Archive for August, 2014
Cinemalaya X: The Economics of Indie Cinema
At the Cinemalaya awards night last Sunday, the talk was less about the art and craft of film than intellectual property rights and economics. The previous day, filmmakers from the 8th and 9th editions of the annual indie film festival discovered that their films had been uploaded to YouTube in their entirety. The films were taken down, and the Cinemalaya Foundation issued apologies at the closing ceremonies, but it will take some time before the indie community stops seeing Cinemalaya as The Big Bad.
This is not the first controversy Cinemalaya has been embroiled in, but it is certainly the worst because it calls into question the very integrity of the project. We will wait for the outcome of the dialogue between the Cinemalaya Foundation and the filmmakers (Though it was a major jerk move, trying to pin the blame on technical staff). We hope that the foundation invites the most vocal critics of its policies, that these critics show up, and that the discussion is calm and productive. It is difficult to reach a consensus on Twitter, much less delve deeply into the issues.
For now we interrupt our Cinemalaya X reviews—which are late anyway (We blame the weather and especially the horrible traffic, which has reached civil rights violation levels)—to look into the cost of making indies, and their economic potential.
Robin Williams is dead.
He was found dead in his house, an apparent suicide.
We practically memorized Robin Williams Live At The Met, and still use his jokes in everyday conversation (“It was dark, it was light, it was dark, it was light,” “…pants so tight you can see what religion they are,” etc).
We suddenly remembered that New York Times profile in which the writer described Robin Williams at the drive-through window at McDonald’s, ordering in the voice of Jodie Foster as Nell. Thank you, Mr. Williams.
The Piollow Experience, a bekimmentary
A Bekimmentary by Allan Carreon and Deo Giga
We sent the Minister of Propaganda and the Lord of the Thesaurus to the press launch for the E! News Asia special on Philippine King of Heartthrobs Piolo Pascual. Here is their report.
Lord of the Thesaurus (LOT): Ohmygawd! I just came from the bathroom. Guess who was there! Papa P! You should’ve joined me!
Minister of Propaganda (MOP): Okay, excuse me. Now I need to pee. (After a few minutes) Grabe! He’s so tall pala!
LOT: I know! I was dwarfed. I couldn’t pee because the handicapped stall was locked. I couldn’t pee in front of Papa P!
MOP: Maybe that’s why they call him Papa P. We get so starstruck, mapapa-pee ka na lang next time!
LOT: I wasn’t so much starstruck as I was star-terrified.
MOP: Sumisixteen, teh? PBB Teens lang? Me, walang keme-keme. I went inside the stall, although I couldn’t look him in the eye. Not with a bodyguard following me in. Do I look like Erika Christensen in Swimfan?
LOT: If it’s dark. Really, really dark. Like, pitch black.
MOP: I saw the actress who played the maid in Kimmy Dora. She’s also in Moon of Desire, which—judge me now. She was in the bathroom talking to Papa P. I suspect that’s even less appropriate than me hanging around in there. Surprisingly, I actually wanted her autograph more than Papa P’s.
LOT: I believe she’s Papa P’s PA.
MOP: Even in the washroom, he needs a PA? What sort of assistance does he need inside the men’s room? And can I apply for the job?
LOT: You know, this pasta tastes like nothing.
MOP: It’s pasta? I never would’ve thought!
LOT: And you would think a place as ritzy as this would at least try to stay away from artificial creamer and give us the real stuff!
MOP: And use cups that don’t look like they came from Rodic’s.
(Note: Rodic’s is a diner in the UP Shopping Center.)
LOT: The presscon is starting!
MOP: The host is a girl. She’s so sosyal. Can I also have her job?
LOT: Only if you can properly say, “Ladies and gennelmen.”
MOP: I’m not sure I can get the right combination of adorable, fascinating, and annoying.
LOT: She says Anne Curtis was the first Filipina to be featured in this E! Asia series. What does that make Papa P?
MOP: The second.
LOT: Speaking of! Papa P is here!
MOP: Wait. Is he… singing?
LOT: Yes. “If I Fell” by the Beatles.
MOP: To be fair, his CDs achieved Gold sales. Or was it Platinum?
LOT: Shhh. Listen. He’s now talking.
MOP: I’m still wondering if his solo CD was better than his time with The Hunks.
LOT: The Hunks have long disbanded. 40% of the team have no careers.
MOP: Shhh. Listen.
LOT: I said that first.
MOP: So Papa P didn’t like being called Papa P, eh? But he just got used to it.
LOT: Like he could do something about it. Besides, it’s become its own brand, that nickname. Do you think there will be a Q&A? Or will this go straight to photo-ops?
MOP: Well, it looks like no one’s going straight! See? They’re beginning the Q&A.
