Claudine, I think I feel your pain. (Updated)
I just think it, okay, I’m not saying I do.
At this exact moment I should be on a plane bound for Tuguegarao. I’m supposed to cover a mini-summit on the preservation of the Philippine crocodile. (Insert your buwaya joke here. Yeah, you’re so clever.)
The Cebu Pacific flight to Tuguegarao was at 1125. I arrived at NAIA Terminal 3 at 1010 (based on the last text I sent out), and there were enough people in there to overthrow a government. There was one queue for all the check-in counters—this is supposed to be more efficient than having separate counters for each flight. I noticed a self-service check-in machine and tried to use it, but the attendant said you could only do this if there was an hour and a half before your flight. And I thought the point of automation was speed.
So I joined the long, snaking queue. I texted our trip organizer, who said she was also in the queue. Being fairly efficient, I used the time to copy-read an article on my Blackberry and email corrections. Then I noticed our organizer in the queue because she is always ridiculously stylish. We waved at each other.
A few minutes later I noticed that she was already at the counter. When she finished she came up to me and said, “Didn’t someone call you to approach the counter?” I said no. “Anyway I gave them your name and they’ll call you.” We weren’t worried because there were 6 of us traveling together and all our names were on the same ticket.
Nobody called me, and after a couple of minutes I decided to approach the counter uninvited. I told the man in front of me that I was going to ask about my flight. Just then the boarding call for my flight came on the PA system.
I walked up to the check-in counter and told the female attendant that my flight was boarding and I needed to check in pronto. She asked me if I had luggage to check, I said no. There was no sense of urgency in her manner, in fact she seemed bored, so I figured there was no problem. She told me to wait, then she went away.
After 2 minutes I told another female attendant that my flight was boarding and I had to check in immediately. She said, “Who told you to come to this counter?” So I repeated my conversation with the first attendant. She asked me how long I’d been in the queue, then she said to wait. This attendant seemed even less in a rush than the first.
In olden times I might’ve said something to the attendants. I don’t do that anymore because (A) It’s a waste of a good vocabulary, (B) Public meltdowns are tacky, and (C) It’s like scientists debating evolution with creationists: it enhances their reputation, not mine.
After a few minutes she took my ticket and ID and went off to talk to someone. More time passed. Someone announced that the flight from Tuguegarao had just landed. If that was the same plane I was taking, I still had time.
Then this male attendant, maybe a supervisor, came up to me with my ticket and ID and in a solemn, scolding manner said they had a rule. You can only check in 45 minutes before your flight; after that you just can’t. “So I can’t take this flight?” I asked. He said no. “When is the next flight to Tuguegarao?” I asked.
“There’s only one flight a day.” It would be pointless to fly out the next day, because the group was leaving early by truck to go to the remote Dunoy lake where 20 crocodiles raised by the Mabuwaya Foundation would be released.
I called our organizer, who was still at the gate. She said, “That can’t be” and went to talk to the ground staff.
Now I have a foul, foul temper, and if I’d been working around gamma radiation you know what would’ve happened. (Mmmm Mark Ruffalo.) But instead of blowing up I started feeling hilarious. I kept thinking of Claudine, Raymart and Tulfo having a brawl in the airport. Don’t lose it! I told myself. There could be a Tulfo taking video with his phone this instant! Do you want to be on youtube??
The thought of having a brawl with the Tulfos struck me as hysterical. As a matter of fact I’m supposed to interview the brothers next week. (I thought of it after I watched the entire first season of Justified starring Timothy Olyphant. I wonder why.) So instead of restraining myself from ripping off people’s heads I had to stop myself from giggling. Erwin and I used to write for TODAY—I suppose I could take him in a hair-pulling contest, but could I deal with Erwin plus Raffy and Ben? That’s a lot of hair.
Oh shit what if they challenge me to a Hagibis dance-off. Dammit where’d I put those steel-toed boots?
Our organizer called back and said she’d tried speaking to various ground crew but it was like talking to a wall. THAT’s the expression I was looking for. So I texted my editor that I was going to miss my flight and she said she’d call someone at Cebu Pacific.
Minutes later, a phone call from Cebu Pacific. “Can I help you?”
