Tower Heist: In which the people are revenged upon the Madoff
At the movies with Chus
– Look, there’s a movie called Trespass starring Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman.
– I don’t know…
– From the poster I’m guessing it’s a thriller about a married couple whose house someone breaks into. Like Dead Calm, but not in the water.
Our favorite Nicolas Cage movies are:
1. Leaving Las Vegas – though we have no intention of seeing it again.
2. Red Rock West
3. Vampire’s Kiss
4. Wild At Heart
5. Moonstruck – which explains why we have the urge to slap him repeatedly while yelling “Snap out of it!!”
Our favorite Nicole Kidman movies are:
1. Margot at the Wedding
2. Flirting
3. Birth – Yes it’s weird.
4. To Die For
5. The Portrait of A Lady – though it should’ve been obvious to anyone that marrying John Malkovich is a bad idea.
– Who’s the director?
– (Squints) Joel Schumacher. Bleeccch, we’re not watching that.
Directors whose movies we avoid automatically:
1. McG
2. Brett Ratner
3. Joel Schumacher – We confess we watched Blood Creek because it starred Michael Fassbender (with bonus Henry Cavill and Dominic Purcell). It was idiotic beyond belief.
– There’s In Time. It’s written and directed by the Gattaca guy.
– Kermit saw it. He said he wanted the two hours of his life back.
– Puss in Boots?
– Please, we live with cats.
– Praybeyt Benjamin?
– Saw it.
– Is it bad?
– No, but it’s not good either. Hardest movie to review: we have no opinion of it.
– Aha, Tower Heist. With Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Gone Baby Gone Affleck, Sarah Jessica Parker’s husband formerly known as Ferris Bueller, and Precious.
– That one then. (Good thing we did not look up the name of the director because it was in fact #2 on our Avoid List.)
– Eddie Murphy’s looking and sounding good. Almost like the old Eddie Murphy.
– Why is Ben Stiller hot?
– Yes, when did this happen?
Our favorite Ben Stiller movies are:
1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Greenberg
3. Zoolander
4. Flirting With Disaster
5. Tropic Thunder/Mystery Men
Ben Stiller movies you couldn’t pay us to watch: Those Focking flicks
– Alan Alda is a brilliant Madoff. Kind of folksy and evil.
– Dammit why is Ben Stiller hot.
– So it’s established. Ratner can’t do action or comedy and he can’t do heist movies. He casts Tea Leoni then he doesn’t give her anything to do. He has Gabourey coming on to Eddie and then he doesn’t go anywhere with it. This movie only works because of Alda, Murphy and Stiller.
– (Apply temperature-related adjective to Ben Stiller.)
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
November 9th, 2011 at 04:19
– Puss in Boots?
– Please, we live with cats.
———-
For some reason, that made me laugh out loud. :) That, followed by the Schumacher embargo. I’d agree with that embargo except for “Lost Boys.”
Jessica Z: Speaking of cats, I think you might like this if you haven’t come across it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/07/21-cats-doing-impressions_n_1080658.html?ref=comedy
November 9th, 2011 at 10:57
allancarreon: The Joel Schumacher embargo may be lifted if the movie stars Colin Farrell.
November 9th, 2011 at 20:27
Jessica Z: Yes, there shall never be a Colin Farrell embargo.
November 10th, 2011 at 08:26
When did Eddie Murphy become such a hollywood loser? And yes, Ben Stiller got hot!
November 13th, 2011 at 20:02
I do not believe in imposing any kind of embargo on Colin Farrell. At all.
Ben Stiller did get hot with age, didn’t he? Too bad I still could not look at him without seeing Derek Zoolander. That, and Eddie Murphy, might be enough for me to watch Tower Heist… even if Brett Ratner sucks, and even if Tea Leoni looks quite miscast.