JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

1. Scented candles say “I’m not even trying.”
2. One bottle of wine says, “I got a case at a wholesale rate so whoopee-doo, you’re all getting the same thing”, which suggests you can’t tell your friends apart. Does not apply to rare vintages.
3. A book, because I might already have it. Gift certificates are alright, but they announce, “I can’t be bothered to think of an appropriate present for you, so go get yourself something.”
4. Refrigerator magnets, because there is no space left on the surface of the fridge to stick them on. (In my house the fridge is less a food storage device than a bulletin board.)
5. Perfume. I can’t stand strong scents and most perfumes give me a headache.
6. Cookies, because I hang out with a pastry chef and I’ve gotten snooty about desserts.
7. DVDs, see number 3.
8. Lined notebooks. I prefer plain unlined or squared.
9. Figurines and other cute bric-a-brac, because my cats hate them and kick them off tables and shelves.
10. Picture frames say, “I don’t really know you, but I feel obligated to give you a present.”