Dickens Translation Group: The Terrible Stranger in the Churchyard
We said it wouldn’t be easy, but it can be done. Here is Akyat-Bahay Gangster’s translation of that scene in which the escaped convict menaces Pip in the graveyard. “What is really difficult is deciding the level of ‘language loftiness’ to settle on in Tagalog, i.e. How would a Tagalog-speaking Dickens have written it? Lots of conjecture required.”
1. Just stay as close to the text as you can manage.
2. Don’t worry about it, this is not an exam.
3. If it were easy there would be no sense of accomplishment.
4. Jose Rizal read Charles Dickens.
The Terrible Stranger in the Churchyard. F. W. Pailthorpe. c. 1900
The passage from Chapter 1:
“Now lookee here!” said the man. “Where’s your mother?”
“There, sir!” said I.
He started, made a short run, and stopped and looked over his shoulder.
“There, sir!” I timidly explained. “Also Georgiana. That’s my mother.”
“Oh!” said he, coming back. “And is that your father alonger your mother?”
“Yes, sir,” said I; “him too; late of this parish.”
“Ha!” he muttered then, considering. “Who d’ye live with,—supposin’ you’re kindly let to live, which I han’t made up my mind about?”
“My sister, sir,—Mrs. Joe Gargery,—wife of Joe Gargery, the blacksmith, sir.”
“Blacksmith, eh?” said he. And looked down at his leg.
After darkly looking at his leg and me several times, he came closer to my tombstone, took me by both arms, and tilted me back as far as he could hold me; so that his eyes looked most powerfully down into mine, and mine looked most helplessly up into his.
“Now lookee here,” he said, “the question being whether you’re to be let to live. You know what a file is?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you know what wittles is?”
“Yes, sir.”
After each question he tilted me over a little more, so as to give me a greater sense of helplessness and danger.
“You get me a file.” He tilted me again. “And you get me wittles.” He tilted me again. “You bring ’em both to me.” He tilted me again. “Or I’ll have your heart and liver out.” He tilted me again.
I was dreadfully frightened, and so giddy that I clung to him with both hands, and said, “If you would kindly please to let me keep upright, sir, perhaps I shouldn’t be sick, and perhaps I could attend more.”
He gave me a most tremendous dip and roll, so that the church jumped over its own weathercock. Then, he held me by the arms, in an upright position on the top of the stone, and went on in these fearful terms:—
“You bring me, to-morrow morning early, that file and them wittles. You bring the lot to me, at that old Battery over yonder.
The Tagalog translation by Akyat-Bahay Gangster:
“Teka muna,” sabi ng lalaki sa akin. “Nasaan ang nanay mo?’
“Ayun po!” sabi ko.
Sumugod siya pansumandali, huminto, at lumingon patalikod.
“Ayun po!” nahihiya kong inulit. “ ‘At si Georgiana.’ Siya po ang aking nanay.”
“Ah!” sabi niya habang papalapit muli sa akin. “At yung katabi ng nanay mo, yun ba ang tatay mo?”
“Opo,” sabi ko, “taga-rito rin po siya noong siya’y nabubuhay.”
“Ganoon ba,” nasambit niya habang nag-iisip. “At kanino ka naman nakikitira ngayon, kung madali ka namang pakisamahan, gayong hindi ko pa sigurado kung ganoon nga?”
“Sa kapatid ko po, si Gng. Joe Gargery, asawa po ng isang panday.”
“Panday ba kamo?” sabi niya habang minamasdan ang kanyang binti.
Pasalit-salit niyang tiningnan ako at ang kanyang binti. Pagkatapos ay lumapit siya sa puntod na aking inuupan, binuhat ako na hawak ang dalawa kong braso, at itinuwad hanggang ako’y halos mabitiwan. Tinitigan niya akong nanlilisik ang mga mata, at ako’y nama’y kaawa-awang tumitig din sa kanya.
“Ang lagay ay,” sabi niya, “babayaan ba kitang mabuhay o hindi? Alam mo ba kung ano ang kikil?”
“O-opo.”
“At alam mo ba kung ano ang tsibog?”
“Opo.”
Sa bawat tanong ay unti-unti niya akong itinuwad pa nang bahagya, na lalo ko lang ikinatakot.
“Ikuha mo ako ng isang kikil.” Bahagya pa niya akong itinuwad. “At ikuha mo ako ng tsibog.” At itinuwad pang bahagya. “At dalhin mong pareho sa akin.” Kaunti pang tuwad. “Kundi ay dudukutin ko ang puso at ang atay mo.” Tuwad pa.
Ako’y nangangatal sa takot at lulang-lula na kaya’t mahigpit ko siyang hinawakan ng dalawang kamay. “Parang awa niyo na po, pakitayo niyo na po ako, kasi’y ako po’y maduduwal na, at para mas maintindihan ko po ang sinasabi ninyo.”
Bigla niya akong palublob na inikot, na sa paningin ko ay lumukso ang simbahan sa banoglawin nito. Pagkatapos ay hinawakan niya ako sa aking mga braso at itinayo sa puntod, at nakakatakot na binigkas:
“Bukas nang maagang-maaga ay dadalhin mo sa akin ang kikil at ang tsibog. Dadalhin mong lahat sa akin, doon sa lumang Muog, sa dako roon.”
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
January 10th, 2012 at 22:02
I’ve read the English translation of The Little prince which was originally written in French and that of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle from Japanese. I wonder how the originals were composed, how close the sentences were formed from the originals and whether the words were connoting exactly the same as intended by the original writers.
Which reminds me your Ruffa Gutierrez billboard post (Tite/Tyt) and the “pulis, pulis, titi mong matulis.”
January 10th, 2012 at 23:56
I think Akyat-Bahay has misunderstood the meaning of one sentence…I understood “Who d’ye live with,—supposin’ you’re kindly let to live, which I han’t made up my mind about?” as a veiled death threat against the boy, so something more like “At saan ka namumuhay ngayon, —kung mabubuhay ka pa nga, at hindi pa ako nakakadesisyon tungkol doon?”
[/probably fails at Tagalog, but you get the picture…]
January 11th, 2012 at 11:04
I agree with books2thesky but over-all it’s a good translation. Maybe we can use the word “tuloy” which can refer to both residence and death. “Saan ka tumutuloy? Eh kung tuluyan kaya kita?”
January 11th, 2012 at 11:07
Or “Saan ka tumutuloy? Tuluyan kita diyan eh!” ;))
January 11th, 2012 at 12:03
Good input — you’re all right, I didn’t get it that way at all. I agree with a revised translation along the lines of “At saan ka naman namumuhay ngayon — kung mabubuhay ka pa nga, gayong hindi pa ako nakakasiguro roon?”
January 12th, 2012 at 05:59
Glad to have helped! And the rest of the translation is definitely good– in particular, using “tsibog” to translate “vittles” was an inspired choice! :D
January 12th, 2012 at 22:19
Thanks — I did wonder what “wittles” was supposed to be, until I remembered from the first time that I read Great Expectations long ago that it was meant to be a mispronunciation of “vittles,” which in turn is how “victuals” (=”tsibog”!) is supposed to be pronounced. Strange but interesting.