JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Kevin is fascinated with dinosaurs and Godzilla. He’s been a fan of Gojira since he was 5, having discovered the Japanese Godzilla movies on YouTube. His YouTube handle (for when he actually posts a video one day) is GodzillaFan8889 (Dorski, his mother, has no idea why). He has eight Godzilla figures so far, the newest addition being Godzilla 2014 with Atomic Roar (a blue flame shoots out of his mouth).

Warning: Contains spoilers. (We’ve redacted the biggest ones, but still.)

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Opening Credits
Here it is…I think this is it…(with a tinge of doubt as newsreels are shown)

Title
Oh my gosh, yes! It’s Godzilla!

15 minutes in
Ewww. They’re kissing! (the people)

00:20:00
Muto! IT’S THE MUTO!

00:30:00
It’s been 30 minutes and still no Godzilla.

00:45:00
Yes! I see his huge tail!

01:15:00
Ewww. They’re kissing! (the others)

01:30:00
Wow! It’s an epic battle! Fight!

01:45:00
I hate this movie.

02:10:00
I love this movie!

We totally agree with Kevin. Godzilla brings back the Godzilla we love. (We have no memory of the 90s Godzilla, just the urge to stomp something.) Director Gareth Edwards’ approach is Spielbergian without the rampant sentimentality. Bryan Cranston is its emotional core. True, Bryan Cranston can do no wrong in our eyes—we don’t care if others see him as a ham sandwich in a fright wig. Any chance he could be in Game of Thrones? (If Mycroft Holmes can be in the Iron Bank of Braavos, couldn’t Walter White be Jon Connington? The Three-Eyed Crow? The Mad King?)

We’ve asked Antiquary Anne to render some of the best-known first lines in literature in calligraphy. Coming up are the usual suspects: Moby Dick, Anna Karenina, The Great Gatsby, The Hobbit. Do you have any requests?

Not a first line, but a passage from the first page of The Age of Innocence, commissioned for Noel.

13.7 billion years in 45 seconds.

The classic handwoven silk carpet

We want them to stay put in our houses so we can walk barefoot on them, sit on them, sleep on them, and most of all look at them. They make furniture seem redundant.

Tribal carpet in a medallion pattern

On Saturday, 17 May at 6pm, In Touch Community Services is holding an Oriental Carpet Auction at the Bahia on the 14th floor of the InterContinental Hotel on Ayala, Makati. This is an event they do twice a year to raise funds for the community services of In Touch, such as the free and confidential psychological counseling helpline whose numbers appear on the left side of this page.

A highly unusual design, featuring cats.

You’ll see dozens of gorgeous pieces from the weaving centers of the world, and get a chance to acquire them at prices lower than you can imagine. The auction is not only great fun, but you’ll come away feeling like an expert on the history and traditions of carpet-weaving.

For inquiries and ticket reservations, contact In Touch at (02)893-1893 or (02)810-6233, or email intouch@i-manila.com.ph. If you’re from a media organization and wish to cover the event, drop us a line in Comments or email saffron.safin@gmail.com.

Cocktails will be served.

51. Saving Mr. Banks. Just a spoonful of Emma Thompson makes any movie go down well, although we heard terrible things about the recent one with Pierce Brosnan.

52. Four Weddings and A Funeral. On the occasion of its 20th anniversary, we re-viewed the movie to see if we would still enjoy it. We did, although with age comes certain questions like “Charles (Hugh Grant), you dolt, why are you mooning after the American when Fiona (Kristin Scott-Thomas) is on the premises?”

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After Juan mentioned that the number one movie in Australia last week was not The Amazing Spider-Man 2 but Chinese Puzzle, a French movie starring Romain Duris, we remembered our membership in the Romain Duris fan club (since 2007 when we saw The Beat That My Heart Skipped). We feared we had been remiss in our duties and watched Romain’s 2010 film Heartbreaker (L’Arnacoeur).

Heartbreaker demonstrates that the French can make a rom-com as silly, fluffy and improbable as any Hollywood product, but since we’re kept busy reading the English subtitles we don’t have time to pick holes in the plot. Romain plays a man hired by disapproving relatives to break up relationships they deem unsuitable. Why the father of Vanessa Paradis’s character would want to disrupt her forthcoming nuptials to the perfect man played by Sheriff Walking Dead, we have no idea; we thought all parents were on the side of rich, safe and boring. Romain’s plan: to exploit her fondness for George Michael and the film Dirty Dancing. Seems a stupid plan, until we see this.

47. A Thousand Times Good Night. Not even Nikolaj Coster Waldau’s presence could keep us interested in this well-meaning drama about a photojournalist who finds her duty to the truth in conflict with her duties to her family.

48. 47 Ronin. Not as bad as we expected. Always happy to see Keanu.

49. Summer in February. Cousin Matthew left Downton Abbey for this?

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Images from Nerdcore Movement

While dosing myself with caffeine in order to stay awake at the entertaining but over-long Amazing Spider-Man 2, it occurred to me that the main difference between 1970s-80s pop culture and today’s is the target demographic. In the past, movies, TV, music and books were made mostly for the adults, who decided how the family’s funds would be spent. Today the decisions are made by the teenagers and the pre-teens, whose parents are absent, too tired, or too busy to argue with their kids’ choices.

Thus, producers and publishers pander shamelessly to the teen market. It’s a very practical and successful approach, but somewhat short-sighted and cynical. They flatter the target audience, telling them that their life-experience—limited as it is, since they haven’t been around very long—is the most important experience any person could have. At the point when teenagers are basically driven by hormonal impulses, they are told that their feelings will decide the course of history. Nothing else matters! “You are the center of the universe,” popular culture declares, and what teen still living under parental authority wouldn’t enjoy hearing that?

Read our column at InterAksyon.com.