’t know much about Bonifacio. Why write to him then? (‘Because this is a contest’ is not an answer.) The tearing of the cedula is emphasized in a manner that suggests it is the only thing the writer knows about Bonifacio.

regtol opens with a cute greeting (‘I thought you’d also be a Scorpio’), as if this were a pitch for a romantic comedy. He proceeds to hurt our eyes with purple prose and naive assumptions that would not be out of place in a high school literary magazine.

lizagaspar also makes cute and addresses the Supremo as an equal. She also has not read much about Bonifacio, or she would know that he didn’t actually win any battles with his bolo. Then she says ‘My writing is good’ and proceeds to contradict herself.

The winner of the November LitWit Challenge is maelynda. Congratulations! You win Php1,000 in gift certificates from National Bookstore. Please post your full name in Comments (It won’t be published). We’ll alert you when you can pick up your prize at the Customer Service Counter of National Bookstore at Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati.

Update: maelynda, you can pick up your prize tomorrow. Call first; their number is (02)8974562.

The LitWit Challenge is brought to you by National Bookstore.

We enjoy translating stories into Tagalog, and we love the BBC series Sherlock (The third series premieres in the UK on New Year’s Day), so why don’t we merge our interests and translate the Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle into Tagalog?

Can it be done? How do you say “Elementary, my dear Watson” in Tagalog?

Holmes never says “Elementary, my dear Watson”. Sometimes he says “Elementary” and sometimes, “my dear Watson”, but never in a single phrase. It’s like “He’s dead, Jim”, a line widely attributed to Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy in classic Star Trek, which Bones never utters.

So how do you say “Elementary”? Or “deduction”?

“The game is afoot?”

Uro suggests: 1. Binalasa na ang mga baraha. 2. Ikinamada na ang mga pitsa. 3. Inihagis na ang bola. 4. Umiinog na ang sinanduyong.

How about: Tara!

The Sherlock Holmes Translation Team. What do you think? Would you like to join us? The 24 short stories are here; which one do you want to work on? Would you prefer to do one of the novels? Could you finish it in a month or do you need more time? Tell us.

The house in Godard’s Contempt belonged to Curzio Malaparte.

Archicine by Federico Babina in ArchDaily. via Flavorwire.

From the time we saw Brian De Palma’s woefully underrated Femme Fatale in 2002, we have been looking for this piece by Ryuichi Sakamoto. (The movie’s closing credits are no help at all.) Here it is, and of course it’s called Bolerish.

Read the review of Norte in Film Comment.

Sight & Sound Names “Act of Killing” Top Film of 2013

1. “The Act of Killing,” Joshua Oppenheimer, Denmark/U.K./Norway/Germany/Finland/Sweden/Netherlands/Poland
2. “Gravity,” Alfonso Cuaron, Mexico/U.S.
3. “Blue Is the Warmest Color,” Abdellatif Kechiche, Belgium/Spain/France
4. “The Great Beauty,” Paolo Sorrentino, France/Italy
5. “Frances Ha,” Noah Baumbach, Brazil/U.S.
=6. “A Touch of Sin,” Jia Zhangke, China
=6. “Upstream Color,” Shane Carruth, U.S.
8. “The Selfish Giant,” Clio Barnard, U.K.
=9. “Norte, the End of History,” Lav Diaz, Philippines
=9. “Stranger by the Lake,” Alain Guiraudie, France

We texted Lav Diaz the news. His reply: “Wasak. Nasa Babuyan Islands area. Shooting.”

* * * * *

How We Became An Executive Producer of Norte, the End of History

Disclaimer: This is a product of randomness and sheer dumb luck. Any resemblance to the actual work of executive producers is coincidental.

Short Version: We have a big mouth and a habit of interfering in our friends’ projects (pakialamera).

Itemized:

1. Initially, we were in the cheering section.

In 2012 our friends decided to make a movie. Wacky O read a news story about a convict who made parol—Xmas lanterns. “That’s our movie,” she declared.

“Yay, we’re making a movie!”

2. Someone mentioned Dostoevsky.

Rody Vera was working on the screenplay. He said it was loosely based on Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

“Dostoevsky!” we cried. “Russian lit!” Then we hounded the team to see Robert Bresson’s sort-of adaptation of C+P, Pickpocket.

3. Lav Diaz signed on as director.

“Uhh…cinematic genius, yes, and makes six, eight, eleven-hour movies. Better put a clause in the contract specifying that the finished film should be no more than two and a half hours long,” we told producer Moira L.

The finished film went over our suggested limit—it is four hours and ten minutes long—but it is one of the shortest films in Lav Diaz’s oeuvre.

4. The film was called Norte, Ang Hangganan ng Kasaysayan, and it went to the Cannes Film Festival.

Norte got glowing reviews and distribution offers.

5. Moira L. wanted to handle the business end of Norte.

“Then why don’t you buy it?” we said.

6. Quite inadvertently, we found funding.

“Can we get producer credit?” we asked Moira L.

“Executive producer,” said Moira L.

And that’s how we got our name affixed to a masterwork.

Norte, Ang Hangganan ng Kasaysayan, will be shown at the Cinemanila Film Festival this month.