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In the Wall Street Journal: In Defeat, A Vintage Federer Appears

And we’re not being crazy fans. Did you see the final?* He lost the match, but the beautiful strokes are back.

Which is not to disparage Djokovic. He deserved the victory. (Obviously we will no longer depend on The Fed for our victory fix, just for the tennis.)

Where Federer always wins: The writing on Federer is far superior to the writing on any other player.

* We had decided not to watch the final because our nerves have had enough exercise. Besides, we don’t have cable in the house. We dropped by Juan’s house to get a look at the first set, but FoxSports on Destiny Cable was on some kind of loop last Sunday at 2130, and after we had seen the same report on Neymar’s injury thrice we went home.

Photo by Jackie Ongking

David Byrne’s expression says: I thought we were just having drinks with friends.

Butch Perez’s expression says: What are all these people doing in my living room?

And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house
And you may tell yourself
Who the hell posted the invitation on Facebook?

Okay, David Byrne has moved on from Talking Heads, but apparently we haven’t.

His next project after Here Lies Love, the Imelda Marcos musical: a Joan of Arc musical.

Human, cat, Roni, book.

Thanks for coming to my personal appearance at the human’s book-signing last Saturday. You can see all the pictures at

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Meanwhile, we must check our Minister of Propaganda Allan into Camera360 rehab for abusing what Deo calls “beauty by filtration”.

Also, thanks to Evan for figuring out that the reason I was listless and refused to come out of my carrier was because I was wearing a harness. I hate harnesses! A Drogon is not a slave.

And thanks to Cibo for letting us have the book-signings at their cafes. Catch the book-signings later this year at Cibo in Gateway, Greenhills, and Robinson’s Magnolia. I will be present if the malls allow cats.

Photo by Rene Guatlo

We bought some shirts at Glorietta 5 today and used all the cash in our wallet. No problem, we figured, the mall is dotted with ATMs. Then we went to the nearest automated teller near the washrooms at Glorietta 5 and put our Banco de Oro card into a Chinabank machine that displayed all the logos of the different ATM networks.

The ATM spat out our card and said our account had been blocked. No explanation was given.

So we called the Banco de Oro hotline. According to the call center operator, our account had been blocked because our ATM card had been used recently in an area that was prone to fraud.

Which hotbeds of criminal activity were they referring to? Glorietta 5 where we’d just tried to use the card, or Power Plant Mall in Rockwell, or Bonifacio High Street?

The operator advised us to have the card replaced at our BDO branch, a process which would take five to seven working days. Of course she issued a thousand apologies—all of which mean absolutely nothing, none of which make up for the inconvenience they have just caused us.

We know that while yelling at the operator would release the rage boiling in our system, it is not the operator’s fault that her employer’s systems are idiotic. She probably does not get paid enough to absorb public execration for her employers. If you need any proof that capitalism is evil: the underlings get the shit that the overlords richly deserve, the overlords get the big bucks no matter what dunderheads they are. (Arrogant underlings behaving as if they were overlords is another issue.)

Therefore while we were seriously tempted to follow our Jedi Master’s lead (Call people’s mothers whores and call their paternity into question), we merely told the operator to relay our hatred towards her corporate masters, who cooked up this lame excuse (fraud-prone area, your ass) not to hand over our money. Hey, here are some advertising slogans. We make ways…to cause you inconvenience. We make ways…to ruin your day. We make ways…to make money off you while you thank us for handing over what is your money in the first place. We make ways…to promote the rights of morons by putting them in charge of our ATMs.

So we shall start our week by telling the branch manager: YOUR BANK SUCKS.

Has this happened to you? Tell us your story.

Tickets are now available at the Ayala Museum reception counter. Reservations are available through online payment at their BPI account 0011-1490-14; email the deposit slip to pena.jd@ayalafoundation.org.

Schedule:

Saturday, 2 August, 3-5pm: Don’t Be A Writer. The horrors, terrors, aggravations, anxieties, pleasures and eventual rewards of the writing life.

Saturday, 6 September, 3-5pm: Game of Thrones, Fantasy Epics and Geek Civilization. The hottest show on television, based on the books by “the American Tolkien” George R.R. Martin, is much more than kings, swords, wars, traitors, dragons, sorcerers, and direwolves. It draws on real history, myth and the classics of fantasy fiction. Look under the dragon’s scales with other science-fiction and fantasy nerds.

Saturday, 4 October, 3-5pm: The World Domination Report. Exactly 20 years ago, we unveiled the Filipino campaign to take over the world via Yaya. Listen to the progress report on our global colonization plan.

Fees:
Adult Pass: Php350/lecture, Php950 for the three lectures
Discounted Pass: Pho250/lecture, Php650 for the three. The discounted rate applies to students, teachers, senior citizens and Ayala Museum members.

The fee includes an Ayala Museum Full-Day Pass and an exclusive e-book by Jessica Zafra (a different e-book per lecture).

For inquiries contact pena.jd@ayalafoundation.org or visit the Ayala Museum on Facebook.

Buy your copies of The Stories So Far (fiction, hardcover, Php399) and Geeks Vs Jocks (essays, hardcover, Php399) at the Library of Babel online store, or right at the venue, Cibo on the third floor of Power Plant Mall in Rockwell, Makati. We’ll be signing books from 2pm to 4pm.

Get the special price of Php699 if you buy both books.

* * * * *

Drogon Q&A

Q. You’re an all-white cat with blue eyes. Are you deaf?
A. Ask me again and I’ll bite your face off.
Q. Can we have our picture taken with you?
A. Yes, but don’t attempt to touch me because if I take a sudden dislike to you I may bite your face off. My designated yayas will be there to hold me for photos.
Q. What are your hobbies?
A. Grooming and chasing my toys.
Q. Do you have any messages from your human?
A. Don’t ask her how she is. She knows that you are concerned and mean well and thanks you for it, but she is tired of answering questions about her health. It has been a month since she left the hospital. If she weren’t feeling all right, she would not be having a book-signing.
Q. Where are you from?
A. Duh, Old Valyria.
Q. Shouldn’t you be named Viserion since you are creamy white?
A. Who wants to be named after that wuss?
Q. Will your human be doing other book-signings?
A. Maybe, maybe not. To be sure, attend her talks at the Ayala Museum.