Holding back a fit of giggles I explained the situation. She said she’d call me back.
When she called back she said the flight had already boarded. Uh, Yeah, in the 45 minutes we’d been talking to walls, that would have happened.
And that’s the story of my non-brawl at NAIA terminal 3. I go to the taxi queue, and three taxis refuse to take me to Makati. Cause it’s really far. Or near. Or whatever rule governs their decisions. I come home with my bag, and my three cats look up from their naps with matching expressions of “What are you doing here?”
In short, this is a good day to be staring at a gif of Steve Rogers at the punching bag (See previous post).
Almost forgot thanks to my unnaturally good mood: CebuPac blows.
* * * * *
Coming soon: A rehab program for people who love The Avengers too much.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
May 18th, 2012 at 14:07
Hay. Hindi ko rin naiintindihan kung bakit iisa or dalawang check-in counters ang itinatalaga ng CebuPac para sa lahat ng flights, lalo na’t iba-iba ang iskyedul ng mga tao sa paglipad. Hindi ba’t nakakayamot isipin na maari kang maantala dahil ang (mga) taong sa bandang harap ng pila, kahit masma-uuna ang paglipad mo, ay maraming inaasikaso/ pina-aasikaso sa counter?
Oh well, papel.
May 18th, 2012 at 14:37
Nakakaloka!!! Grabe, will never fly with Cebu Pacific again?! I don’t want that kind of hassle argggh :((
May 18th, 2012 at 15:27
I would have enjoyed this more if you have claudined at the airport!
May 18th, 2012 at 17:46
HAD.
May 18th, 2012 at 17:56
must be fun working for cebu pac if it means having to piss off celebrities all the time :D
May 18th, 2012 at 18:02
Bitch, please.
1. Not a celebrity. Actually did something. Uhh…used correct punctuation.
2. Was opposite of pissed off: giggly.
May 18th, 2012 at 19:00
They make up for it by doing ‘bring me’ and trivia games once you board (their version of in-flight entertainment). And! The silly safety routine they do is supposed to make you forget about the hassle. The nerve talaga of this airline, eh.
May 18th, 2012 at 19:52
Am not really an Avengers aficionado but stumbled on to this: http://imgur.com/teTfY
Mark Ruffalo seemed more Hulk-y in high school than he is now. And, wow, Jeremy Renner’s hair looks like a computer-generated special effect.
May 18th, 2012 at 20:14
hit it right when you said it’s like to talking to walls. shout all you want, even with talsik-laway, and will just bounce off their impassive faces. theyre used to it.
last feb, besides a passenger claudining with matching talsik laway, i noticed on their orange polo shirts various initials like ETM, CIB,..
i wonder if these are the companies from whom cebupacific contracts labor. if yes, are these ground crews treated like janitors, under agencies, who must be terminated after their 5th month at work?
May 18th, 2012 at 20:20
famous people, then ;)
May 18th, 2012 at 20:44
Apparently being a budget airline means doing away with basic customer service. From a friend:
“Cebu Pacific is the pits when it comes to customer service. When irate passengers threaten to sue the airline the ground staff replies, “Go ahead”. Lalo ka lang mapipikon. And in spite of all the horror stories people still patronize Ceb Pac, that’s why they get away with it.”
May 18th, 2012 at 21:25
They oversell tickets to maximize profits. Then when plane is full, they deny passengers from boarding by claiming the passengers are late. This happens even when you are at the counter 50 or more mins before flight time.
They hope you’d be stupid enough to buy another ticket for the next flight with them.
By the way, not all budget airlines are like that. Only Cebu Pacific.
Do not ever, ever take Cebu Pacific again!
May 18th, 2012 at 21:35
Ah, so it’s a race to see who gets the seat that several people have paid for! And when you rebook your flight, you get hit with surcharges!
Have learned lesson. No Cebu Pac ever again.
May 18th, 2012 at 21:59
You cannot pay a surcharge. Your ticket expires. You need to buy a new ticket.
