Amazing Race: Rome
1. Ewan McGregor in a habit! Eeeeeeeeeeee. . . Someone pointed out that in one scene Tom Hanks is in a Speedo. I didn’t notice.
2. Two-hour episode of Amazing Race: Rome. But much less exciting.
3. Tom Hanks, wag kang tatabi kay Ewan, guapo yan. Seriously, Tom is too low-key in this one. During the movie you can entertain yourself by re-casting the male lead. I’d go with Edward Norton or Liev Schreiber. Kermit casts Ben Affleck. Bert wants Leonardo DiCaprio (who’s reportedly been cast in Scorsese’s Sinatra biopic).
4. The female lead really functions as the subtitles. Subtitles for the mentally-impaired.
5. Way too much exposition in the first half-hour, it’s like having the book read to you in a monotone. (I have not read the book. ‘You mean you haven’t read Angels and Demons?’ ‘No, you mean you haven’t read Fear and Trembling by Søren Kierkegaard?’) They’re racing to find the explosive device and Tom Hanks spends too much time explaining his research to the CERN physicist. Hoy, di ba nagmamadali kayo?
6. Kermit’s review of Da Vinci Code: If the old man really wanted to protect his secret, he should’ve just died (Instead of contorting himself into the Vitruvian man and so on).
7. Hmm, the Camerlengo McKenna (Ewan) was adopted by the future pope at age 9 and taken to the Vatican where he did his military service. And he still sounds Scottish! Ewan in a habit, eeeeeeeee. My favorite Ewan project: the documentary on polar bears where he kept bursting dementedly into song.
8. It’s the Italians’ turn to be annoyed as hordes of tourists descend on Rome using the Dan Brown as their guidebook. Tom Hanks races to find the secret locations, and they turn out to be the first places tourists would visit.
9. They have under 5 minutes but someone manages to get out of the tomb, run across the huge building, jump in the helicopter and reach sufficient altitude to. . .Ah, whatever.
10. I gather the filmmakers tried their best to goad the Vatican into condemning the film so it would gross a jillion dollars. It didn’t work. Still it looks like a big hit in Makati: by 2pm all the screenings at Greenbelt were full and the next available seats were at 10.30.
11. Super-hitman did all the work by himself, apparently.
12. I learned that an ineligible candidate can still be voted Pope by some kind of general Adoration rule. Pope Barack Obama?
13. Hmm, antimatter in a jar. What happens if it comes into contact with red matter? Ewan McGregor in a habit! Eeeeeeeee.
14. Belle and Krude have compiled a movie Dream Team. Whenever a movie is particularly bad, they look for the following names in the credits: producer George Lucas, director David S. Goyer (Blade Trinity) or M. Night Shyamalan, actors Nicolas Cage or Madonna. If any of these names were involved in the production, then they know whom to blame for the badness. My Dream Team has just one name in it: Akiva Goldsman. Guess who wrote the screenplay of Angels and Demons.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
May 15th, 2009 at 23:04
I’ve read Angels and Demons, also Da Vinci Code, a long long time ago. When I heard Tom Hanks was being cast as Robert Langdon, I promised myself not to see the movie ever, as a sign of protest. Until now, I haven’t seen Da Vinci Code and am not planning to see Angels & Demons. Nothing against Tom, but he is not my idea of Langdon.
May 16th, 2009 at 09:22
Thanks for this. I told myself that if the stupid ‘sufficient altitude’ thing makes it to the movie, I won’t see it. You just freed my movie money to be used for something else.
May 16th, 2009 at 16:00
jessica, you’re suppose to read the book first and puke over it. and then watch the movie version for a barfing session. that’s how i managed my theraphy with the da vinci code. am bringing in a bigger pail for this one this time.
i understand brown’s deception point may be next in the can. this one reads like a clue do game, only that from the start you already know who the culprit it. how cerebral.
May 18th, 2009 at 07:24
For a “symbologist” who is an expert on Church matters, isn’t it strange that Langdon does not know Latin??!!
From Roger Ebert’s review of the film: “If the Illuminati are indeed scientists, they would better employ themselves not avenging ancient deeds, but attacking modern fundamentalist cults.”
May 18th, 2009 at 12:51
Don’t bother reading the book. Read it a long time ago, and it read like a lousy screenplay waiting to be made into a movie. Seriously.
“Symbologist,” wtf. What are semioticians for? Umberto Eco will always kick Dan Brown’s ass.
Haven’t seen it, but I might watch it on DVD so I can see Ewan McGregor. When I saw him in the trailer, my first reaction was, “sexy Father Ewan, this is so sinful.”
May 18th, 2009 at 13:34
I agree with Liev Schreiber as the lead. Yun lang.
May 18th, 2009 at 15:13
i was uberrrrrrrly shocked with the helicopter scene. i mean, come on! WTF!
but, i must say that the movie was still great! Ewan McG is the best Camerlengo. And for Tom Hanks, he’s fine come on give the guy a grip! :)
fave character would have to be that swiss police who smoke a little but nearly died in the archives!!!!!! lmao! :)
May 19th, 2009 at 22:38
I’ve Seen it,no choice because someone treated me to movie. Some loopholes in the plot: how on earth did the Camerlengo know that the anti-matter’s explosion in the upper atmosphere will not kill him?What if he died in the helicopter?Then the entire movie or book would be pointless,no? The parachute landed squarely inside the Vatican door!Such excellent chute navigation by Ewan! In real life,he could have landed miles away from the Vatican due to the extreme shock wave. That is,if he was not vaporized yet by the big bang effect. How did the scientist babe get so familiar with “symbology” like Hank’s character,if her background is in physics? How can they sustain their energy in the extended “visita Iglesia” for entire 24 hours without stopping for food and drink? Can one badly wounded assassin really attack and kill that many well-trained Carabinieris and Italian police? (maybe the Italian authorities need re-training?). Wow,those black Lancia police cars are nice. Love them.
May 20th, 2009 at 01:51
andreavenge,
that’s what i thought about reading the da vinci code–a script. only to find out the movie was even much worse. urggh. dan brown, however, is one damn rich lousy scriptwriter.
May 20th, 2009 at 17:13
i actually enjoyed the movie; way better than The Da Vinci Code. i like Angels than Da Vinci — book and movie. but Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon is not a good choice, i think.