LOT: These questions are so safe. They’re boring.
MOP: They’re so safe, they’re practically time-locked.
LOT: Why even have this presscon if they can just tell us to watch the show for the juicy details?
MOP: As juicy as can possibly be within the bounds of reason and taste, I assume. Because this is, after all, Papa P. And not It Takes Gutz To Be A Gutierrez.
LOT: Not that we should complain. Look at Papa P’s bone structure. It makes me feel mortal. On a side note, I’m curious if he has plans to direct any movies.
MOP: Well, that girl just asked. And there’s his answer.
LOT: He thinks Pinoy celebrities have the advantage over others because our artists can supposedly act, sing, dance, and host.
MOP: Heck, they can even become congressmen and senators.
LOT: Well, not counting the politics, he’s obviously done all of that.
MOP: What do you expect? He’s apparently versatile!
LOT: So what persuaded him to appear in this supposedly no-holds-barred reality feature?
MOP: Well, he’s been in the business for over twenty years. Frankly, he deserves this more than Anne Curtis. But then she probably could buy E! Asia, their friends, and their houses.
LOT: Papa P still has the power to make me panic. I’ll give him that.
MOP: Yes, the kilig factor is still there. Ay! The Q&A is done?
LOT: That’s it? Oh, well, at least there’s a raffle!
MOP: Who cares? I never win these things. Okay, once. Pizza in high school. Okay, twice. Won a TV in my old job. Wait. I won an underwater cam the following year. So what are the chances again, right? So dedma.
LOT: The grand prize is a Samsung Galaxy phone.
(Papa P: Minister of Propaganda… Where is the Minister of Propaganda?)
LOT: That’s you!
MOP: It’s me?
LOT: It’s you!
MOP: OMG! That’s me! He said my name! Binigkas nya ang pangalan ko! Mahal na nya ako!
LOT: I hate you.
MOP: You want to buy it?
LOT: Yes, I’m in dire need of a new phone! How many “gives”?
MOP: Too bad! It’s not for sale. It’s my birthday gift from Papa P. And I don’t even like Samsung much. I’m Steve Jobs’s bitch.
LOT: Do you think he’ll save his number on the phone?
MOP: Hope so. Wait! Is the launch over?
LOT: Your raffle prize ended the launch.
MOP: So I’m the face that ended a thousand launches.
LOT: Look at these giveaways! Nice pillows with Papa P’s face on them. We should get one for the Minister of Teleportation!
MOP: Why?
LOT: He looks like you-know-who! He can take a picture with it, and let’s see if people can tell the difference. The rumors will fly. It will require another tell-all.
MOP: It’s Piolo on a pillow! It’s a Piollow! Now we can sleep with Papa P as much and as often as we want!
Piolo Pascual’s exclusive tell-all interview special will air on E! News Asia Channel on 28 September 2014 at 9:00PM.
Deficits are not limits: The defective heroes of Guardians of the Galaxy
Leagues and legions of superheroes are usually effective as a direct result of the union of each member’s unique abilities, whether they include super-human strength, lightning-speed, telepathy, or other powers that individually define each of them as a deserved hero and collectively create an unstoppable force.
In Guardians of the Galaxy, we’re introduced to a band of outlaws, outsiders and outcasts. With the exception of some sweet dance moves and decent marksmanship, we don’t immediately get the traditional introduction to the colorful rainbow of superpowers we’re accustomed to with superhero teams. There’s no amazing, no fantastic, no spectacular. The Guardians themselves refer to themselves as “losers” and the “biggest idiots” in the galaxy. They underperform or fall below normative expectations. In fact, these space misfits offer something rarely seen in superhero films: the Guardians show emotional, neurological, developmental and communication deficits that 1) are not expected to be resolved or cured at the end of the film and 2) do not make them ineffective as heroes.
The following is a conceptualization of each character’s below-average functioning across some psychological dimensions and why these deficits do not create significant limits for them.
Read We Are Groot: Guardians of the Galaxy Celebrates Heroes With Authentic Psychological Deficits by Andrea Letamendi at Comics Alliance.
Cinemalaya X reviews: K’na the Dreamweaver, #Y and the triumph of the milieu
K’na the Dreamweaver. “You must see the big picture,” the old dreamweaver tells her granddaughter, and the filmmakers follow her advice in this beautiful movie that makes us want to book a ticket to Lake Sebu right now.
#Y. “Having no right to be unhappy is not the same as being happy,” says Miles (Elmo Magalona) in this intriguing, unsettling film about privileged millennials that makes us happy we never had children.
And that completes our Cinemalaya viewing for the year. We will review all the Cinemalaya X New Breed movies in full.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