May 18th, 2012 at 22:35
Yeah they are evil. I remember when I moved here, I came in four minutes late after the check-in counter closed. I was not allowed to check in and was forced to rebook a ticket and my excess baggage cost more than four thousand pesos. The ticket cost five thousand pesos plus and the unused ticket cost around three thousand. I was so angry. And in order to make myself feel better, I looked at random strangers and silently said to them ” O. Kaya mo yan? Bongga ako diba?” Nagbitter-bitteran ako. Hahaha.
Oh, there was also a time I flew with Cebu Pacific years ago. While eating at an airport restaurant, I sat beside a pregnant woman who was seething with rage. Apparently, she was asked to get off the plane because the medical certificate she presented was about three days old. She was on the verge of tears and if words could kill, the bodies of Cebu Pacific employees would have littered the runway.
May 18th, 2012 at 22:44
I used to patronize Cebu Pac because of the prices, I was able to get them at “piso fares” and with the surcharges, it would amount to 2k roundtrip to a nearby Asian country. I didn’t mind the cramped seating conditions or the fact that we had to buy snacks, you do get what you pay for.
And they had many, many counters in NAIA3.
Last three trips have been local, with PAL or Zest Air. They are both cheaper now than Cebu Pac and they have been great with service.
Given all that I have heard about Cebu Pac these few months – from friends, “celebrities” last week, and now you – it will take a miracle for me to consider riding with them again.
May 18th, 2012 at 23:19
Ako ang napagod at nainis sa karanasan na sinalay say mo tungkol sa cebu pac. Naalala ko ang di magandang serbisyong natanggap ko mula sa kanila. Sa kabilang banda, ako ay natawa na ang Claudine ay isa ng pandiwa.
May 19th, 2012 at 01:08
Congrats! You’re now unassailably Zen. :)
May 19th, 2012 at 09:00
I was left stranded by Cebu Pacific in Bacolod during the Maskara festival about 4 years ago. I’ve taken a lot of plane rides since then and my number one rule has always been ANY airline EXCEPT Cebu Pacific (never mind if I need to pay more).
If they continue to amaze customers with their “exemplary” service, they will run out of customers and loyalists in the next decade. Their service is rotten to the core.
May 19th, 2012 at 09:10
sign me up for Avengers Anonymous
May 20th, 2012 at 02:24
when will they be shamed into better customer service?
http://malaya.com.ph/index.php/opinion/3419-company-policy
we need a Pinoy Dave Carroll
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo
May 20th, 2012 at 02:37
oooh, check out the third united breaks guitars video from dave carroll. (there’s 3 in total) very apt. =)
May 24th, 2012 at 10:07
First time booked with Cebu Pacific, and I thought I was just one of those few unlucky people out there. Here’s what I can say so far:
1) Why are their signboards so small? You go into the airport, and you can’t seem to find where you’re supposed to fall in line until you end up asking some personnel who’s in the middle of a small crowd asking the same question as yours — “where is the line for my flight?” Then you see the tiny signboards beside her. Why can’t their systems handle check-in for ALL flights (although I can’t even comprehend what sort of MESS they’re going to end up with if they try that)?
2) I guess it is mostly due to the incompetence of the personnel manning counters, but once I get into the check-in area I seem to have no clue where a line leads to, and the personnel managing the queues seem just as confused.
3) We have a small carry-on that is obviously going to fit the overhead bins. A lot of planes have a size limit for carry-ons, and the process has been working fine. The price for checking in a tiny bag is quite expensive. Anyhow, funny thing is, on our return flight they let us bring our wheeled carry-on without checking it, only to be blocked by the security guard at the tarmac who told us they will have to check plane-side. Fine. I thought they had to hold it and we had to pay for it when we landed on our destination, but funny thing is, the bag appeared at the carousel and we needn’t even pay a cent for “checking” it. The inconsistency of how they enact their policy just annoys me.
4) Not CebuPac related, but similar to #2 – there are some dumb groups of people that just stand between lines and you end up falling in line behind them only to find out they aren’t really in line (especially those large groups of 5 or more, ugh). If you aren’t really in line try to stay out of the way, other people shouldn’t make others ask you if you’re in a line or not. Some people just can’t grasp the concept of queues.
I just thought Cebu Pacific was just a big waste of a really nice airport. I hope the nicer airlines get moved to the new terminal.